Here Today... Gone To Hell!

Hello fellow Gunners. I had a simple question involving a girl I hope I could get some advice on.

I am currently a Junior in College. I am without a girlfriend recently for the first time since I started here. A few weeks ago, I met a girl that I found to be very cute. We have hung out some and have plans to continue to do so in the future. I have found myself extremely attracted to her.

However, she started a relationship with a guy less than a week before we met. I have never once been one to meddle in another person's affairs, but I really don't want to see this girl get away.

My question is whether I should pursue, and if I should what I should do. I like this girl alot but would have to be a dick, and if I should leave it alone then I will. I have not really been in this situation so I thought I'd ask my friends here for some help.

Thanks.

I say go for it.  She just started dating this guy a week ago, so they're not engaged or anything.  I think you should pursue her as long as you don't do anything evil or horribly deceptive regarding this other guy.  If you have plans to continue hanging out in the future, than I think you still have one foot in the door. 

Also, you could just be honest with this girl and say you like her and you want to date her.  Tell her you want to throw your hat in the ring.

Good luck!

i can't help ya much on that note there but if i were you i'd let it play out and hopefully something happens where you can expose this other dude for the dick he is (may be (idk)).

but buck up man i sure you'll get much advise here


Good luck what ever happens : ok:

No, I don't plan to do anything terrible to the other guy. I don't even want her to cheat, I just want to get with her after they are over. I've thought about telling her but not sure if it's the best idea.

Thanks for the help so far!

I totally agree with this post.. i say go for it and see what happens, hopefully its good!

Just be her friend...it doesn't sound like you are too intense yet or if they are yet...play it out and see what happens. In the meantime, show her what a great guy you are. Chicks really dig guys who can make them laugh and put them at ease. Be yourself, hang out with her when you get the chance and make her feel good about hanging with you. Try not to talk shit about the other guy cuz that could throw up red flags for her. Be her friend and if she sees you how you want her too, she may change her mind about the other guy. Keep yourself definately in the picture ;)

Lisa's right.  Take it from an old-timer like me.  Be yourself.  Be a gentleman.  Have fun man, you're in college. 

If she just started going out with this guy, it's not like they are "exclusive."  Make yourself available and see how it plays out.

My best advice to you would be...never settle.  I never did, and it totally paid off.  You are going to be attracted to a lot of chicks throughout your life.  Does she seem like the kind of person you're compatible with?  A lot of guys make the mistake of hooking up with anything that gives them wood...bad mistake.  I wish you luck dude!   :peace:

Thanks man.

I am always making the effort to be a gentleman when I am around her or talking to her. I am almost positive she has no idea I am interested. I definitely don't want to settle here, I did that last time around. I had no intention of getting with anyone for a while, she just happened along and I was hooked instantly.

She seems very compatible with me, although we don't know each other to well yet. We do have a lot of the same interests and invite each other to different things. At this point I would just love to take her out one night and see how it would go. But she is gorgeous and extremely nice, and would hate to not have a shot at her.

Best of luck to ya!  I'm psyched for you.  Sounds like you've got a good outlook on things.

"I had no intention of getting with anyone for a while..."  Isn't it funny how that works?  When ya least expect it...POW!  It hits ya.  Women rock.   :yes:

Yes it definitetly does. She stopped over my place one night for a party and got all dressed up-way over dressed for our party but I didn't mind haha , and I was just floored by her. And I was just like uh oh I'm in trouble now.

Women do rock. 

Gentleman?

This is where you fail.

Other than that listen to lisa.

I try to explain the gentleman thing; I got friends who are real nice to girls, a.k.a. gentleman, they don't get the pursue.

Not one. The women they have ain't due pursue.

I've had my moments. Actually I've told my friends "that one I will have." And I have. Every time. So maybe I havent been able to keep 'em, but I've had them. And I'm not talking one night either.

