Here Today... Gone To Hell!

I need to vent a little bit tonight.  I went out with this guy I met online.  We went out three times and I thought there was some chemistry there.  After our second date he kissed me in his car, and then three days later, we go to a movie, and when he drops me off, he says he "doesn't think this is going to work out."  Then he said something about it was such a shame because we looked so good on paper.  I have no idea what happened between Saturday when he kissed me and said he wanted to see me again and last night when he decided he didn't want to see me anymore.  I'm just so confused.
Comments and bad dating stories are all welcome.  I'm just sick of it.  I don't understand men at all. 

Theres plenty of fish in the sea  : ok:

I wouldn't worry about it.

You know, it actually is better ?this way. At least he was being (semi) honest. It is better than leading you on, just to get you in ?bed and then say, "you know, you're really not my type. Oh, by the ?way, I have herpes."

I don't know how ?old ?you are, but these things happen, especially with internet dating. Don't take ?it personally. If ?it ?was ?meant ?to be ?it would happen. Just be yourself and be honest ?about who you are, and eventually someone ?will love you for who you are. It's hard when you are alone and don't want ?to be, but you have ?to hand in there. Men are ?weird and we ?are wired ?differently. Some have "wires" that seem not to be connected at all.

I also read an article ?the other ?day that indicated ?that men frequent the "free" online dating services more, whereas women are more ?willing to invest ?a ?little and get ?get ?more quality. So it might make sense to pay $40 for eharmony or whatever ?it is called that ?has a 40 point compatibility test to see ?that the people ?you meet ?are intellectually and ?emotionally compatible.

This past Valentine's Day I went out with my (then) girlfriend. We had wine, a lovely diner, I told her how much I loved her, and before we said good-bye I kissed her goodnight. Walking home I felt like I was on top of the world.

A week later she breaks up with me because she "doesn't have time for anyone" and "can't be a good girlfriend" to me...

I don't know. Maybe some people are just afraid of getting close. Or maybe in your case he didn't get you in the sack fast enough and thought it would take too long to seal the deal.

Better luck next time.

We met on match.com, so we were both paying for the service.  I know intellectually it isn't personal, and that it doesn't really have anything to do with me.  I'm just disappointed.  I'm 28 years old, and haven't dated much at all.  I hear all these people talking about being happy even when you're alone, or the best way to meet someone is when you're not looking.  A lot of that Law of Attraction stuff, but it just sucks to be alone.  It really sucks. 

I hear ya.

See who else you can find on match.com. i wouldn't give up just because of one bad experience.

Yeah people should stick to meeting people in clubs and bars, those relationships always last.. ::)


Internet didnt have anything to do with it, they went out 3 times, so therefore it ceases to be internet dating.

Maybe the longer he hung around her, the more he realized they didn't have much in common, maybe she annoyed him, maybe she didnt talk enough or she talked too much.
Dont blame it on "Net Dating"

You are right about that. ?At least this way I won't be waiting by the phone agonizing over his not calling. ?For the most part I keep it together when I'm single. ?I get used to being alone (even though it sucks and I hate it), but then I meet someone, I get my hopes up over the promise of some companionship, and then when it doesn't materialize I feel so let down.

Sounds like an ass, you are better off without him.

In my experience, dating has little to do with being "good on paper."  The problem with the net is that people who supposedly "match" get together and then are surprised when one (or both) isn't physically attracted to the other.  If he wasn't interested, then it means he's just not attracted to you.  Don't take it personally.  We all have our individual preferences.  That's all there is to it. 

Maybe she had a booger hanging off her nose on there last date ?

The WORST thing you can do is drink...

Try jogging.

No I didn't. ?BELIEVE ME, I check those things and make sure I don't sneeze on dates.

U get stoned and drink........... Maybe he isnt into that which is why he didnt wanna go out anymore?

If I were with a girl I just met and she let it slip that she gets high and drunk, I wouldn't go out with her either.



Richard is dead on, Nothing beats jogging! : ok:

Bad knees.

No, he doesn't know I get high.  And I rarely drink.  I said I WANTED to.

I wasn't, and you miss my point 100%.
But whatever, the point is not to argue with you, but to console ?a person who has ?asked ?for advice and support. ?
So let's just drop it and not turn it into something ?else; let's try to help the person ?who asked ?for support. OK?

I know from experience that it helps (temporarily) to drink. It kills the pain and loneliness and makes you feel nothing...but it doesn't solve anything. I know this is all terribly obvious, but it's true. I'd talk to some friends and or family. I'm sure that there are tons of other decent guys that would like to meet you. Don't let one jerk have this power over you. 

