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Off Topic => The Jungle => Topic started by: Evolution on July 02, 2006, 11:41:16 AM



Title: Man severs own penis, throws it at Police Officers
Post by: Evolution on July 02, 2006, 11:41:16 AM
   
News Archive
Man severs own penis, throws it at officers

March 17, 2006

BY ERIC HERMAN Staff Reporter

Before cops threw the book at him, Jakub Fik threw something unusual at them -- his penis.

Fik, 33, cut off his own penis during a Northwest Side rampage Wednesday morning. When confronted by police, Fik hurled several knives and his severed organ at the officers, police said. Officers stunned him with a Taser and took him into custody.

"We took him out without any serious injury, with the exception of his own," said Chicago Police Sgt. Edward Dolan of the 16th District.

Doctors at Northwestern Memorial Hospital reattached Fik's penis Wednesday, sources said. He was listed in good condition Thursday, according to hospital spokesman Andrew Buchanan, who declined to comment further.

Smashing car windows

Fik, who lives in the 5400 block of W. Berenice, is charged with two counts of aggravated assault and one count of criminal damage to property, said Officer Laura Kubiak. He told paramedics he was distraught over problems with his girlfriend in Poland, Dolan said.

Police arrived on Fik's block at 8:20 a.m. Wednesday after receiving reports he was smashing car windows, Dolan said. Fik then broke into a house down the block. A group of six or seven officers assembled in front of the house, Dolan said.

The occupants were not home, he added.

Fik was bleeding when the officers arrived and may have already cut off his organ, Dolan said.

"At that point, this guy came running out, naked, with a handful of knives . . . and started throwing knives at the police officers that were 10, 20, 30 feet away," Dolan said.

Fik threw his penis during the confrontation, too, Dolan said. He then went back into the house and re-emerged with "another handful of knives," Dolan said.

Dolan sneaked to the side of the bungalow's front steps and stunned Fik with the Taser. Fik fought back when officers went to restrain him, Dolan said.

"About 10 feet from the front porch, right on the sidewalk, was his penis," Dolan said.

Dr. Greg Bales, associate professor of urology at the University of Chicago, said severed penises are uncommon but surgery usually works.

"As long as the penis is placed on ice and reattached within a few hours, the success is usually pretty good," Bales said.



http://www.suntimes.com/output/news/cst-nws-ouch17.html


 ??? Why would you throw something that important??


Title: Re: Man severs own penis, throws it at Police Officers
Post by: anythinggoes on July 02, 2006, 11:45:04 AM


http://www.suntimes.com/output/news/cst-nws-ouch17.html


 ??? Why would you throw something that important??

why would you cut it off in the first place


fucking weirdo*


*he's not a board member i can get away with that cant i?


Title: Re: Man severs own penis, throws it at Police Officers
Post by: axl_rose_700 on July 02, 2006, 12:09:05 PM
What a nobhead


Title: Re: Man severs own penis, throws it at Police Officers
Post by: Captain P?l on July 02, 2006, 02:17:45 PM
if you cut of you penis you shall put it in your mouth!


Title: Re: Man severs own penis, throws it at Police Officers
Post by: EFISH on July 02, 2006, 02:21:12 PM
i heard about this-- they were making fun of him on comedy central :hihi:


Title: Re: Man severs own penis, throws it at Police Officers
Post by: Neemo on July 02, 2006, 02:25:42 PM
now that's some kinda statement!!! :o

it ain't right :nervous:


Title: Re: Man severs own penis, throws it at Police Officers
Post by: the dirt on July 02, 2006, 02:29:07 PM
I cut my member off and throw it at people from time to time when I get really ticked off. :(




fucking weirdo*


*he's not a board member i can get away with that cant i?

Well this story isn't about me so I suppose you'll be able to slide.


Title: Re: Man severs own penis, throws it at Police Officers
Post by: cotis on July 02, 2006, 02:52:23 PM
Wow...

I don't even want to imagine how much that freaking hurt.