So I haven't done this by being a "gentleman", but rather going for the bad boy-thing. You all know how the saying goes.

This guy speaks the truth.

Boys, never take advice from women on how to get women.

Very true.

My advice is, play it cool, become friendly with her but not to friendly, you dont want her to enjoy your friendship so much that she doesnt want to ruin it by getting in a relationship with you.

Make her laugh and let her no your available, that means do not talk to her about girls you were with or girls you might like. Just let her no your single. Thus giving her an alternative to her present boyfriend.

Dont try and fuck things up between herself and her boyfriend for a while, as its in its early days and chances are it will fall apart naturally, if you do try mess things up make sure your not obivious in doing so.

My golden rule is not to become to friendly with her as this has happened to me a few times and your left with a hot girl that just wants to be friends, and that is the worst outcome. ?

If you get bored with waiting get her & yourself drunk and just tell her how you feel. If she turns you down blame the drink. If all else fails use your friendship to hook up with some of her friends.

Good luck. Keep us updated. ?: ok: ?

Well, I think have a decent plan of attack. We are supposed to get together twice this week and hang out. I'd like to tell her how I feel and see what she says to me.

However, we are both involved in a co-ed athletic team here at the university, which is how we met. We were a female short and we didn't know her but she stepped in and really helped us out. Our first playoff game is the 26th, and I i really don't want to mess up the team for this, cause I Don't want to screw the people that play for me.

So I figure I will wait until we are eliminated or win the title (hopefully this) and let her know then. It will give me some more time to feel her out, and not make things messy. Once the season ends I can tell her, and if it goes ugly I guess we can part ways.

Anyone think I'm crazy or is this a good idea? I don't ever stress about females, but I'm pretty much a wreck with this one. Thanks.

Sin Cut, I love ya man!  In a non-gay way of course. :)  Sin Cut reminds me a lot of a buddy of mine.  He scores.  He's the guy who when he sets his mind to it, gets the girl almost every time.  I'm not that kind of guy.  I'm selective almost to a fault.

Anyway, I guess what I'm saying is that if you want to get girls, Sin Cut's the man with the best advice.  If you want to get "thee" girl the "right" way (long-term of course) I like my approach.

Being in college affords you a great opportunity to get to know girls really well before you're even "dating."  It's awesome.  To be able to connect on a friend level first is amazing.

By the way, you brought back great memories.  My wife and I were teammates back in college,...co-ed football.  Great stuff, battles between dorms, etc.  Great memories.   :yes:

Don't let her go dude, go talk to her, ask her questions about herself how's she doing in life what colours she likes stuff like that, she will talk a lot, and I mean A LOT, so pay attention cause in one of those talking she'll give you hint of what she really wants now, study her body language if she notice that you're checking her out she wont know exactly what you want, and she will like the intrigue, anyway other thing take her dancing, or to some bar a few beers is ok, maybe a little chit chat, always make her talk so you can know what she wants and how she is. Remember you are like a salesmen and you're selling yourself  ;)  :peace:

Peace and good luck.

lol i was  expecting you to go.

"right this is my advice, tell the guy he pisses you off, kick his ass and ride off with the girl into the night!"

I'm going to get hammered for this, but what the hell. Dude, you're a Junior in college. What are you ...23 or 24? Hose everything you can get your hands on. If you have to spend over a couple of weeks on it, move on to the next. Keep a couple in play at all times. When you get older, you will look back on these days with fondness. They will all be out of your life by then anyway.

I concur.

BIGTIME.

Just make sure you keep your swimmers in their own pool.

Sman...you....you sexy bastard you.....dog :rofl:
there is SOME merit in his statement....SLC you are a dog too :yes:

Yea, you like dirty dawgs doncha?

hawt dalai lama momma say 'yea'......don't spank so hard next time.

Just be her friend for now...

See how it goes with the other bloke...