Damn!  I don't think a guy telling you it won't work out after three dates makes him a jerk.  Hell, there are plenty of guys who'd probably feel that, despite the prospects of the relationship failing, they'd at least laid the ground work for some action.  Given his feelings, sounds to me like he did the decent thing.

That said, it does suck to get your hopes dashed, but it's the nature of the game.

Never drink and get high. Losers get drunk and high cause they cant deal with disappointment.

U will be better off in the long run by dealing with stuff naturally, experiencing all the emotions in life make u a better and stronger person.


The way I always looked at dating was:

The more wrong ones u find, the closer u are to the Right one.

It will happen but it takes time and perseverance plus not settling for good enough.


I met my fiancee Via Internet this forum actually and we never argue or fight and we've been together almost 3 years.

So love does exist, u just have to be strong enough to get through the bad ones to find it.

Dont become Jaded or dependent on Alcohol and drugs everytime life gets u down. U will find yourself stuck in the same rut never to get out of it.

U have to learn to rid yourself of unnecessary baggage so u dont drag it into other relationships or miss a great opportunity by feeling sorry for yourself with drugs and drink.

This whole TV notion is that you go out with ?someone and fall in love is bs. The reality is that dating does suck, and you may find the ratio is 1:15. 1:25 or even 1:50 before you find the person who is ?right for you. But when you do, all the bad ?experiences ?go away and it ?is ?sooooo worth it. So just ?hang in there. Something good will happen if you don't take it ?personally and don't get down on yourself ?(which is easier said than done).

first of all, i'm not some junkie drunk just because i said i wanted to do it.  and i smoke weed primarily for my severe nerve damage.  and if i drink 3 times a year, that's a lot for me.  i was saying how i felt.

It does sound like he kind of led her on though...

Why kiss her on the second date and then want to go out again?

I don't think he's a jerk.  I think he's a genuinely nice guy.  I wish he WAS a jerk, then I'd be lucky to be rid of him.

Who knows?  Maybe there just wasn't anything in that kiss, for him?  Maybe something else happened, and he couldn't get involved at that time?  I don't think three dates is leading someone on.  Certainly more than one bad date, but I'm going to assume that she's a cool and interesting enough person that it took him longer to realize it wasn't a good fit. 


Yeah, it's always easier when it feels like you're better off without someone. 

I do realize I only went out with this guy three times. ?I'm not upset, like it was a relationship that broke up. ?Like I said, I'm just disappointed. ?I'm not sad over the loss of HIM. ?I'm sad about being alone. ?I don't like getting my hopes up. ?And I'm not mad at this guy... I'm just confused.

I think RichardNixon and Natasha23 should get together and go bowling. ?: ok:

Go listen to some Beatles. Always makes me feel a little less blue.

I could tell you stories....Unbelievable ?stuff.

The point is, it happens in life. Disappointment happens. You move on. Don't over-analyze or over-criticize yourself.

I actually don't over-analyse myself.  I over-analyze the other person. 
I know I'll move on.  In my last relationship when my boyfriend left me to go into the military, I couldn't believe the amount of pain I was in.  I felt like I couldn't breathe it hurt so badly.  But eventually I moved on and I get used to being single. 
You know what I think it is... I think it's the disruption in my routine.  I like knowing what to expect and when something changes that (for good or for bad) I get rattled and thrown off course.  I don't like feeling out of control.

Well, don't take it personally.  Hey, maybe he's ultra picky?  Ya never know.

I'm not sure what the "best" way is to meet people.  It certainly isn't a bar, most of the time.  A good way to meet people you'll click with would be to pursue your own interests, and meet the guys doing those things too.  If you like to ski, look for a guy on the slopes.  If you like to read, go to a reading or book signing or something.  I'd also say that you can't wait back for it to happen.  Approach people, talk to them...if you're doing something you both find interesting, and you find him physically attractive, then that's a good start!  And don't get depressed by failure.  Better to fail early (after a few dates) than late (after, say, 5 years), right?

You're right.  Intellectually I know the best way to meet people is to really get excited and into your own life, and what you're doing.

Like I said, this guy was a nice guy.  I'm confused because I misread the signals and I felt blindsided. 

Sometimes people use signals in ways we don't expect.  While him kissing you might have indicated to you that he was really attracted, to him it might have been a way to find out if he was really attracted.  Let's face it...men and women are different beasts, more often that not, and they just approach things in different ways. 

He caught me off guard when he kissed me.  He just leaned it and did it.  I didn't get a chance to bring my A-Game.   ;)

PLENTY of chicks do the same thing.  In my single days I'd have amazing first dates/second dates and then get totally blown off.  I've done the same to my share of girls too.  It works both ways.  I doubt anyone is ever the dumper 100% of the time.

