Here Today... Gone To Hell!

I don't know if any of you have seen this or notbut at www.chucknorrisfacts.com there is a long list of supposed facts about the deadly redhead, i.e. Chuck Norris's tears can cure cancer, too bad he has never cried, or Chuck Norris has counted to infinity twice.  Some very funny stuff. 

So how about a list of "facts" about Axl?


1.  A drunken night in Tennessee with two groupies that were sisters led to the conception of all three members of the Kings of Leon.

2.  While on a working vacation in the Caribean, Axls morning vocal exercises cause the original winds of Hurrican Katrina to start.

3.  The 1992 LA riots started when Axl thought that someone tried to take his picture.

4.  Axl fed a homeless family of 4 with the crumbs from his beard.

5.  In the late 90s Axl purposely killed himself in order to get to heavan and hear a perfectly tuned harp so it could be used on CD.  He was brought back to life but managed to bring the harp back with him.

Add more.  Have fun!

That Chuck Norrris site is some of the funniest shit I've read in a while. The first time I saw that a few months ago I actually cried while I was reading it.

Unfortunately about 70 percent of the board members here are going to look at this the wrong way and take it like you are talking shit about Axl.

I think one of the Chuck Norris lines would work perfect for Axl.

"Axl Rose lost his virginity before his father did"

This Chuck Norris business has gotten out of hand in our office. Our department is constantly sending Chuck jokes around. I have to say, though that I love it. Some of those lines are absolutely hilarious! I've started receiving them from other departments now as well. It's an epidemic!

Unbelievable, I'd never heard of that site untill a couple of days ago and I hadn't laughed that much in ages, now it's brought up here of all places!  :o

Some Axl facts is a great idea.

How bout....

Axl Rose can win a game of connect four in three moves
The Matrix was based on Axl Rose's ability to use his snake-dance to dodge bullets.
Police label anyone taking unauthorised pictures of Axl Rose as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.
Everybody Loves Raymond.... except Axl Rose

Great Game

@#$%Funker

C'mon don't we have any creative people on here?  What a bunch of lame asses!!

you could continue :hihi:      but yeah.... where?s saul??

Axl Rose went in to the studio 10 minutes after Slash quit the band and finished recording "Chinese Democracy" in approximately 13 minutes (one minute for each song).

He hasn't released it yet cuz first he has to teach his musicians to play it properly (which takes 15-20 years) and secondly, he needs to wait til the rock scene catches up to him (Closest guestimated date of that happening is 2025) if he releases it sooner everyone who hears it will have their heads explode because, to quote Tommy Stinson, it is "mind-blowing and fucking huge" (at the time he made that statement he had only listened to the first 30 seconds of track #1), Buckethead didn't leave GnR, he is actually dead cuz he listened to the whole album in one sitting (he wasn't ready :no: )

you suck :hihi:

Gold. Pure Gold. Although the other facts are just as great. :beer:

Axl Rose isn't a recluse. He just moves so fast he hardly has been seen since 1994.

Axl Rose isn't recording a new CD. He just mentally thinks CD is done and when he does this CD will be done.

Axl can perform all instruments and all songs ever written all by himself.? But anyone listening to that much perfection would have their head explode.

Axl Rose does not comb or cut his hair. His innner aggrestion towards shitty security and bad news reporters scares his hair into dreads.

There are two types of people.  Those that are alive. and Those that have pissed of Axl

Those are Chuck references already. Got to come up with new ones relating to Axl

The US army didn't find Saddam Hussein, Axl did.

He was looking for a nice quiet thinking spot.

This doesn't work for several reasons.

1. The Chuck Norris jokes are re-hashes of Vin Diesel jokes that were on the internet 3 years ago.
2. Chuck Norris and Vin Diesel are badass motherfuckers.
3. Axl's a reclusive putz.

Therefore, removing Chuck and Vin's name from a joke and replacing it with Axl makes the joke neither funny or logical.