Look at dating other people as well.

well, after you nailed the things "right", the guy usually comes to confront you? :hihi: (which sometimes gives you a broken nose (if you're too drunk to block) and cash income as a bonus!)

Girls don't like a guys who starts fights, but rather those who finnish them.? : ok:

One of my ex's were a: "I saw her; had to have her" - kinda thing.

So I failed the time I saw her the first time, the second time few days from that she had broken up with her current bf and followed me home.

Eventually the guy came to pick a fight, but never dares to follow it through. So we got a lot of bad blood with the guy and he lost his face totally to the girl sending messages on her phone how I'll get hurt. And on how he never followed through with the threat. I did confront him a few times and all he did? was trying to get some other guy to fight me.

Eventually I had enough and asked him if I'd need to jerk off to a cup and make him drink it so when he finally got something manly' in him, he could be able to follow his threats through.

Sman sez: satisfaction garanteed

Well it looks like I'm striking out. Thanks for the advice guys. :beer:

From experience.

Leave the situation alone. Be a friend to her, and see how her relationship develops.

Alot of young men, by nature, are changeable. The relationship may not last.

If it does, however, respect her and let her go. There are many more great ladies out there. Take your time

Thanks man. I have decided to just let it be and see if they take their course.

Cool   8)

I have fond memories of ladies I liked at college  ;D and their other halves  :P

You do move on and meet other people. The difficulty in life is that it never stops and you have to eventually.

Yeah I hear ya. I keep my eyes open anyway at this point. So I either end up somewhere else or end up with her, and either way I win. Not to broken up about. Maybe a bruised ego, but nothing more.

I said it before, I'll say it again, you've got a great outlook on this.  You'll be just fine. 

Mysteron said, "From experience.

Leave the situation alone. Be a friend to her, and see how her relationship develops.

Alot of young men, by nature, are changeable. The relationship may not last.

If it does, however, respect her and let her go. There are many more great ladies out there. Take your time"

Gotta like that advice.   :beer:

I can't believe someone on here said to not take a woman's advice on this subject.  All of the long term and really meaningful relationships I have had I was always friends with the person 1st.  Because frankly, why would I want to date someone I wouldn't even want to be friends with?

It depends on what you are looking for I guess.  The guys point of view on here will probably get you laid(which isn't a bad thing at your age).  The ladies and Axl4Prez (who is an awesome guy by the way) will tell you how to keep someone. ;)

Ha!  Thanks L.   :beer:

Being the happy old married guy is great, but when my advice starts sounding like all the ladies', it makes ya wonder.   :hihi:  ...wait a minute, I did recommend a recipe club at the next pre-show meeting.   :nervous:  What's happening to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   :crying:

Just wanted to give you guys an update, since everyone was so helpful. The girl and I are just friends, and we get along pretty well, which is nice, as you can never have too many good friends.

I went on a semi-blind date (knew what she looked like, but had never met.) last night. I decided to go to see Dane Cook in DC with her, which scored some pretty nice points. We had a really great time, show was great, though I know not all of you probably like his style.

As we were leaving, we bumped into a friend of hers, who was out with a guy friend. We got to the Metro station and it was so packed we decided to get some drinks. The other guy in the group decides he is buying us drinks, which is pretty damn cool.

So we talk in this place for a couple hours, and we really hit it off. Great time, great girl, can't wait to get together again.

Had great moment parting ways at the train. Unbelievable.

Thanks for your help guys.

if she is not in your face within two weeks, let it go ... it's a waste of time.

It's OK dude, cilantro can do that to a guy.  It happens to the best of us.

I knew Larry King would understand!  :hihi:  I was expecting so much more from cilantro!  That was so disappointing. 

