Here Today... Gone To Hell!

Axl mention in Tools latest Newsletter....!

And something interesting..

These, it turned out, were secret burgers (i.e. not listed on the menu) from Firefly, those that are currently both Adam and Danny's favorite burger (which yours truly turned them on to, thus giving away another of the world's great secrets).

After one of Joe's assistants left to get the needed unit, the guys finally took their dinner break. "Even the burgers are secret" I uttered as they checked the Styrofoam lids in order to determine which secret burgers belonged to whom. When they sat down to eat, I began to tell them a story... a story that involved burgers and secrets (of course!). This was about the time I spent Christmas with Axl Rose. I shit you not. This was a few years ago, I having been invited to the singer's Malibu home by my friend Chris Pitman (who, at the time, was in Guns N' Roses - hell, he might still be!). This was no major gathering (to say the least). As I recall there was only Axl, his brother, a female personal assistant, Chris and myself. But I remember that when I arrived, Axl was in the kitchen, peering into the refrigerator, looking for the ingredients to make a crude secret sauce, the color of which reminded me of the gooey stuff slathered on Dog N' Suds burgers (an all but forgotten Midwest chain of drive-ins with carhops).

This prompted a discussion of gut rumbles from the past, and, in that Axl grew up in the Midwest (from some paradise city in Indiana, I think), he was quite familiar with those rather unremarkable Dog N' Suds charbroiled burgers all dressed up with their secret sauce (yep, just like those in Fast Times at Ridgemont High). In fact, on this starry Christmas evening, it seemed as if he was maybe even attempting to duplicate the Dog N' Suds secret. In case you're wondering, the rest of the evening was fairly uneventful, no wild drinking, drugs or riots. A traditional X-mas dinner with all the trimmings (traditional save for the fact that the turkey had TWO hearts, a little detail that I wouldn't be able to share with you had Axl's people convinced me to sign a confidentiality agreement) was served well after midnight, and then around 3:00 AM (if memory serves me right) lots of presents under the tinsel-festooned tree were opened (many of them being of a robotic nature). There was even a couple under there with my name on them, meaning that Axl had a pretty good personal assistant!

With the story over, and Firefly secret burgers duly impressing all those newbies biting into the beef patty, bleu cheese and bacon for the first time (and hey, for those of you who want a vicarious thrill, let's not forget those fries, even though, like all fries, they don't travel well), while waiting for Joe's assistant to return with the piece of equipment, we all watched a film entitled "Bullet-Proof Monk." This, fortunately, wasn't all that good. I say fortunately because this gave Maynard a chance to add his own commentary. It was times like this that I wish there was someone with a video camera to document things.

?

So, why did I bring up that Christmas spent with Axl Rose (Toolies and TA)? Well, I can tell you that, even though it might not seem to be the case, there's a bit more going on here than just grease stains from a secret burgers, vintage or otherwise.



On the last! What the heck?

Was this written by Blair (Blake)? He's told me some funny stories about Pitman in the past.

yes. i belive it is, but on the newletter there is everybodys name under, so im not quite sure. But could this mean that Axl and Tool have worked on something together? or what?

Ya gotta really open your mind and read between the lines when it comes to anything Tool related.
Who knows what this means.

IMO, there could be no better person  for Axl to work with than Maynard.
Whatever those 2 create together would be mind blowing.

Maynard could be a very positve influence for Axl.

Maynard should also be voted the President of the Human Race.

I think this is called a "mind fuck". I wont guess into it. Maybe Pitman told Tool a few Axl secrets and they were excited enough to make a witty blog.

am Trying to read between every lines,
wondering which is more difficult to interpret?either this one or my posts?


This is a worrying bit?After reading that recent Richards mail.
I bet the writer (Blair?) read it as well.


Oh no plz. :no:
Is it common to have burgers on Christmas evening in America?


 :love: W hearted turkey?  :love:

What's an ice story! Good read. Thanks nytune.  : ok:

I'm too tired to check or comment this, but here's what could be the intresting parts:

What uselesness.

robotic toys implying buckethead was involved in some way?

two hearts of some project? axl and maynard?

Sounds like they recorded something together.

I find it amusing people are trying to read into this more than they should.

He told a story. This isn't cryptic internet bullshit like GNFR - it's just a guy who tagged along to dinner a few years back.

I'm guessing you don't know a great deal about Tool, or Maynard.

