Here Today... Gone To Hell!

OK, I'm really really sorry for being so negative, but I really need to say all this...

OK, recently on the phone my BF has been relatively cold to me, and a break up has been on the cards for a while, and it'll probably come to an end soon...

Anyway, he called me today, and he was crying, and telling me how much he loved me and how I'm way too good for him... and that just made me cry and tell him the same thing... and then he told me that he really really felt like shit.
He said that when he went out the other night with his friends, he kissed a girl. That was it, but he still kissed her. He said that it was because he knows us two aren't gunna be together much longer and he thought that if he did it, he somehow wouldn't have to be alone after we split... but it didn't work.
He said he felt absolutely no emotion in the kiss whatsoever, and went home that night (alone, he can't even remember the girl's name) thinking "What the fuck have I done? Why did I do that!?" and he's been feeling like shit ever since.
He's got such a conscience, and he feels so awful about it. The good thing is that he knows for certain that he'll never ever do anything of the kind ever again, and that he can't understand all these people who cheat on their partners and have affairs.

I still love him, and I forgive him, but I'm still upset... I have this weird physical feeling... its a bit like a deadened version of pins and needles... like pins and needles WANTS to happen, but my skin seems to have gone numb... and I'm all shaky, and my stomach hurts (although that might just be from crying)... I'm really hurt by this, and I know this is awful to say, but I feel better knowing that he feels bad for doing it...   :-[

Another bad thing he said is that... he's coming over on Monday, but he said that... well... he said he doesn't want to because he needs time to get past this, but he's coming over anyway for me...
I hope that when he does come over I can somehow make him feel better about all this... because really I do forgive him because he told me. He told me and he was crying. His honesty really is one of his best qualities... yea it hurts to know that he did that... and I think that's giving me this horrible pins and needles type thing...

I would really appreciate it if you guys could help me out... anyone got any spare shoulders for me to cry on?  :'(

Hey... Sorry to hear this... but when I was with you both I got the impression your a very strong couple... He told you about this and was honest.. and you know how upset he was that he did this to you... It still must really kill for you... but you gotta look at positive things..

You two go great together and I really hope you stand by eachother for this and rebuild a stronger relationship... You guys both rock  :love:

Dan

maybe he lied and he actually banged another chick !?

Well youre a fucking great help aint ya :no:


If you two are strong enough and love each other enough it will work out but if either one of you isnt happy then you are both young enough to move on especially as you havent tied yourselves down with commitments. The only way to resolve things is to talk i found this out too late myself. So talk be honest be brutal if needed and see where it takes you, best of luck  : ok: 

Let me know if you want to talk.. i'm always here  :)

sorry to hear this, now dont freak by what im guna say, obviously i dont know whats gone on between you 2 etc etc, but im with a girl who did exactly the same thing, things were great between us and then she did that when she was drunk, just a kiss, iv forgive her, but things have never been the same since, it just feels to me like we are together for the sake of not being alone, its a horrible state to be in..... i wish i ended it while i had the chance,

but now she is still madly in love and i am not it feels like i dont knwo her, we never recovered from that moment, if you want my advice.....break up, it is less painfull than holding out trying to make it work!

but like i said i dont know nothing about you two

hope whatever you do makes ya happy? : ok:

Thanks guys! You're all great (except for you WAT-EVER... where do you get off!?) and your advice is very well taken!


Hehe thanks a lot man, and yea I'm trying to see the positive side in all this to try and come out stronger on the other side... hopefully with him by my side! And I might have to take you up on your offer of talking some time... when it gets tough...


Well whatever happens I'm gunna try my fuckin' hardest to work this out and stay strong. We're staying together for the time being... to see how it goes, and I'm gunna do everything I can to help him as well because in all honesty I think this has been harder on him than it has on me... he's an INCREDIBLY honest person, and its the first time he's ever done anything like this... but at least he knows now that he can't do it again! I'm drumming it into his head that he's just gone through a learning experience, one that will make him stronger if he can get through it. And if I can get through it as well then I'll also be stronger.