I'm going to give red beans and rice a go tomorrow...any ideas?  We've never had the dish...I figured I'd make it during the early football game tomorrow.  Wish me luck, and if you have any ideas for what I can serve along with the red bean and rice, I'm all ears.   :peace:

P.S. to stay on topic of course,  GunnerOne84, glad the night out on the semi-blind date went well.  It's too bad GNR isn't rolling through right about now...now that would be one helluva date night.   :beer:

Hey, great to hear you met someone new!  Congrats!  Nice one with the Dane Cook, I bet she LOVED that, I know I would have! ;D

PS-Axl4Prez, do you have any nice, single and handsome relatives for me that love to cook as much as you do??????  I kid, I kid!

Just so you know, women are evil people.

Gotta throw my 2 cents in



Depends on what u want like everyone else has said.

If she is someone u want to Date and have a big time relationship with, Then dont do anything.


1. U don't want a girl who would cheat on her boyfriend, cause that usually signifies she'd cheat on u.? They are in college, so more than likely her current BF will do something to fuck shit up.


2. Do NOT GET IN THE FRIEND ZONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If she starts treating u like one of her girlfriends, or throws u into the gay companion role, U are fucked. So know when to hang out and when not to.


Here is a good idea, Risky but good


Next time she calls u to hang out, Tell her u have plans to go out on a date with a girl and that u will call her tomorrow.


that will get her to thinking "HOLY SHIT" I really like this guy and I may lose him.  Will get her out of the Having her cake and eating it mode where she has a guy she dates, and u for extra.

Could definitely change the situation for the good, unless u are in the friend zone and then she may be happy for u which would suck.





NOW THE OTHER SIDE

IF she is some chick u just want to hook up with, hang out with, crush a few times and not get serious with, I say FUCK THE GUY SHE IS WITH and do what u do with no regrets or guilt.?



Or u can get a girlfriend and then tell the girl u like that relationships are like Algebra. My Girlfriend cancels out your boyfriend, so it really isn't cheating. : ok:

Isn't this the dramatic bullshit girls do to guys?

Why stoop to that level?

Well D is a big girl,So.....

well, D told me just the other day that he almost got laid.

I asked, what happened.

D told me the girl's mom walked in.

I asked him, what did she say.

D replied "Baa".

So update. The girl and her boyfriend split up today. I knew something was up, she's been miss flirtatious the last 3 days towards me.

She's a little upset, and wants to talk about it.

Question is, how do I play this so I don't end up in the dreaded friend zone.

One word, Liquor.

Be straight up, man. Tell the girl you're into her, you like her, wanna see more but ask her what's the deal with the other guy? Maybe she just wants to have a bit of fun and hang out with a few guys. Maybe get with a few. She probably isn't ready for any big relationship or anything. When I started college I remember seeing a few girls here and there and by my 3rd year I decided to stay with one girl. We went out for about 3 years then. Just have fun, don't get too focused on relationships, you'll enjoy college life much better if you take things in your stride!

Haha, thats funny. She actually begged me to go out last night and get drunk but I have 20 page thesis due today and I couldn't go. What an idiot I was.

That's cool man, get your work done. If she's really interested she won't give up on you. If you give in too easy she'll walk all over you. She likes you, dude. You're laughing!!!

I'll tell you what, both me AND my brother gave up on work for people we loved, probably because both of us are incredible cretins !

Never give up on your work/studies and your friends for ANYONE.

Ever.

Capiche ?

Don't worry, school/work is first. I just knew I missed out on a good time.

And I was laughing at the Liquor comment.

i have no answer for that, it has happend to me? :-\


yeah you kinda were, because this can/will haunt you for years ?:-\


next time, do that^ yes? :hihi:


this guy is probably half right half wrong IMO.. don't ever start with telling her that you like her.. that will probably scare her.. ask what's with the other dude though, you can learn from that.. as he also said maybe she aint ready for a big relationship.. and to be honest do the whole relationship thing after school.. be serious in your school work and just see girls from time to time.. be a lil player hombre ;)? after college you can find the love of your life? :D

Yeah at this point, my whole goal is to just hang out with her. She told me she'd give me the whole run down about this guy later today, so I'll see where I stand from that.