One big drawback to online dating through dating sites is that you can't honestly expect someone to JUST be talking to you, there are way to many people on those sites.  Thats why its a good idea to talk to a lot of different people and don't put all your eggs in one basket.

BINGO Hanna

I think he hit it on the head.

This guy probably saw some more profiles and was talkin to a couple other chicks and decided to try another one out.

Dont everyone hate on men though. I give the guy respect for at least being honest to u in person.

He couldve met another chick and tried to see u both at the same time.

I feel sorry for people who do not drink. When they wake up in the morning it is as good as they are going to feel all day.

- Frank Sinatra

 :P

not if u run! : ok:

Oh, fuck off!  How would you know!   :hihi:

a real asshole would have had sex with you first then broke it off...sounds like he just wasnt that into it...seems like he did an admirable thing...even though it pissed you off...which you have every right to be pissed...

25 to 30 miles a week, thats how! : ok:

I understand why your pissed off, i'm 30 now and as much as in the text book its nice to "be happy within yourself" and not need a relationship to be happy, the fact is tbat we're as socialble species and we're pretty much hardwired to want relationships with others...

I'm kind of amazed how so many people posting to this thread think that I think this guy is an asshole.  I don't.  I never said he was an asshole or a jerk.  I just said I was bummed about the situation. 
I could have asked him why, but I didn't.  I knew I didn't need to hear that from him because it wouldn't have benefited me at all. 
Also, I never took it personally.  Whatever's going on in his head, I know it has nothing to do with me. 
My point is -- being single sucks (in my opinion).

I must disagree. Being single is the best.

Really? Have you done it for long periods? I find its fun for a bit then gets VERY old...but maybe i'm just sappy....

Being single is not a bad thing necessarily. ( I'm married so I look fondly back at my single days!)

When things are right and it was meant to be, things work  out for a reason.

It's not about being single, it's about being alone, because those are two very different things.  And I guess we all want what we don't have. 

whats your match.com profile?

I hate that i have been "on/off" in love with my best girlfriend for like 3 or 4 years now and that her boyfriend is a cheating player :rant: :no:

I dunno know about anyone else, but I think all these compatibility test are useless. I couldn't care less if a chick has 100% or 5% the same interests as me. If she don't I'll just change her (like now I'm trying to teach my gf to be my cleaning slave around the house. I think I getting there, she fetch beer all ready  : ok:)

Now if the girls smoking hot and knows how to treat me we're getting along fine.
I'll even throw her a few extra points if she's not a complete tool.

D, are still upset when you had a few too many at my place and we stick your cellphone up your ass and called it, you made funny noises with the vibration on. Oh, and we took some dirty pictures, too before urinating on you.

There's nothing wrong with drinking D.


It's just a kiss. For christs sake; I've given a girl a kiss before I told them goodbye.

I tried online dating a couple of times and some things puzzle me. Why do a profile without a pic?
My conclusions; The person is
a) hideous
b) D
c) your mom
or
d) some 50 years old fat trucker who's having some fun with ya.

Now even if it would be option a) is the hideous girls gameplan to seduce me with her inner beauty so I wouldn't run off or make her wear a bag over her head?

And no, I haven't waken up next to some fat single mom even at my worst drunken nights.

Then again I don't know how the girls have felt when I've woken up at their place, nor do I care, as long as they make me coffee and give me a re-run if I feel like it.


Btw, if you're tired or out of money to score a chick from the bar, try internet dating-lotto

The rules are simple; place a bet with your friend an the one who scores first win!

Oh, and no fat chicks.

The whole thing was just very weird -- acting interested one day and then being weird the next.? On our second date he kissed me in his car, and we weren't even having a romantic moment.? He just leaned in and kissed me, and completely caught me off guard.? Then 3 days later he calls me 2 hours before he wants to take me to a movie.? We go to the movie and he has his arms crossed the entire time, in a real hostile way.?
Like I said before, I don't take responsibility for what's going on in his head, and I don't think he's a jerk because of it.? It just seems odd to me.?

How about being friends with fat chicks?  ;)

That does sound wierd...i wonder if he had another girl he is interested in and was seeing you to try and convince himself he was over her or something like that, hense going through the motions but with some reluctance..

That could be the case... I don't know.  Looking back on it, he definitely didn't take the chance to really find out anything about me - I would ask him a question, and he'd answer, but then nothing.  Usually, the other person will ask you the same, but he didn't do that.  He liked to show off his knowledge about obscure films and books and artists, which was sort of interesting but I felt like he was leaving me out of the conversation, and it was only the two of us talking.  Talking AT me, not TO me. 

yeah doesnt sound like you guys were really clicking so to speak, so your probably not missing all that much in his case. But i know what u mean about being alone...its old...