I'm not gunna freak out at what you said... but for the moment I'm gunna try and work through this to ease the pain... and also try to help him out too because TBH he seems more affected by this than me... he just feels really terrible for doing it in the first place... and I'm gunna help him get through it because he needs it. Without it, he'll spiral down into a world of depression. He's already depressed, and I'm not gunna make it worse for him... he's had bad experiences in the past with GFs, and I'm gunna do my darndest to make sure that IF we end up breaking up, we stay friends and that we always love each other. I know I'll always love him, and he's said to me countless times that he'll always love me... so hopefully everything will work out well. :)


Thankyou everyone for your advice!!! You're all brilliant! (except... like I said before... WAT-EVER (what's his problem anyway?))

Hi hun, I'm gonna be honest because I believe that's the only kind of advice that's of any use okay ?Now you know I've had my own problems lately so you also know that I can honestly say I know how upset you are right now. One thing that is troubling me with what you say is that you want to make him feel better because he feels like shit. ?Well, so he should love. ?He should feel like shit and it's not a bad thing that he does. ?I dont think you should be making him feel better it should be him proving that he wont do anything like that again. ?You also said that a break up has been on the cards for a while now, maybe the relationship has just run its course. ?It may be better for you both to take a break from each other for a while and try to see how you really feel. ?It is real hard to understand your feelings for someone when you are in the relationship, sometimes a step back makes the view a whole lot clearer. ?I'm not saying you should permenantly split with him but maybe some 'time off' might help right now. ?I certainly wouldnt be doing the 'there there, never mind' routine, let him feel like shit it will do him good. ?At the end of the day you've got to do what is right for you but, from experience I know that if you tolerate any degree of cheating even once, its like a free ticket to further 'ofending' especially if you seem to come across all understanding. ?Let him see how much he has hurt you and make him understand that if he loves you and is with you then with YOU and you alone is how it must be. ?Best of luck, take care.

good luck  : ok: : ok: : ok:

Aww thanks PTU... I definitely see where you're coming from... he knows how much he's hurt me though, that's what is hurting him... because he know's he's hurt me and he really feels terrible...
I'm not doing the "there there nevermind" thing though ... I'm doing the, "well now you know how shit you feel so you won't ever do it again" thing.
Don't get me wrong, I'm glad that he feels guilt! I'm glad about that! Obviously I'd rather he hadn't have done it at all, but it has happened, and he's not ever done anything like it before, and he never will.

If someone makes a mistake once, and they feel utterly shit about it, then they should be forgiven... TWICE however, extreme anger and not so quick to forgive. Three times, NO WAY!

I do still love him, and he still loves me... perhaps more now. And I really want to try and work through this.

Thankyou though! *hug*

And thankyou SlashIsVR for the luck! :) *hug*

i'm retarded :(

*Slap*

Stop being so emo. ?Pull yourself together woman. >:(




...Not really. ?I think you should forgive him, because I think you want to (and I think you just said that..). ?Be loving but strict - make it clear that you won't put up with this kinda thing again. ?Tell him he's gotta be the best boyfriend in the world from now on. ?Have really great make-up sex with him. ?If you still love each other there's no reason to give up.

Aww thankyou Danny! That's what I was gunna do anyway, thankyou for reinforcing that opinion!! : ok: :peace:

Well Im very sorry to hear this but I gotta tell you something and its gonna hurt, so be prepared. A cheater is always a cheater will never change, I remember a friend that always like to cheat to his girlfriends and always have his doubts when it comes to jelousy, Im saying that is ok for you to forgive him but never think he wont do it again, always have that in mind, dreadfully your confidence has been broken and it's unrepairable. I wish you both good luck and try to keep together  ;)

DP you gotta understand... he's NEVER cheated before. Ever. Not once. And he's a really really honest person and he feels absolutely terrible for just kissing that girl... and he knows now that he's not ever gunna do it again.

I am gunna get through this, and I'm not gunna let my confidence be broken. I'm not like that! It may sound stupid, but I still trust him. He's honest... and he told me, and I'm glad he told me. Yes it hurts, but its so much better than him just letting me believe that he didn't do anything and him having bottle up that guilt. That's bad.
What he DID was bad, but him telling me is good.

Thanks though! :)

Yes I know that and I think is great you do that, but a person minds is very difficult to understand and once you have done something that perhaps you didnt like the first time it could end up repeating the same mistake, hope this is not the case and yes you should feel very releave that he trusted you a lot of people dont do that, we acuarians rocks jejeje  : ok:

I understand what you're saying, but there is no way he'll ever do that again. He's come outta this feeling shit, and he won't want to feel like that again any time ever! Its like taking a bite out of a bit of cake and then getting an electric shock... he won't be takin' another bite!