We are supposed to be getting together later in the week to hang, so all systems are go for now.

And I'm not telling her anything just yet....gotta wait this out a little.

Be a little wary of the gal that wants to tell you her problems with other guys though.  That is usually a one way ticket to the "friends only" zone.  Just sayin.

I was thinking the exact thing. One way to remedy that is shag her face off! :rofl: ...then 'talk' about it.

It's funny, the biggest love of my life was also my best friend and we talked a lot of the past, both our pasts, and people attached to it, it never stopped us from being passionately in love and in lust.

we were confidents as well as the rest.

I have heard from quite a few female friends today that my best shot is to be there in the short term and listen and listen to her. If there is something there it should make itself readily apparent before too long. I am not exactly wishing to sit and wait for months on end for something to happen, I'd just like to see if it's already starting to be there. If it is great, if it isn't then on to the next.

All women lie!
But it's all good as long as you don't love them....

you're single aren't you? :hihi:

Show her this thread  ;D

No, I'm gay.  :-[

And that men you aren't single?

And men don't lie ?

How many married men ( married to women) happen to be in backrooms after they just made a call home to say they have a late afternoon meeting at work ? hmmm ?

but Jessica, they are men.  Remember, boys will be boys!  We have needs, remember? :hihi:  Just kidding.

LOL she would think i was mentally unstable I think if I showed her this. We'll see what happens. Not waiting around forever ya know?

The friend zone isnt always bad though cause sometimes that shit develops into true feelings.

SO don't feel too horrible if u get in the friend zone


The trick is to not stay in the friend zone.

If u ever hang out with her and she starts talkin bout how hot this guy or that guy is, U ARE FUCKED


so be there for her but try to get out of the friend zone as quick as possible once she spills to u what happened with her former douchebag.

Dude, whiskey is your answer. Try it, if it doesn't work ... oh well. move on to the next; she didn't deserve such good company anyway.

Just go for it.

Shit, it's not like getting a girl is  rocket science.

Here's what I did last weekend;
I saw a girl at a club, talked to her and v?ila she and her friend followed me home. And yes I did.

Not only that, but I also asked the waitress there when getting a beer, if she'd come over on saturday.

I left her sleeping at my place when I left for work. It turns out she has had a crush on me for some time.  : ok:

i'm not sure if you're like... "serious" about this girl, but if you are, then be friends with her for a while, and if she decides to move on to some other guy AGAIN, then obviously, she doesn't know what she wants or something...

if you're not so serious and just want some booty, then go for it...

I really wasn't wanting anything serious anytime soon, but if I were to start something with this girl, I feel like I would be pretty serious, which is why I'm trying to watch myself here.

I'm all for just playing around, but I would go elsewhere for that. I would prefer not to treat this girl that way.

This reminds me of how when you ask how many guys a girl has slept with, it's about 4-5, all serious relationships of course.? When you ask any guy, they're all up to triple digits.? It's as though there's a small group of a few hundred sluts floating around the world for all us guys to fuck, and the rest of the women are to bring home to mom when we're ready to settle down.

Believe it or not, but that 's not quite the reality.? All women have both sexual and emotional needs.? One guy's serious love interest was at one time (or rather several times) another guy's one night stand.? Guys who think otherwise are only setting themselves up for disappointment when the girl they've built up into the Virgin Mary inevitably hooks up with some random dude while out on a bender.

Bottom line, don't avoid trying to have sex with a girl just because you like her.? As crazy as it sounds, you're supposed to like the people you have sex with.

I just think it would be better to actually get to know a girl you're serious about before doing anything rash like that... but maybe im wrong O.o?

I agree with a lot of what you said. I am not trying to build her up into an angel, she probably isn't. Either way I don't really care. However, it's been my experience that you usually dont get a 2nd crack at your one night stands, because that's all either person was really looking for. I'd prefer to not fuck my chances up to just have sex with her, I can get that anywhere.