First of all Maynard is one of the funniest, sarcastic, brilliant people in the world.
Kind of off topic, sorry

But if you do follow Tool and you fail to read between the lines, or  don't read into what they are saying you'll miss the point and not get it.

There is usually a great deal of substance in what they choose to say/write. Ant it's not always obvious.

i think is saying that him and axl worked on something, as someone stated before, and perhaps he meant that axl was trying to duplicate that famous guns n roses sound, but instead he used the term dog n suds sauce

Haha! what a great read!

thanks for posting it...

It seems to me that this guy is telling us a story he?s got the right to tell us, possibly a fake one, in order to hint to something he hasn?t got the right to tell regarding Axl (see how he stresses the fact that he didn?t sign a confidentiality agreement on this). Robotic stuff, two hearts, Axl trying to recreate something from his youth? Well, that?s intriguing.

that's exactly what I was thinking !!!!!!!! we must all be nuts  :hihi:

two hearts? pleaaaze, the turkey is CHIDEM and the two hearts are two cds, as in double album !!robotic stuff must be the industrial part of the music and the presents are the songs !!!!

i like how axl is filtering information about his turkey.  ;D

This guy is encouraging us, isn't he, when he says :

"So, why did I bring up that Christmas spent with Axl Rose (Toolies and TA)? Well, I can tell you that, even though it might not seem to be the case, there's a bit more going on here than just grease stains from a secret burgers, vintage or otherwise."

'Vintage or Otherwise'  .....I like the sound of that lol

CD is getting released at Christmas as a double CD and Buckethead is back in the band????

i think its kinda weird! The IS something strange about it! Why should Tool wright this in theyr newsletter.. anyway.. www.toolband.com is the source.

lots of beautifully finished songs were disclosed, many of which were with Buckets remarkable guitar?
Or
lots of the genuine tunes that had been mystified with high-flown rumours were revealed? Many of them were in some new kind of computer formats?


2 tracks were credited to him?

I hear Robin mentioned a Christmas tree n stuff in his Christmas card or greeting mail for GN'R fans a few years back. Anyone?

i think this is very interesting, if you read into and look a bit behind it... Anyway, it will just be speculations. But who knows! What i think is a bit strange is that there have been people talking about it lately, maybe there is a rumour in the music bizz that CD  IS done and will be out soon.... Soon... hate to use that word

 - Nytunz -

Okay! Now this is strange! Toolband have removed the Axl story from the August Newsletter!  Do you think they got a call from Sanctuary.. ?

- Nytunz -

:idea:
You've a great job, Nytunz! Thanks to you we could read it! I'm proud of you, mate!

Thank you darling ;D
im a huge Tool fan, so i came over it yesterday looking for som Toolnews.. Anyway! This makes me all fired up to new music, from bouth bands   :beer:

A turkey with 2 hearts?  Hmmm, sounds like a hint that Axl's covering "2 of Hearts" by Stacy Q.!!!   Yes!!! 

2 of hearts, 2 hearts that beat as one, c'mon, c'mon!

Yes!!!

I thought I didn't find it !
There's a reason why it was taken off, it must've looked too obvious ?

CHINESE DEMOCRACY STARTS NOW !!!!  :hihi:

Yeah, but who the hell would want to release a album on christmas,  that would be the dumbest thing ever.  A few weeks before christmas is a good idea.

haha!
man, I think they reload every page of GNR foruns every 5 minutes
 ;D

Nah, it's phil collins' Two Hearts

Two Hearts, and just one mind
Livin together, til the end of time

Who was the Man that wrote this letter.

Lets see   Secret burgers(secrets songs) not listed on menu yet (not on the track list of what we know?) from firefly (chinese democracy).


Theres also parts in this letter that may be sayin that Axl might be on the new Tool cd.     The part where its says maynard makes his own comments about it.   

There is something to this letter, not excatly sure if it is regarding CD or the new Tool CD which is comin soon also.

Its a damn riddle

The whole thing is rather ambiguous.

what about he?s not talking anything about GNR and is talking about the next Tool album? ( couse Tool fans don?t need to try to understand riddles about the next GNR cd )

i see what ur sayin,  but y would they pull it off there own site then.

couse GNR fans are fucked in the head and will try to kidnap him to force him explain the fucking story ?!

This is all so surreal.  I honestly feel that we are all showing signs of sensory deprivation.  There is such little news, our imaginations are revved up.  We are seeing riddles where there is nothing.  We are seeing images from 100's of years ago and relating them to Axl.  The madness doesn't seem to stop!

