Here Today... Gone To Hell!

My girlfriend is pregnant and my family is pressuring me to get married, I dont need advice on what to do, i already have that solved, Whats your opinions of the idea of kids before marriage.

While I would rather be married before I have any kids, if a little bastard did pop out before then I wouldn't let it dictate when I got married; I wouldn't push the marriage forward, that is if it's being pushed forward at all, and not just created through pregnancy. I'd rather know sooner than a forced later if this kid is going to be bought up in one house or two.

when you're married you know that your relationship is long term because the marriage officially seals the bond and makes woman and man a definite unity. Therefore children should be born after marriage because if you have a gf/bf relationship its not a sealed unity and thus the child may end up in a single parent situation.

Hey, if the kid is loved and cared for, what the fuck does it matter whether or not the parents are legally married? You should get married because you WANT to, not because of outside pressure. There are some legal perks to being married in some countries though. You might want to look into that, sometimes it IS easier to be married when you have kids, but that depends on the laws of the country.

I got married quite young, just for the hell of it. I wanted to get married, my boyfriend too, we threw a party. But the first question that came out of EVERYBODY's mouth when I told them I was engaged was ' Are you pregnant?' Now, how stupid is THAT? Ggrr.

i'm not married

both me and the father have legal equal rights.

Itdoesn't change a thing in my country

^yes, as I said, it depends on the country you live in. Same in the Netherlands, no difference, except that dad has to sign an extra piece of paper when he registers the child. That's it. But there are some countries where there are different laws for married and non-married people. All depends on where you live.

it's cool as long as you lov eachother and will love the child.. Having a child is a huge to do, not something you'd want to do if you weren't really into the person for more then some loving.

getting married for the sake of a child is fucked up, fighting arguing always a bad vibe in the house.. You only live once, no need living in hell because you have a child, not good for them or you

I had my first child before marriage but I knew I was getting married anyways..I should say my wife was pregnant before marriage, baby was bron after we wed

It's fine. Kids are affected by their parents' attitude, not their status. If the parents are happy, the child will be too.

By the way, congratulations and good luck.



I can only imagine what your offspring would be like.

This comes to mind: (http://www.80stees.com/images/products/stuey_family_guy_t-shirt_link.jpg)

Well,my parents weren't married,and they were together for 18 years
"divorced" a month ago though

So I'm fine with children before marriage ;)

what a bastard.

After marriage. You bloody fornicating humans.

Anyone heard of palimony?  ::)

no. never.

Anyway, what i mean to say is after marriage you know the relationships for long term and for life (at least thats the intention) so a child should be born with parents that are for life or for long term. BF/GF unity is generally not as strong as husband/wife unity.

Was it me you called a bastard?

some people say i'm selfish but if i'm not married at the age of 33 or 35 i'll  have a baby with or without a boyfriend, husband or fiance, whatever. I've always dreamt with being a mom, i love kids and to be a mom must be one of the most beautiful things that ever happens to someone's life.

so if someone wants to help when i get to that age, let me know  :rofl:

knowing that the average french marriage happens 1 year after meeting, and usually lasts 4 years before a divorce ( 1 out of 2 marriages ends in divorce in paris itself and 1/3 in france) , it's a total of 5 years for UNITY

I have been together 6 and a half with my partner ( won't last much longer either, another story), so technically, i have been longer in unity WITHOUT mariage.

Mariage costs less than a divorce nowadays, and 1out of 2 couples haven't finished reimbursing their weddings when they have to reimburse their divorce.

i was with my ex partner for 5 1/2 years before we planned to have a child there is nothing wrong with it unfortantly the relationship has now ended and although i get to see my daughter as much as i want to i know that if things turned shitty as a father i have no rights because i am not married if my ex decided she wanted to leave the country with my daughter there is nothing i could do to stop her plus there is loads of other legal shit to contend with as well pretty fucked up just hope things stay civil.

Nothing wrong with kids before marriage if it's in a stable loving relationship where both parents love it

I absolutely agree :yes: :)

My parents were never married. I respect them both for that decision. They love and respect eachother a lot and I had a wonderful childhood. To this day they visit eachother and go on vacations together, they're the best of friends, but they knew that their relationship just wasn't marriage-material. 
So yeah, there are no rules. You have to do what's right for you in your own situation.

glad that everything went so well..... Doesn't happen to often... many people rush into marriage because of a child then live miserably the rest of their lives and fight in front of their children which is very unhealthy

It just really depends.

I say after marriage cause at that point, at least you know what type of person you're with and everything at least to a certain extent.

I agree.? I believe that kids need a mom and a dad who will love them, but marriage is not a necessity.?

 :)

Just my two cents: ...if you don't wanna get married, at least have some legal papers drawn up regarding the kid you are bringing into this world should you or boyfriend get killed, become terminally ill, unable to care for the little f*cker, etc....the kid goes where? Foster home?ward of the state? your dysfunctional family members? ...wanna be a single parent and have a baby, fine, have enough financial ammunition to support it yourself

i have made a paper telling who is the legal guardian of my son, a sort of will, and it's in my safe at the bank.