Then again.. if you stay in the friends and not best buddies, it's relatively easy to push the extra mile to get.. well.. laid.

Yet another question:

I got asked out by a girl I met about a week ago. She's very attractive, and seems to really have her shit together from what I can tell when we talk, which has become quite often.

She invited me to go ice skating out on the mall in DC at the outdoor rink they have there, I said yes because I'm into her and it doesn't sound half bad to me for a first date. She grew up figure skating, so she knows what she is doing, and I skated quite a bit growing up so it isn't as if I will like like an idiot here.

Just wondered if anyone had any tips for me on how to play this and not blow it. She's a pretty interesting girl and I'd like to see this go further if I could.

PS, the girl mentioned throughout this thread and I have become very good friends, which is cool. Just though I'd give everyone who helped me out there the final word on it.

Thanks.

GunnerOne84, here's my advice on how to play this.

don't play this.

I never understood the whole "game playing" deal.  Be yourself.  Get to know her and see if you have some things in common.  If it sounds like she has her sh!t together and you have the hotness as a bonus, what more could you ask for?

Signed,
Old Fuddy Duddy  :D 

It sounds cliche but why not just be yourself?

The thing about "playing" something is that more times than not you are playing a role that you may not really be.  If the girl asked you to do something she already likes you so just go with the flow!

Signed,

Miss Old Fuddy Duddy ;D

I don't plan on not being myself, I'm really not that good at acting differently than I am anyways. I'm just pretty nervous about going out with her, which is an uncommon thing for me to be with someone.

And we talk quite a bit now, we actually have a shitload of things in common, such as musical tastes, guitar playing, potential law students one day, she's really into history, which is my undergraduate major. So those things are nice.

Like I said, I'm a little out of my element here, and that can b a good thing. Just a tad shaky.

Thanks.

I don't think you sound like you are out of your element at all, you sound like you have lots of common ground and things to talk about with each other.  Even if you appear nervous in some way, women kind of like that.  Too confident and we think you are some kind of player.  I always am nervous as hell when I start to date someone new (no, this doesn't go away with age!) and then over time as you get to know each other that totally goes away.

Yeah we seem to have hit it off pretty well so far. I just didn't want to do anything stupid to mess it up. It's pretty rare that i meet anyone that matches so many interests of mine, let alone it being a girl i am attracted to. So it kind of jumped up the nervousness a little. I guess we'll see how it goes thursday.

That is indeed really crazy... :confused:

I was friends with my wife for a year before we began to date.

In fact, most girls I dated, I had as friends long before we crossed the line into anything else.

Also, all my ex's remain friends with me to this day. Probably for that reason (friends first before dating.)



That's about all the advise you really need.

This is the first time I'm dating a friend.. I've kept 'em in I won't date 'em category, since I fear having that kinda relationship with a girl ruins the friendship if things go bad.

However things are going pretty smoothly, she don't even got a problem that I've slept with most of her friends. Hell, she's even had the pre-work done for me when I join her and her friends in some bar.

Since I'm made lyrics about it.

I have seen this before
And it's alright
I'm not alone
I just don't love her anymore
and she's here 'cause I need a friend, 'cause I need someone

Last night a girl was in my arms
And I barely knew her, yeah, I slipped again
And our names were vain
And It's not my whole life
It's only one day

I have seen this before
And it's alright
I'm not alone
and now you're here 'cause I still need a friend

And you knew this would happen
And it's okay,
We won't be alone for long
I kiss you as a courtesy before you fall
And it's okay
We won't be alone
And you knew this would happen
You just didn't think it would be now
It'll be alright
We're both after love.

So just to let Bandita know, since she was so helpful leading up to today,

I got stood up today. That was a first.

The girl stood u up for your ice skating date??


DAMN!!!!


Don't overreact, maybe something happened.