And yes, you Aquarians do rock! : ok:

it might be worth working things out.just give it some time to see.



me im getting out of my g/f thing.after 4 years i can't feel the same.she goes with every guy she meets up with.and that bothers me about her.so im getting rid of that relasionship right now.im kinna tierd of the head games she plays all the time.it's done as far as im concerned.not that you shoud do the same.mine is totally different.

Thanks Horsey, I will do that :)

I hope things work out alright for you too! *hug*

hope things goes cool skynyrdgirl you're problem has made me realise a few things about my relationship and its gone but i duno what to do!im not a heartbreaker lol

Aww SIVR... dude hey, try and work it out... obviously if it really can't work, then I'm afraid its time for a break... but do your best to stay friends! I hope you're alright dude!

Oh yea, and DON'T do anything drasticly emo to yourself... :nervous:

please dont associate me with that word lol  :rofl:

but yeah im trying, i just feel empty and kissin her just feels like to much effort i just cant be bothered and i look at other couples and feel like, why??why, once i get out of this im never having a gf again!!i duno tomorrow ill prob be fine, just having a down cupla weeks i guess


she liked the GNR concert though  : ok:

another one conveted : ok:

Aww hey, don't say you won't have another girlfriend ever! You might meet the right one someday and if you vow never to have a girlfriend...  then... well it won't be pleasant... :(
You'll feel better tomorrow, come the mornin' light now baaaaby... : ok:

And hey at least you converted her! :)

you dont know how many times iv said that to someone when they feel down "come the mornin light now BABY"

lol

i duno, i love it for a while then just get bored after a while!!iv converted all 4 of my serious GF's lol, one now owns all of there albums lol : ok:

Ha.. you know how I wish I could convert my GF  :hihi:

If someone makes a mistake once, and they feel utterly shit about it, then they should be forgiven... TWICE however, extreme anger and not so quick to forgive. Three times, NO WAY!

I agree with you on that. ?Once is forgiveable and at least he does know he's wrong and is sorry for it. ?I hope you work it out hun, a good man is very hard to find if you have one hold onto him and don't let him get away! ?Seriously though, if there is love and respect you will get through it.  I'm starting to think it's the silly season for guys.  So many of my gf are having man trouble at the moment.

That's what it must be!! Silly season!
I mean we had a bad patch last year... he didn't do anything but we just had a hard time last year and we got through that alright! :) So perhaps its just this time of year! :hihi:

And he is a good man, a really good man! The best thing that ever happened to me, and I'm not gunna let him go so easy! It shouldn't be too hard either because there is a LOT of love and respect. :)

Silly season... must be.   :)

Hang in there Skynyrdgirl.  If he aint the one, you know what to do.   : ok:

U said u were about to break up BEFORE the kiss right?

So the thing is, Happy people dont go around contemplating breaking up.

there is obviously something wrong in the relationship that has absolutely nothing to do with his kissing of another girl.

Communication is the absolute number 1 key to a healthy long lasting relationship.  If u cant talk about everything and I do mean everything, then there is a good chance u guys have communication problems.

Why communicating is so important is because tensions build in relationships. Small things happen and after awhile they get heavier and heavier until finally u explode.

If u arent able to communicate, a wide variety of little things here and there can slowly eat away at the love and the positive feelings.

When u communicate it releases all that stress and pent up frustration.

So the second something bothers u or him, u have to have the ability to talk about it then and there and not let it build and build.

A comforting thought:

In the event the worst happens and u guys dont make it, Time will heal u. Dont turn into a whore and start having sex or doing things u normally wouldnt do with a bunch of different guys.  When u lose a love, that just means its one less guy u have to search through until u find the true one for u.

The true one for u will make u feel a million times happier than the wrong ones will which is hard to believe but its true.

This thread is lovely. :-*

Aww thanks D!
The truth is, a break up WAS on the cards before this happened... I didn't want it to happen and he knew that, and actually we do communicate a LOT! I always tell him how I feel about a certain thing, and he tells me too! Whenever he's feeling down, and we speak, I always cheer him up. Always!

Anyway I feel much better today than yesterday, and so does he! Everything seems to be slightly better now, and it seems that the hurt has not entirely, but decreased a LOT!