(I invented the chuck norris trend 5 years ago ! .... they stole my idea :( )

they're playing live mozart on tv, so i'm in a funny mood:

- we're not waiting on chinese democracy, chinese democracy is waiting on axl.
- axl rose like potatoes.

1. sorry we're not up on our Vin Deislel internet history
2. I like Vin for his tremendous acting ability. ::) that and the wonderful movies he makes ::) (oh yeah Guys who play Dungeons and Dragons are not usually considered "Bad Ass Motherfuckers"). I'm not a fan of Chuck Norris either .... Although I've visited the Bar from Walker Texas Ranger and he's a better actor than Vin Deisel :hihi:
3. Why come here then? ???

Gilld1 asked us to make some Axl ones up, not replace Axl's name in old ones


HUH ??? What? If he sits in the dark to long he grows white roots? :hihi: :confused:

Worst thread ever.

Here's one:

Axl needs a website because gnronline.com sucks balls.

So, Axl calls Sanctuary.

Sanctuary peruse the internet.

Sanctuary sees nothing but admins and mods from attention seeking GNR wannabe websites and get dismayed which further leads to CD's delay.

One day, Sanctuary look up the word "Hell" on the net and find "Heretodaygonetohell.com"

Sanctuary show it to Axl.

Axl gives the  : ok:

Jarmo gets free host space!

 :hihi:

okay, creativity wise, I get a 10+ :peace:

yup... : ok:
 :beer:

great thread lol
keep it alive  : ok:

After reading the debaucharist rock n roll lyrics in Appetite for Destruction for the first time in 15 years recently Axl Rose decided to sue himself for slander.

Axl Rose has not released his latest album yet as he is actually waiting for democracy in China.

In a bid to out-do Russel Crowe Axl Rose has thrown a hotel clerk at a telephone.

Axl Rose does not intend for the latest incarnation of Guns n Roses to be a rock band, he was thinking more along the lines of a travelling circus.

Axl Rose is such a perfectionist that he practiced being born several times before the actual event.

Axl Rose makes people wait for so long that he wasn't actually born until he was 22.

Axl Rose has caused so many riots he makes fascism look like kiddie hour.



Just a few I made up, I realise they suck.

any reference to the past-life-regression thing? :hihi:

3. I'm referring to the fact that you can't take a joke about stars and their exaggerated superhuman powers and apply it to an ex-druggie that sits in his house all day.

Since when is "love Axl" a requirement of HTGTH?

Here's some odd tidbits~

Axl rose actually auditioned for the role of Darth Vader for the Star Wars saga but George Lucas said he was too evil.

Axl sold his soul to the devil and the devil gave him change.

Hitler watches the old Guns N' Roses live at the Ritz concert for tips on world domination.

Axl doesn't need a set of Ginsu knives, he just sings.

Axl can't enter a Christian Book store~ It burns his feet.

(Mine suck too~ But men love things that suck~ and don't pretend you don't!)

you are not worth my time :-*

Good, I don't teach special education anyways.

1. Axl wont release Chinese Democracy..until he remembers where he put it...
2. 13 million isnt even including the recording costs of Chinese Democracy, it's just the bar tab..
3. Robin Finck is going bald from playing a G chord 7 hours a day/ 7 days a week in Axl's basement...gettin' ready for the big take...
4. Axl unpluggled Chris Pittman's keyboard because he made Axl late for the Kripy Kreme hot light..
5. The '02 VMA's sucked because Slash was backstage with an Axl vodoo doll plucking Axl's strings..
6. More guitar players have been in Gn'R than Steven Adler has been in rehab...

 :rofl: There crappy but sue me.

Now, that was funny.

An MRI has revealed that Axl Rose has two sets of testicles, one of which is in his throat.  Thus proving that Axl has the ballsiest voice in rock n roll.

1.theyve stopped the korn tour coz they say it would only be successful if axl was there but hes to busy finishing CD.

Hahaha :hihi:

 :hihi: That was great! Did the MRI also show they were both the largest pairs they had ever documented in medical history?