If she doesn't call u though, thats messed up.

what was her reason?

That was all our fault.  We were so excited for you, in true sit-com fashion, we all got together and went to the ice skating rink with signs rooting you on.  She got a bit spooked when she saw us all hanging around like the throngs of folks in the Verizon commercials!   :hihi:

Seriously, I'm sure there's a logical explanation. 

btw, I would also agree that nerves are a good thing.  If you're not a little nervous I'd say you might be over-confident.

good luck! :peace:

I haven't talked to her yet. I'm really not freaking out or anything, just more surprised than anything else. Considering the conversations we have had, it just didn't seem like something she'd do. So I'll wait a little while to see if i get a call or anything.

Ouch, that isn't cool.  Hopefully she has a decent reason but even so, standing someone up and not letting them know you cannot make it is just rude.  It takes less than a minute to make a call/send a text/send an e-mail.  I'm not sure I would even want to be friends with someone who behaves that way.  Unless of course there are extreme circumstances as to why it happened.

Unless she had an emergency, I'm not really interested in hearing her excuses. I'm not really broken up about it, just more offended. It was a slap in the face, and I'm over it. On to the next as far as I'm concerned.

fuck yeah dude! and when you find the next one, come back to this thread and tell :D

That is the spirit. Might I suggest a bottle of "good" Ky. whiskey.

Fuck her, she wasn't worth your time anyway.

Hookers are far less complicated.

So my advice would be, get a good job.

Women are bitches.

I got stood up once. So the next time we talked I said yes when she asked me to a bar with her.

I loved the look on her face when I took some blond girl home.

This, sir, is classic. Well Done.

This is probably the healthiest advice for most people....unfortunately, this option is way too boring.....

For some strange reason people prefer drama to boredom in their lives..... :confused:

Unless there is a death in the family, I would not accept any excuse. If you do, you are letting her set the standard to treat you like shit from that point on.

Too many fish in the sea, no need to put up with anybodies bullshit.

I certainly didn't accept any drama or excuses. I moved on. I had a date tonight that went very very well (with an older girl no less, which is something I've always been into) and I have a date with another girl lined up for next week.

Haven't typically done this before, and I don't really feel comfortable with talking/going out with two girls concurrently, but I figured one choice would make itself apparent to me fairly quickly. Certainly won't string anybody along.

Should be seeing the girl I went out with tonight again this weekend. We hit it of really well.

I was wondering does anyone become like this;

When I'm single I long for someone and thus bring a different girl home every weekend, sometimes it's someone on friday and someone else on saturday.

In the end I don't think it's that special and I can't relate/believe with guys who have maybe one or two sex partners a year. For me that might be a week. And a girl started lecturing me for that, that I'm an asshole. I think she got some failure to communicate. And when I look back at when I was at my worst (or best)? my life was some sort of drunken dormancy with every weekend's a new party.

So when I get what I want again and again and really almost every girl is gettable. There's a little game I play with friends, or maybe I'm just wainting to show off. So I point out which girl I nail.. and it has worked, say five times in a row now.

Ayway scoring different chicks and dealing with their emotional baggage got old so I did what might be a mistake (we'll see) and scored a friend.

I said two years ago to another friend I'll do her someday and the one I'm seeing, well, she said she knew this would happen.

So, if she's at my house when I'm at work she does some cleaning etc. which is something new since my ex just slept day in and day out. She seems to genuinely care about me. She ain't too jealous and how could she when I've done both of her best friends.

Usually jealously is.. well I like to talk I flirt at both my jobs, it's just the way I am, so there'd be trouble if the girl is too jealous.

and I know
GIRLS = TROUBLE.

The problem is; when she say she really really likes me.
It makes me freak out.
Being in a relationship freaks me out. And in my dreams I want a real relationship with someone, with kids.

Why then is the road I'm at freaking me out?