Thankyou everyone for your support!! I love all of you! :kiss: :love:

Maybe you do just need a break. Perhaps spending some time apart will make you realise that you really do want to make the relationship work, or it could make you realise you're better off apart, as friends.

Whatever your outcome, good luck  : ok:

I have another suggestion for couples.


Have hobbies that have nothing to do with the other.


this allows u alone time to have fun and do something u enjoy while your GF/BF does exactly the same thing.


This gives u time away from each other to do something positive and constructive for yourself.

No relationship could survive if u were constantly around each other 24/7 with no releases or hobbies to stay in touch with yourself.

That's correct D... I've been wanting to get back into horseriding actually... although there's no decent stables around where I live, and bloody hell is it ever expensive! BUT I'm going to art college in a month and a bit, so I'll be able to concentrate more on that! I can't believe I haven't done a canvas painting in over a YEAR!!! :o I can't wait to get started again!!! At the moment because I live in the middle of nowhere, I read a lot, I watch a lot of movies, I draw loads, I learn about whatever I want to learn about (thankyou Wikipedia), and I love Photoshop... as well some of you know, and I actually spend a lot of time just thinking... and I've realized since I've left school and college last year that my handwriting has become severely messy! I must neaten it! :hihi:

Course... my BF is still my main priority. :love: He's a LOT better today, and I can't wait to see him tomorrow!! :D :D :D

:crying: We broke up... :'(

I'm very sorry.

Better than breakin' down...

PS - Call me.

thats.... :'(...beautiful! :crying:
 :D
but anyways, it's true : ok:

damn, SG, sorry to hear you broke up. but you're a great girl, not bad looking either :D you'll find the right one soon enough! : ok:

MCT... :no:

That sucks.

Still, don't despair.? Your young and have loooaaaaddds of time to find the right guy.? Don't beat yourself up or bottle up your feelings because it'll drive you crazy - try to enjoy your alone time and find fun stuff to do.? I hope you're okay.

Also, MTC is an asshole.? Call me instead! :-*

I saw a GNR tribute band the other day. Guns 2 Roses, I think. By chance. We walked into a bar, it was almost a club, and they were playing. My friends didn't care. I had to sit at an awkward angle to see them. But they were great! I remembered once that you said your boyfriend was an Axl impersonator. You know, like a fake Axl in a tribute band. In one of my flows of consciousness I 'remembered' that, and I thought it would be weird if it was him. And them I remembered that you only said that your boyfriend, that is your ex-boyfriend, looked like Axl. Like he had red hair or something. But hey, whoever said that flows of consciousness were reliable.

... That's all I got. Sorry. Anything that implied that I cared and you would probably think that I was being sarcastic anyway. Plus that fact that I don't care anyway.

... ;D Seriously. I am joking. In spite of all our issues, I don't like to see anybody turn green from crying so hard, let alone yellow. One of the songs that I listen to when I'm feeling pretty shitty is Hell by Blind Melon. I don't really know why, but I remember getting home one night and just having it on repeat. It's only like two minutes long. Maybe it's just Shannons voice, but I could listen to that song all night. And maybe even cry if my heart wasn't made of stone.

So I went to put on the Nico album right now, and the CD wasn't in it's case. I went to kick my brothers arse, but he isn't in. So I just raided his room (not for MTV), but he has too many CD's in the wrong cases for me to go on a treasure hunt, so instead I just got pissed off and now I'm listening to it through my laptop. Which sucks. And it's all your fault. I hope you're happy with yourself.

Guys thanks so much...

I gotta get one thing straight with everyone... he told me today after we broke up... that he didn't actually kiss that girl at all, but he just thought if he told me that he did, it would make me go off him... so in a nutshell, he did it to make it easier on me... only it didn't work because I forgave him.

He also said that he still loves me and always will do, and he desperately wants to stay friends, and that in a few years he would love it if we got back together, because according to him I'm the best girlfriend he's ever had, and he's never gonna meet anyone like me, but that he can't stay in this relationship at this time because he has to sort his life out... and so do I...

I'll be fine, and we'll be fine in the long run, but its still hard to deal with... BUT... in a way this isn't the end, its a beginning... the beginning of getting my life back on track, going to art uni, getting my graphic media degree, and getting a proper job, and being there for him. He's my best friend as well, and is staying my best friend. :)

Thanks loads for your advice guys, I really appreciate it! You guys are great friends! *hug*

Even you Jim, I'm sorry I've said shit to you in the past, I think its just because I don't always understand your sarcasm or actually know when you're being sarcastic, and it just pisses me off because I feel like an idiot... you're not a bad guy though... and thanks for making me giggle a li'l bit... I hope you find your Nico CD... it would piss me off if I couldn't find a CD. (Its why I keep mine in CD cases and all the boxes together in order.) And you don't have a heart of stone, behind all your sarcasm and elitist wit, you're a sensitive soul... you wouldn't be a Gn'R fan if you weren't. So you get a hug too! *hug*

Maybe it was him, you sensitive soul. *hug*

And hey Skynyrd, you're dealing with this very level-headedly; sometimes these things just play themselves out. When it's done it's done.

I'm sorry, Skelly.  At least you two are willing to work together at friendship.  That says alot, I think   :peace:

I'm sorry love, at least you can remain friends and I know it may not seem it right now but, you will meet someone else.  You are still young and a good looking girl.  The guys will be queueing up as soon as they know you are available!  Coming from a recent break up myself I can advise this much ..... be kind to yourself.  Allow yourself to cry.  Allow a tantrum or two.  Do hit the cream cake counter and stuff yourself to the point of throwing up.  A bottle or two of wine (okay half a bottle in my case I am pregnant) can help although the headache afterwards is a bit harsh.  I know you probably cant go and splurge shop on his credit card so I just say, ask your folks about a possible parent financed shopping spree.  Nothing like new shoes to cheer a girl up!  I got Jimmy Choos, I would love to see his face when he gets his credit card statement this month!!! Revenge is sweet........sigh.

An honest man is a man you can respect, therefore, a man you can keep on loving. Without respect, no love.

Skelly! You know you will always have a shoulder on me to cry on.
I don't know if my two cents are worth much, but here goes. The main strength in a relationship is trust. It is so hard to love when there is no trust. It seems to me he is at least trust worthy. That is a huge plus in any man. My husband has strayed off the path and believe me its hard to continue on. But, I felt our relationship was worth a second chance.
If you really love him, then give him another chance. He seems to want to make it work.
Please feel free to message me or contact me on myspace any time you need to talk, Skynyrd Girl. I'm here for you!

Guys I just gotta get one thing clear... he never kissed that girl at all! He told me that he only told me he did to make me go off him and therefore make it easier to get over him...
He hated himself for having to tell me that, but he thought that it'd just make it easier on both of us... he said we had to break up in order to sort out our lives and stop being so dependant on each other... and that's the ONLY reason we ended..

Although I'm getting an idea... we should be boyfriend and girlfriend still, but not see each other on occasion... and just talk on the phone and email each other and write to each other... and that way we won't take each other for granted. It makes sense, because we still love each other and we still want to be with each other... its just that before, we were just with each other all the time almost... and we weren't allowing ourselves to evolve or want to do anything that didn't concern the other... so if we stop SEEING each other except for occasions, and just talk on the phone and email and write letters and stuff... but still be together...

that's hot !

Hey guys, it's open season on SkynyrdGirl!!? Woo-hoo!!? :beer:? :beer:

Nice try Pasnow, but you don't even know where I live... :P

That's ok, I was just hoping to "talk on the phone and email and write letters and stuff... "

Hey dude, sounds like you're trying to hold on to something that is already gone.  In my experience "taking a break" or "cooling things off" never works.  A nice clean break is the best way to go.  You can still be friends and what not, but don't try dating if you're going to be moving forward with your relationship.  Thats my two cents at least.

I know what you're saying HannaHat, but it was just an idea I came up with last night. When he rings me later, I'll tell him about it... I think he might like it. :)

I actually think that could be a good plan.? Sometimes just talking and writing consistently can make you closer and teach you to communicate better with eachother? ?:)

I know what you're thinking but, in my defence, I had just gone through some real shit with my old man (we are now divorcing).  I just found out I was pregnant and didnt want to be and I was having trouble dealing with it all.  It was only the once and my sister who is a Health Visitor said I wouldnt have harmed the baby at all.  A glass of red wine when pregnant is actually good for you so the midwife tells me.  I've been really good since then, I hardly drink, I'm not having sex and I've even given up smoking weed so, cut me some slack, it's not as though I'm an alkie whose shaking on having the next drink, but I am real hormonal now OKAY!!! 

Turns out you were right... :crying: I shoulda listened to you dude, he said that he didn't want that because he just didn't want the pressure... apparantly he just wants to cut it off instead of causing each other more pain... I guess I should wait for him to come up with the ideas... :'( :'( :'(

Oh babe, never mind love.  You'll be okay.  There are lots of good guys waiting out there.  We are here for you love, as I said in my earlier post allow yourself a good cry it works wonders it truly does :crying: Then get all the cushions down off the sofa or your bed or whatever and kick shit out of them, it worked for me, my version of anger management.

That sucks... sorry, Skelly?   :-\

Aww thanks babe... I don't think I can cry anymore though... its just so weird, not having him around anymore, I can't hug up to him, I don't have him to snuggle up to on the sofa anymore, I can't go to the cinema with him anymore, I can't get woken up by him bringing me a cup of coffee and kissing my back... I can't do any of those things anymore... I have to sleep alone and rely on a pillow to hug... which isn't the same... *le sigh de grande*

I'm so glad I have you guys to give me advice and cyber-hugs... you're all really lovely people and I'm so grateful to know you all! :-* :-* :-* I wish there was a cute li'l hugging emoticon so I could use it to hug each and every one of you seeing as I can't do it in person... (wish I could though)...

I think I'll be OK... I just gotta concentrate on other stuff...

Keep your head up. Things will get better for you in no time. And you'll forget about him. Great time to go out and meet new people. Don't keep yourself in feeling low. :)

he doesnt but remember who your stalker is (http://www.fusionlangaming.com/forum/images/smilies/stalker_trench.gif)

Seriously sorry to hear that hope you get over it soon your still young and yes weve all seen your pictures and you are attractive Mr Right is somewhere have fun finding him.

Hey babe :)

I'm sorry to have to say it but I think he's trying to be as nice as possible about ending the relationship and will more than likely not suggest any ideas of his own :( I think it's also wrong of him to even suggest the idea that you and him may get back together in the future as all that is doing is promoting false hope for you. It's not easy but slowly move on with your life and find happiness again with someone else. Don't put your life on hold waiting for him as it may never happen.

Best of luck  :-*

Sneeks

Aww Sneeks thanks buddy! *hug* I know what you're sayin'... and I'm not gunna put my life on hold for him... that would just be stupid... I just gotta try and stay positive through this and concentrate on other stuff.

You are sounding very positive so that's a great thing. Keep a good network of friends around you and most importantly have plenty of laughs. Take some time away from relationships to sort your head out and then venture into the big bad world again :) The general opinion on reading this thread is that you are one hot gal so I'm sure you'll not struggle to find someone new when the time is right ;)

 :-*

Sneeks

Yea I'm insanely positive... I actually feel a bit guilty about being so positive... I feel like I SHOULD be crying and screaming and throwing things and snapping at everyone and ripping things up and getting drunk off my ass, and all that... but I'm not... I've cried a lot, but its not constant... but I've not been doing any of that... I've actually just been very calm and trying to keep my head together.

Thanks loads and loads for your advice!! I really don't want to get into another relationship right now... I just want to be able to enjoy myself and not be upset and be able to be friends with him without getting all emotional...

Continue how you are and you will be doing great. You'll have good and bad moments but I'm confident you'll be fine :) Have a collective hug from all of us that have shown support to you in this thread during the times you feel like crying.

There is no set way that you should behave and we all deal with things in our own way so don't feel guilty :)

 :-*

Sneeks

Aww thanks dude! You're right that I'll have good and bad moments... and that I'll be fine. I know I will. I think its times like these when I'm grateful I don't have any mental illnesses... when if I did, a thing like this would cast me into a deep chasm of depression and anguish, when because I don't, I'm just kinda holding onto a rope and pulling myself up, and the further I get up the rope it turns into a ladder and it gets easier...

Thanks though Sneeks, you're lovely! :-*

My pleasure honey. Now go enjoy yourself and :) lots.

 :-*

Sneeks

Update....

Well... in the past week me and him have been talking every day, and yesterday while I was at the cinema he sent me a text saying "Damn how can I live without my soulmate!? xxxxxxxxx" and we had a conversation when I got home and the whole thing was seeming as if he wanted to get back with me. He was saying how much he loved me, and said I was right about the reason we broke up (because we got complacent and spent too much time with each other) and that he would love to get back with me. BUT... then tonight it kinda all changed... we had a lovely conversation at first, but then it all went downhill... he was saying that "I don't think we're compatible because its not JUST that we got complacent" and then saying that I was too immature, and that instead of having Gn'R posters up in my room, I should have posters of Jenna Jameson and Jill Kelly to show that I have "female idols" and that I "look up to strong women". ::) and that I'm a tomboy... which is fucked up because I'm so not like that! He said he wants someone more "girly". AND then he started slating Axl, saying that he's an asshole and that I'm stupid for being a fan... :rant:
All of his "demands" were fucking shallow and selfish as fuck. As much as it killed me to say it, I said that I couldn't be with someone who expected me to not be who I am, not like who I like, not wear what I wear, not have my room the way it is! :no:
I'm not going to be a doormat and bow to his every whim. He said "Yea girls can be rock n' roll, but do it in a sexy way, like Pamela Anderson, not the way you do it, which is sad and pathetic". Fucker!! I don't mean to sound conceited here, but I must be mistaken if you guys think I'm sad and pathetic.

I really love him, but he can really be such an asshole sometimes! Its just the rest of the time when he's not being an asshole, he's really the sweetest and most loving man in the world... but even so... I don't think I can get back with him... its too hard and I can't cope with trying to keep up to his almost impossible standards! :crying:

That's the thing, he DOES love me. He's just incredibly selfish, and he knows it. I said that I really hope he can learn to see past the shallow material things, and the fact that NO, I'm NOT perfect, and just love me for who I am.

He just gets in moods like this sometimes... I've heard it all before, but these moods occur about 5% of the time, and the other 95% is wonderful!

... I think I must be a love addict, because even after these mood swings, I still keep comin' on back for more... I'm not stupid, I realize that there's gotta be something weirdly and freakishly wrong with me because if there wasn't, I wouldn't stay! I wouldn't want to be with him, I wouldn't love him as much as I do!

I said that already. He said he wants someone without any foibles... ::) He's gunna be lookin' for a VEEEERY long time to find someone like that... and when he does he won't like her because she won't have a personality... or she'll be ugly as sin or a complete bitch... and then he'll come crying back to me saying "I'm so sorry, you were right, I love you so much you are the best and always will be and I'm sorry I was ever horrid to you!... etc" ... and I suppose I will be there for him because even if I'm not with him, I still love him and he'll always be my best friend. :love:

Yup Evo. That's what I think! He doesn't though... and it makes me feel bad for him cuz I know he won't be truly happy with anyone because they won't ever be perfect enough for him... :no:

He's said to me that I'm his soulmate and that he really fuckin' loves me and that I'm the best girlfriend he's ever and will ever have, and I'm number one and all that... that's when he ain't in one of his moods... I think you can see how it'd be so easy to get sidetracked when you're getting thoughts like that being shoved in your mind... and then later hearing things like "we're not compatible, you're too young for me, I want someone who doesn't have posters on their wall, I want someone who doesn't dress the way you dress... yadda yadda yadda..." THEN you feel the way I feel... completely fucking ripped in half. One half of me wants to desperately get back with him, but the other half of me is saying not to because I'll just be being a doormat and not going for what *I* want... but at the same time I really really really feel for him and I want to look after him and make sure he's OK.

... arrrrgh break ups SUCK FUCKING ARSEHOLE!!!!

And yea I know Sterling... :no:

Well at least he has his sense of humor. Seriously, that's kind of crazy. ha

There's absolutely nothing wrong with how you are. Don't change. You should be appreciated in your entirety in love and in friendships.

I'm so sorry, Skelly.  And I'm shitty writing this by the wa.y.. but someone in a relaionshnip with  you has to accept your flaws or quirks or whatever the fuclk you wanna call them.  Don't change who you are.  You're adorable... who wants to be fucking Pam Anderson??   :confused:

Be who you are, its the only path to true happiness ;D

Aww thanks guys... you rock! *hug*

You're all right, and I am not changing who I am for anyone. If they can't accept me as the person I am and can't see past the little annoying quirks... well, that's their loss isn't it, and they'll realize they have to quit being so shallow. No one is perfect, and someone's standards shouldn't be SO high that they find it almost impossible to accept anyone with imperfections.

Wanna suck face?