Here Today... Gone To Hell!

Ok folks. I must urine test for one year and like to smoke Mary Jane. I can't drink either so don't tell me to start drinking. And don't tell me to quit cause I need some kind of stress management - can't afford rehab, can't take time off, and normally I use to fall asleep at night. Also, I don't know if this thread will be deleted because of what I am asking.

What are the best products to use a week or a few days in advance of a urine drug test for THC? If anyone has website links or suggestions cheaper than $50, bring them on!!!!!!!! Most of the stuff I see is really expensive and I would invest if it was only a one time deal but I have twelve months to go... :P

Any and all recommendations welcome...

Once I flushed for 12 hours and it didn't work. If you were a man, I would suggest the "wizzinator". I know someone who used one of those for a couple of years successfully.

You're in luck.  My THC-free urine is on sale this week for only $49/oz.

People really do that too, buy other peoples pee.

I'll PM you.

I can't buy fake urine - there is a woman that sits in the bathroom with me watching so I don't pull any fast ones. Talk about pissing under pressure.  :hihi: Believe me, I've had friends who brought a microwave into a hotel next to a drug testing facility and microwaved their own piss - supposed to work but I think the drug testers have caught on. Besides, I'd be so pissed, excuse the pun, if the clean stuff busted before I got to the test, the only reason I say this is because I am the ultimate klutz.

Definitely PM me if you want to discuss off-line. Cool.

"Wizzinator", tell me that wasn't D's Dungeon and Dragons name back in the day.

it was , He still uses it from time to time.

Mainly when he is trying to pick up chicks .........

That is outrageous, I never charged over $10 for mine.

Mine comes with a license permitting you to spread my pee throughout your neigborhood.  When the mutts in your town know you're in with me, they will love you.  Don't ask me why.

You didn't, perhaps, buy your license from "Bud Fox Laboratories" did you?

Has anyone ever heard of Strip or All Natural Items Quickie pills? Strip is supposed to be taken day of and I heard the quickie thing masks for 5 hours so you must take the stuff in time with the test.

Usually when those things come out, the labs find what the new metabolite is relatively quikly.

If you don't mind a self-catheter (sticking a tube into your urethra and injecting someone else's clean urine into yours) so that you can pass your test, go right ahead.

Someone mentioned the Whizzinator made famous by ex-Minnesota Vikings running back Onterrio Smith.  God, what a douche.  :)

BTW, I'll sell you my piss for much cheaper than GeorgeSteeles, and unlike him, I can guarantee no STDs...it'll just smell like f'ing cilantro.    :D

He ruined it for everyone. He should have just admitted to owning a "strap on".

watch harsh times with christian bale, you'll find some tips on it 

ah, just found a youtube link

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2IcE__UfhI

goodluck  :hihi:

ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

omg the subjects people talk about.but i know what you mean about smokin.it helps alot of things.me it's anger managment therapy really.

^you should have seen some of the PMs.

Zydot
http://www.zydot.com/

My Dad used it once for a UA at Red Rooster, an auto parts store and at Sears. Passed 'em both, but didn't take the job. Hah. Or, there is a store 'round here that sells Vale, another thing like Zydot. About 9 years ago, Zydot was like 39.95 locally, and yesterday Vale was 19.99 locally.

Just check out local head shops n' you'll find something, I'd prefer Zydot though, I know it works. Smokin' about 2 ounces a week, and being able to pass, I'd say it works.

It is "water under the bridge". Let it go.

No I don't. I have never even acknowledged you on this board. Let it go. It will be better for the both of us.

recently widowed

Can't you bicker elsewhere?

Now their is no fun in that.

That is what the internet is for. Mindless pissing and moaning.

yeah me too,i know the feelin.

I did not know that, sorry.

My friend just lost his wife of 20 years suddenly last Christmas.

He had a bad run of it: First his cat died (no children/pet lover), then his MIL died, then his wife, all within about 2.5 months.

How did you guys get into PM'ing each other? Did something from this topic spur something?

Actually, I think they should prescribe more for medicinal purposes and not all these drugs with side effects. Sure, there are side effects to smoking too but I believe it would be much cheaper and put some farmers in business versus drug companies. Although they say the medicinal stuff is very weak. I would probably be smokin oregano cause I have developed a tolerance. But I know many people who use as a management for all different types of ailments.

Sorry to all who have been widowed. It seems like you gentlemen are quite young. So sad to see people go at a young age and the people left to carry on. Hope this board provides a welcome distraction. And it seems like the arguing or fighting that you might miss. ;D

Thanks dude! That is way more up my alley than buying piss or sticking a catheter up my crotch!

Exactly...hopefully you'll pass. I know I've done a few in my day lol.

Well one is crazy, and the other is fuckin crazy...

wait they must be the same person. :o :o

Despite the fact that they both spell "crazy" with a "c", they are two totally different people.

Amazing ain't it?

noway !!!! that is way to big of a thing just to be a co-incedents.

Subtlety can be such a waste. Often, its only saving grace is that it slightly amuses the architects and the few people who appreciate it.


...and the other one seemingly needs a translation of bippity, boppity boo...

Tell 'em, Steve-Dave!

Well one is a coincidence, while the other is a codependent.

You've always been afraid of me. You still are. But fear's no longer a mitigating factor. Why? Loyalty? Idealism? Opportunism? Herd mentality?

Give me a serious answer. Don't worry about what your buddy thinks. He wouldn't understand anyway.

I promise I won't go after you. I'm leaving soon and with a fizzle. So in the classic sense of what's always kept you in line, apply the opposite. This time, you have nothing to lose.

Your arrogance and narcissism knows no bound, have you no shame?

Shut the fuck up already. All of you.

This little he said, she said game you guys are having is ridiculous.



/jarmo

It becomes more than a game, Jarmo when a person takes things beyond the sphere of this site and begins to terrorize another. And what's truly ridiculous is that you so readily condone it.

Your inaction leads only to one inescapable conclusion - that absolute tyranny pervades this forum and is given all the elbow room it needs to flourish. A banner, sadly, that I can't stand behind.

Were the circumstances different, no doubt I'd stay. And win. But not this time. It's off to better days for me, greener pastures as it were.

In support of Sterling I bow not to malicious bullying, but to a broader picture. One with a scope that transcends the injustice that occured here.

Remember to keep a keen eye on SLCPUNK. Since its inception, this site has seen no worse.

As for the man himself, I have a few words.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyberstalking

In the future, take care to avoid accusations that paint a perfect portrait of yourself. It's a misstep that makes an already absurd polemic look even worse.

To be clear, I'm not leaving out of fear. I'm leaving because I refuse to take things beyond this message board. And because my hands are tied in even that regard, I've no other recourse.

After taking the high road, here's laughing at you, chump... ;)

See y'all on the published side.

hope you packed your tongue condom! cya :peace:take care :)

Do you guys have a keyboard or something you carve notches in?  Shit, soon this place will be just like the TFHL and you guys can tell fart jokes all day.

Fuck you.


Really. I asked all of you to stop. You just kept going on and on while writing these "English home work" types of posts about how poor you (the victim) are treated.

Big words don't impress me.

You couldn't get to the fucking point, just went on and on.






/jarmo

Excuse me? (http://youtube.com/watch?v=NEr_Qqkswyc&mode=related&search=)

What about alcohol?

How long does it stay in the system?

Can I flush it out with copious amounts of water and orange juice?

Time.

Water does speed up the metabolism though.

Are you getting tested for alcohol???

Well duder, I've been getting gassed almost every night for a month now.

I ask because I just got a job and they test for everything.   :-\

Kinda worried.

You'll be fine. Just don't drink the day before. I'd also be surprised if they drinking for tested...hiccup!  ;D

In my younger days, I was hired for a job that required a drug test. True to the doped up moron I had been for years prior, I continued my late night/early morning shenanigans-drug test be damned. The night before I consumed enough drugs to kill a small farm animal. I never went to sleep that night, and took the bus to the test site where I proceeded to provide them with a pristine specimen from a 100 percent dope fiend.

A week later I got a call from my employer telling me that I had passed the drug test and providing me with a start date.  :hihi:



Actually, the more I think about it, the best way to flush alcohol out of the system is by smoking lots of weed.




Yea, please, no fart jokes here. We don't want to take it down to that level, ok?

Years ago I had to give a UA, and after using for days, I passed the thing. I've failed my share of them too though.

Is he gone? I was so scared.