I'd say you're insecure about your ability to function in that particular setting. You know, responsibility, caring :hihi:

I can only say what it felt like for me in a similar situation. When you're just doing short time flings you seldom achieve that emotional connection. Same goes when you're in a bad relationship.

But when somebody suddenly starts to treat you real nice, starts to care for you, then you freak out because you know you'll probably not be able to return the favor long term. You fear hurting someone that cares so much about you. That's why your brain subconsciously tells you to freak out because it's trying to protect you from future heartbreak.

A guy like you probably also know how loose women can be, so that becomes an aspect to. Do you want to commit your emotions to a girl you know probably will deceive you later on? Isn't that exactly why you're out doing 2 girls a week in the first place?

In my experience the need to fuck a lot of women always comes from some deep issue you haven't figured out/is not aware of.

I mean, aside from the thrill of something new, what do you achieve besides going around telling your environment and yourself "look at me, I'm such a bull. I'm a success"?

Polluxlm are you a shrink?!

I think you summed this far better than mine did.. he actually told me to go walk in the nature. I don't know what that would help.

The women I have (use) well I get a moment peace and satisfaction and prove my old man wrong, my childhood wasn't a pretty one and I still got blanks of times I don't remeber, it doesn't really matter nor do I care. Physical pain heals after all.

It was the ammount of mindfuck that I guess have lead to my "success" with women and my need for perfection. Since there was always something wrong if you asked him.

So if I plan to nail girls, I might as well be good at it.

So with his mindfuck tactics my stepdad branded my brain with a thought of I won't be loved by anyone, so it kinda turned the way that every girl was one more way to prove him wrong, or prove that he's more wrong. Or another price for me. Or just another way to show I was in control.

Things changed somewhat, before our group (we had this "realplayers-club with scoreboards and stuff) kinda competed who nailed the most girls a year and it was always a close competition (not that anyone dumped a girl or cheated on his gf just to win, some just cheated). But I stopped bosting about to my friends and they didn't need to ask. Sure we laugh about it WHEN they ask.

I feel I've lost touch with reality when in a relationship. We had a party once and a girl asked me to touch her breasts and later I thought the girl I'm seeing would've had every right to be pissed. It just felt it was the normal thing to do.

You're right about the emotions part, I guess I could say the new day, new girl mentality, is my armor and weapon of self-destruction the same time.

i say, if you continue to see her, just be there for her, be the guy who picks up the peices when it goes wrong, just try and be there for her, but dont do it too much, because if her relationship failed, and you suggested you 2 getting together, she will just turn round and say "were too good friends for that"

been there before and it kills me  :no:

i'v meddled io a few relationships, and i just get in trouble for it, noteably once i was put in hospital for it  :rofl:

i suppose, its matters if she feels the same, and how strongly she feels about you.

Found One. Found a really, really good one.

^Do tell.  ;)

Just ended up meeting a very nice, very pretty girl. 1 year younger than me. We've clicked amazingly well and things are progressing nicely. She is very different from the usual girls I meet in college and that was the first attraction. She's also been all over the world and loves to travel, which is one of my interests as well.

That and she found I was into GNR, and took upon herself to go listen to all the deeper album songs that most people don't know just to get an insight into why I liked them. Best part is she really loved the music and wants to go see them if they tour again anytime soon here. She even dug Coma, which was nice.

Dude, if she really digs Coma, then you are set for life with this girl...
Good luck!

That's awesome that she is a fellow fan!  Best of luck! ;D

Well, I guess she is a new fan. She has SCOM and PC on her iTunes, but doesn't know the other stuff. She is doing her part though by seeking out some other songs that most casual listeners wouldn't know. Just her trying to take an interest in something I like that she doesn't know much about is a big deal to me.

Thanks for your help, and hopefully this will end up being something that lasts. I know I want it to.

man this sounds awesome, i'm sitting here in sweden smiling for ya dude :hihi: ;D :beer: