Here Today... Gone To Hell!

Hey guys.
My friend Steve is going through a bit of a real rough patch in his life at the moment. He's actually a member of this forum as well, but he doesn't post too much.
I don't want to go into too much detail out of respect for him, but today things have come to a head for him, and as a result of a miscommunication he's shut me out now.

Rather than blow him off and leave it at that, I still want to try to help him out. I know he frequents this particular part of the forum a bit, so..

If it's not too much to ask, I hope the fellow gunners here could take one minute just to leave a simple message here sending some good luck and best wishes his way, hopefully to make him feel better, I would really appreciate that. He's my good mate, and it pains me seeing him going through so much shit.

I just went through a horrible patch on my own


Sit by yourself in your room and just work things out in your mind.

FIgure out what is causing u to feel the way u are feeling and think of ways to change it no matter what it takes.

What makes u happy? whatever it is DO IT

what makes u feel like shit and brings u down? Let it go


Remember only u can change your life and your situation

Throw away the cop outs, throw away the excuses, throw away the crutches that u lean on to stop yourself from being happy.


Im learning to do that now.

Good luck.

life sucks get a helmet


life will throw ya curve balls at times and i guess its thrown you one hell of a good one if your friend on here is that worried about ya. If its that bad then WOW i can't imagine what it is but i hope ya get through it alright. Just do wat D said, do what makes ya feel good and if ya have to sit some where in solitude for a few days to figure things out than so be it just don't kill your self its a pussys way out


good luck :beer: :peace:

^nice words D.  Very true.  I might be the wrong person to talk about feeling good right now.  In the past week I've collapsed (didn't break anything) was ambulanced to the emergency room, I've been running fevers, my throat is red and sore as fucking hell, my lungs hurt from coughing like a mofo, both my kids and wife are sick, I've been out of work for about a week, and I'll stop bitching.

Steve, it gets better.  I can't stand Winter.  Don't let it bum ya out.  Whatever it is, don't let it bum ya out.  I recommend the Costanza method from Seinfeld.  When he was in a funk, all he did was do the opposite of everything he was going to do.  The result?  It worked!  He got the girl, the job, the happiness, etc.  In the real world, a variation of this does work.  

On a serious note too, if a buddy of mine made a post like this for me, I think it means he actually cares about my well-being.  You can't have enough people like that in your life, trust me.  That's what real friends care about...your happiness.  Give Ben785 a call and patch it up.   :peace:

Steve man, hope it all gets better...


You may not be to well known here, but post about shit to vent... Alot of people here are willing to help ya... No one will judge ya  : ok:

Thanks for the kind words guys, although sitting in your room for a few days aint easy when your room mate kicks you out for being depressed. I don't even know where the fuck I'm going to go tomorrow when I finish work. My job pays jack shit, so it's not going to be easy finding a place.

And to Benneth, I'm sorry man. I just had a fucking panic attack and misinterpreted what you said. I thought you were about to cut me off like my other "friend". I should have known you would never do that man. You're a fucking legend. I'm glad I got a hold of you this morning to tell you that.

Needless to say my whole world has been rocked to its very foundations. I guess this friend of mine was nothing but selfish, only caring about what she was feeling, and how my depression was affecting her and that if I'm not happy around her, I shouldn't be around her at all. Either way, she ended the friendship last night so I guess that's that.

use the music to get through it man. the musics always gonna be there!

good luck man...
it seems like lately there has been a lot of crap going down with many people that i know.
last week at work was crazy and i was so glad it was over.. it's slowly getting better so hang in there !!!

Though it might seem hard to believe, a year or two from now you will have a laugh about this. Good luck, and heres to ya; Cheers!!!

I doubt it. Last night she walked in the door and told me to go and drink a bottle of bleach and kill myself. This is one of the most selfish people I have ever known I am coming to realise. She told me that she doesn't get anything out of the friendship and that my depression was nothing more than a deliberate attack on her, trying to make her feel miserable.

This is one psycho bitch. She is so fucking egocentrical it's not funny. Everything has to be done to keep her happy or else she loses it.

Fuck it and fuck her. I'm still in shock over this whole thing, but come tomorrow and I will never think of her again, apart from thinking, "That bitch".

Rant over.

^ That is kind of what I meant. You'll be drinking with your buddies in the future, and reminiscing about that "crazy bitch" that you used to know. It sucks now, but it will get better.

I've been through a lot women through the years, but my friends are still there.

Sounds like you need to work on helping yourself now and not trying to make someone else happy.  It's ok to be a bit selfish right now.  Depression is no joke.  Someone who would say that you are doing it intentionally is not worth your time or your sorrow.

Feel better, chin up.  You will get past this.

Thanks FC and Bandita. I really do appreciate the kind words.

I will move past this, but right now I still think I'm in shock at how fast this whole thing went down. It will pass.

Well I have secured a place to stay for the next month. My good mate says I can stay there for at least a month but that should be plenty of time to find my own place.

Fuck that bitch dude.

You should always look out for number one.  (That's you.)

Cheer up dude, go race a car somewhere, hang with some mates.  Ohhhh, and who knows, you can come up with a great song with this experience!  Even though you are in a shitty situation, you can always draw a lot of positives from bad episodes and use them to improve your life.

Take 'er easy man.

Dude, there are great women out there who will treat u with the respect and love u deserve. The longer u stay with the wrong one, the worse it will get and the more time u will waste and the more time u will feel like shit.


Dump her

Get her out of your life forever. It may be hard breaking the routine and getting over it, but in the long run u will be way better off.


In life, I have found, U have to break the chains of people who hold u down and bring u down. Surround yourself with positive people and u will be a positive person.

Surround yourself with beautiful souls, loving, caring people, and u will get the benefit from that.


The opposite is true as well. Hang around people who give off shit vibes and your life will be shitty.


Be strong and dont be afraid to fight for and gain your independence. Its rough at first but once u get through it, U will feel amazing and will also find the right person who will treat u the way u want to be treated.

Oh yeah

The great Tyler Durden says it best "When You lose everything, U are free to do anything"


Enjoy your freedom!

Then there is Sadie:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xE6_2JoaSEM&NR=1

I agree. Even if she comes back begging for forgiveness, don't take her back. You don't need a friend who will tell you to kill yourself when you have a fight. That's no way to treat a friend. I assume that you know each other pretty well, so she knew what she was doing. So an apology isn't gonna be enough.  >:(

I had a rough two years, and I'm still trying to figure out how to start living again. It's not as easy as it sounds, but it gets better every day now. I was in a "coma" for two years, if you know what I mean. It's like, everybody else is living their lives and you just sit alone in your apartment thinking, how did it get this bad? I went to a hospital at 11pm one night when I couldn't take it anymore, I was afraid I might do something really bad to myself. It got better after that, but not right away.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that it will get better, it just takes some time.

Damn, that girl is evil.
I'd sleep with her best friend. Or sister. And have them telling how great person I am.
The worst thing after a break up to the girl is to have things going your way. And not responding to any her shit,
She needs her satisfaction from your misery, having some sick twisted way of life. She's like a parasite feeding on misery she made.
Maybe it gives her something. I never got the logic when some girls behave like that.

Dude, fight back, when girls took advantage of me, only thing that got my mind of it was someone else. And make them believe I didn't care.


I don't know if this helps, but this is how I got better.


So it's obvious that I feel you on this one, I've done psycho bitches more than a stray dog goes through strashcans. I atract trash, when I look bad, I got the bad.

I've had an attempted stabbing, I've been attacked several times, I've been called all kind of names and been spread rumours about as an attempt to get to my head.

I was depressed too.

The mental shit was worst, when trust is misused, when they've seen to the depths of my soul and they take advantage. No wonder I got sometrust issues after this was done time after time and over and over again.

So I kept the women close but away. I didn't want anyone around for long enogh to know me and I sure as hell didn't want them to get a hold of me and when they tried, I slept with them on final time and left them. Some crying, some confused, some getting the thing they got coming.

It was my path to heal. Too many times had I jumped the wagon for a simple need for someone. And if they need therapy for the "sorry this don't work out" that's their problem. Some of those thigns even started with me going "this is just once". Like they ever believed, I think they saw it as challenge. Well, they failed.

So I enjoyed my time, taking home girls from gigs, sleeping with friends, foes and strangers alike. A Part of it was about success. And a part was keeping it safe, since I didn't get involved with feelings. But it was empty.

I don't know if my friend who gave me advice knew about my issues about opening up or how I felt caged when a girl I hardly knew wanted go steady. When a girl told me she loved me, it made me make her go away.

So I still got nothing serious going on, but I cut off the things making me feel bad.

I'm not depressed anymore.

But looking back at this was that I tried to force myself get over it, and what I really needed was to get over it.

Dont know if u are active but Running is some amazing medicine


I strap on the Ipod, put it on ALL GNR Albums and just go

Time I get done I feel great. : ok:

Or, you could steal some GNR albums and run when the security is after you, gives it more of a kick.

I mean, running is just boring.  : ok:

I like the crazy bitch approach.  Life is all about perspective.  You've found out she's a crazy selfish bitch.  Some day you'll meet a wondeful woman.  A wonderfully giving woman that will be so great to you, you'll question whether or not you deserve her!  You might feel just as shitty questioning your worthiness!   :hihi:  Note that and just grin.  That's life.  The difference between tragic and hilarious isn't that big.  It all depends on how you look at it. 

(p.s., a decade from now, when my son hits his teenage years, make me go back to this post so I can give him some good advice.   :hihi:)  We've all been through this before.  Fuckin Crazy's right.  You'll look back at this with a big smile and laugh.   :peace:

Steve I'm sorry you're going through a hard time, just keep your chin up
When I'm going through a hard time, I try to keep myself very busy, to keep me distracted
I think you are very fortunate to have a good friend who's looking out for you on this forum
you will be in my thoughts. Take care of yourself.


~STR

Hard times are hard.

But it gets better with age. Take comfort in the future, and that it exist.

Thanks guys. I been reading the responses here and thinking about how lucky I was Benny introduced me to this forum in the first place. I really appreciate all your thoughts and kind words. Benneth, you are a fucking legend man! I want you to know it, and one day you will believe it.


Funny you mention it but I started a running program about 2 weeks before the shit hit the fan. I have a bad cold at the moment though so I can't really do the running thing now, but as soon as this cold fuck's off I'll be out pounding the pavement again. It does feel great! Now that I'm not a fat bastard, it's funny how I actually enjoy exercise. I weigh 79kg (174 pound) now, when I used to weigh 117 kg (257 pounds)

STR - Keeping busy is a good idea. I'm being trained as an Apple Certified Technician at work so it's easy to stay busy here. You're right though, I'm lucky to have a friend like Benny.

Axl4Pres - Thanks buddy, I hope I find her soon!

SinCut - Ahhhh. You see the problem is the source of my depression. No way I'm gonna fix myself like that cause quite frankly, I suck with women. I do appreciate the story though man and I'm glad you're not depressed anymore.

Razzberry - You're right man. I don't think she will ever apologise for what she said but an apology would not be enough anyway. She has shown her true colours and I don't want to be friends with someone that selfish. Thanks for sharing man, and it is good to know that even if the funk does last for a while, there will be a light at the end of the tunnel.

D - "Be strong and dont be afraid to fight for and gain your independence. Its rough at first but once u get through it, U will feel amazing and will also find the right person who will treat u the way u want to be treated." - never a truer word was spoken. Thanks brutha.

Eddie's Tongue - I'm starting to find the positives already. At least now I'll be going to live by the beach. That is my fucking dream locataion. Cheers mate.

Bandita - You damn right. I spent way too much time trying to make her happy, driving her around, helping her parents move, watching the shit she likes to watch. Ironic that the end of our friendship was her saying how much I attack her with my depression.  :rofl: Now it's time to look out for moi. 

Polluxlm - I'm looking forward to the future being a hell of a lot better than this. The scars WILL heal with time, I know this.

Anyone else I missed - Thanks for the support. It's amazing how something like a message board about G'n'R can be a place for such support and it does mean an awful lot to me that you would take the time to share your thoughts and experiences.  :beer:

Yeah, when there's nothing going on with gn'r we tend to start playing shrinks, doctors, lawyers. You know, whatever's needed.  :hihi:

Good to see you're already on the way up.

Today is one of lower days I may have ever had.  So much fucking shit.  I am so pissed and angry.  I tried to take a nap, I couldn't.  I can't stop thinking about it.  Its so sad and depressing, like where do I go from here?  What the fuck do I do?  I am gonna grab some brews as a bandaid and look at some new pussy.  Just when you think you have the one.  Just when you think there isn't a better girl out there for you.  Bam, its all fucking gone. 

Steve, good luck with what you are going through. 

I did play some guitar, neck pickup, rolled back the tone to get that KOHD tone.  I just oozed passion in my playing.  Being down like this taps into my creative juices.  I don't know if I can ever top this girl. 

Not to diss your relationship and the heavy meaning it has on u and your heart, but u will top her.

I've had 3 significant loves in my life and I felt the same way after the first 2. I thought it would be impossible to ever feel or have again what I had with those.  The one I have now blows them out of the water combined 1 trillion to one.

Remember though, Things end bad or they wouldn't end.  Each relationship that doesn't work just puts u one step closer to finding enlightenment and the true one u are suppose to be with.

Embrace the misery and see it as a time to reflect, change and get stronger.


Once u get through it, U will be stronger and just have a greater sense of self.

D, great post!!!!  I am such an idiot for getting in the relationship i did anyway.  I was looking at some sex videos we made, if I can ever get a fuck as good as her I will be shocked.  I trained her so well.  Fuck.

^

(http://home.ec.rr.com/bigjon/public/image/quagmire.jpg)

Gosh. I'm late to this post but Steve man, don't spend one minute of your time, not one damn minute getting to know someone who is as selfish as some of the people you describe. Everyone here is basically right. As you grow older, things with friends, relationships, etc., get better because you learn what to avoid and especially people.

I had friends and lovers like that, if it wasn't a good time, they didn't want to be around. It was all about keeping their party going. And who the hell needs friends like that? Friends, lovers are the ones that will stick with you through good and bad and offer you the other cushion from the couch if that is the only place they have left to stay.

And let me tell you this, something I never realized but getting older and going through some shit myself right now, your health is the most important thing for you to take care of. If you don't take care of yourself, you can't do shit for others. So, even if you are depressed, take care of it and don't worry about other people right now - think only about yourself - and if the only thing bothering you is depression, then be grateful that you don't have anything more serious. But don't keep the depression too long because negativity can have a toll on the body too. It can bring on disease. So, screw the rest, take care of the best.

I've been on anti-depressants forever - I've learned to live with it. No one can tell me why I'm depressed. It's not situation anymore, it's a chemical thing. Just keep thinking, this shall pass too. And more people are depressed than you realize. You are actually not alone. And you have a good bud on this board.

In 2007, my life went to hell. I was robbed, laid off, went through a variety of bad family affairs such as my cousin having to kill just to save his own life. So, I know what it's like. good luck to you.

Of course, the positive of this is that I've been able to grow and become much stronger now.

Hang in there Axl4prez...you're a rockstar, and rockstars always make a comeback!!!!!

Steve, everything happens for a reason...keep on rocking dude!!!!

Fuck that! Take comfort in liquor and whores; they are much more fun ... in the future, you only get older.

Well, those aren't mutually exclusive, are they?  ;)

The best couple of hundred bucks I ever spent. ;D