Title: Re: Man severs own penis, throws it at Police Officers
Post by: Natasha23 on July 02, 2006, 02:53:05 PM
He must be mentally ill. ?He'll probably end up in the psych ward.


Title: Re: Man severs own penis, throws it at Police Officers
Post by: Jim on July 02, 2006, 02:54:36 PM
I guess he was going for the suicide with a bang thing, but the taser put a spanner in the works...

... Gutted.

Oh, and

"As long as the penis is placed on ice and reattached within a few hours, the success is usually pretty good," Bales said.

 :nervous:


Title: Re: Man severs own penis, throws it at Police Officers
Post by: nycangel on July 02, 2006, 02:56:36 PM
interesting, and extremely weird


Title: Re: Man severs own penis, throws it at Police Officers
Post by: Elrothiel on July 02, 2006, 06:35:41 PM
..... if the guy was weird enough he probably got off from watching THAT scene in Hard Candy... :rofl:

But seriously!! WHY THE FUCK WOULD A GUY CUT OFF HIS COCK!!!?? ??? :no:


Title: Re: Man severs own penis, throws it at Police Officers
Post by: Mandy. on July 02, 2006, 06:57:16 PM
But seriously!! WHY THE FUCK WOULD A GUY CUT OFF HIS COCK!!!?? ??? :no:

So that he can throw it at the police?  :hihi:

He really must have mental problems.


Title: Re: Man severs own penis, throws it at Police Officers
Post by: mega_music on July 03, 2006, 03:15:10 AM
I've heard stories like this before. I think Howard Stern was talking about a guy who ripped out his own balls, and another you pulled his eyeball out. Of course theses guys were on drugs. But why and the hell would someone do that to themselves


Title: Re: Man severs own penis, throws it at Police Officers
Post by: J-Studham on July 03, 2006, 03:20:20 AM
 :D old, but still twistedly funny, and screwed up :hihi:

just thinking of mine not being there freaks the hell outta me  :nervous:


Title: Re: Man severs own penis, throws it at Police Officers
Post by: misterID on July 03, 2006, 03:52:52 AM
Well, that's one way to make the cops back off. I would have liked to have seen the argument between the cops on who was going to pick it up.


Title: Re: Man severs own penis, throws it at Police Officers
Post by: Sin Cut on July 03, 2006, 03:56:22 AM
so, was it any big?


Title: Re: Man severs own penis, throws it at Police Officers
Post by: NicoRourke on July 03, 2006, 04:05:55 AM

Aouch :rofl:

Just imagine the cops faces :P


Title: Re: Man severs own penis, throws it at Police Officers
Post by: Sin Cut on July 03, 2006, 04:07:28 AM
I'm sure they skipped sausage and ate donuts afterwards


Title: Re: Man severs own penis, throws it at Police Officers
Post by: Shirell on July 03, 2006, 04:11:26 AM
Damn, why put yourself through all that agony!  He could have given Mrs Bobbit a ring, I'm sure she'd have relieved him of his burden in a snip.


Title: Re: Man severs own penis, throws it at Police Officers
Post by: ClintroN on July 03, 2006, 04:26:26 AM
this one realy made me think... :o :o :o :o........oh my fk'n god :o :o :o  im just speachless here :o :nervous: :nervous: :nervous: :nervous:


Title: Re: Man severs own penis, throws it at Police Officers
Post by: Sakib on July 03, 2006, 11:18:38 AM
Leave the guy alone! At least he's sane unlike you guys. I cut my penis off and throw it at people when I'm angry and I aint ashamed to admit it  :hihi: :hihi:


Title: Re: Man severs own penis, throws it at Police Officers
Post by: estranged2006 on July 04, 2006, 11:04:22 AM
you stole this article from the Metal Sludge Sludge board. u saw it there and posted it here did u?


Title: Re: Man severs own penis, throws it at Police Officers
Post by: Evolution on July 04, 2006, 11:08:42 AM
Nope. I have David Spade as a friend on myspace and stole it from a blog of his.