Killingvector, nice Phil Collins spot!  2 hearts, awesome!  Was the 2 of hearts I mentioned Stacy Q or Nu Shooz??   I'm off the deep end.

 :-[ 

didnt the drummer from Tool play with GNR before Brain joined???

He sure did.

AxlForPrez....i totally totally totally agree with you.


we're looking way to deep into things. its sad. we're all too devoted. we're actually nuts.

I thought it was a sarcastic, satire type deal but judging by the metaphors and the translations, it sounds pretty fucking exciting

the whole christmas ordeal and the presents under the tree

thats genius.

It was there, on the table that I saw a dozen or so Styrofoam 'to go' boxes, each with special instructions scrawled in ink.

Completed Songs / Disks?

These, it turned out, were secret burgers (i.e. not listed on the menu) from Firefly, those that are currently both Adam and Danny's favorite burger (which yours truly turned them on to, thus giving away another of the world's great secrets).

GNR tracks nobody knows about yet, Adam and Danny?s favourite band at the moment, which the author? turned them on to. One of the world?s greatest secrets - hmmm

"Even the burgers are secret" I uttered as they checked the Styrofoam lids in order to determine which secret burgers belonged to whom.

?

Axl was in the kitchen, peering into the refrigerator, looking for the ingredients to make a crude secret sauce, the color of which reminded me of the gooey stuff slathered on Dogs N? Suds burgers (an all but forgotten Midwest chain of drive-ins with carhops).

Dogs N? Suds (an all but forgotten Midwest chain of drive-ins with carhops) ? Not a coincidence, has to be Guns N? Roses

Axl trying to create a special sound/ album, the sound of which reminds the author of old Guns N? Roses

This prompted a discussion of gut rumbles from the past, and, in that Axl grew up in the Midwest (from some paradise city in Indiana, I think), he was quite familiar with those rather unremarkable Dogs N? Suds charbroiled burgers all dressed up with their secret sauce (yep, just like those in Fast Times at Ridgemont High). In fact, on this starry Christmas evening, it seemed as if he was maybe even attempting to duplicate the Dogs N? Suds secret.

Axl familiar with Dogs N? Suds (reference to GNR again). Maybe trying to replicate that special ?something? which made Guns N? Roses great

A traditional X-mas dinner with all the trimmings (traditional save for the fact that the turkey had TWO hearts, a little detail that I wouldn't be able to share with you had Axl's people convinced me to sign a confidentiality agreement) was served well after midnight, and then around 3:00 AM (if memory serves me right) lots of presents under the tinsel-festooned tree were opened (many of them being of a robotic nature). There was even a couple under there with my name on them, meaning that Axl had a pretty good personal assistant!

Traditional, but two singers/albums? ? I?m thinking more two albums.

After midnight? (this would be christmas day) The timing may have some relevance, not sure what.

The presents have to be songs (some with industrial influence/buckethead influence)

Couple with the authors name on ? stuff he?s worked on / Axl wants him to work on?

With the story over, and Firefly secret burgers duly impressing all those newbies

The guys like the new songs/material.


Notes: The Christmas story either represents the author first hearing the songs and being asked to work on them (?There was even a couple under there with my name on them?), or it represents the release of the album(s).

Crazy notion mode: ON ? 1). Is it possible that it is a double album?, 2). Could one disc have Buckethead on, and one be without Buckethead?

Haha ? now I?ve got you thinking?? anybody?

Come on, someone has to buy it.... right?

@#$%Funker

well.....let me join the nonsence........? ;D

I think he means the different guitar parts, solo's... songs. Which one wrote this, which one wrote that. Who's playing this solo or rhythm? Is it Buckethead?......naah sounds too much Queen-ish.........oh my god.....Brian May!? ;) Just kidding.....or not.... I think he means guest appearances as well.....so it's hard too tell at first who's at it in the songs....and that would be fucking cool.

Now shoot me. I'm nuts  :hihi:

what would be really funny is if all that was really about turkeys and sauce :)

this is turning out to be an awsome topic, i love to think that the burgers are songs etc. i would never have thought about that..., i just thought it was just a stupid christmas story with the nice twist of not making axl look like an asshole! : ok:

are we still hoping for a 05 christmas release? ::)

duplicate the old Guns n' Roses secret perhaps? rumbles from the past n stuff..



the turkey had TWO hearts.. CD having two discs?

oh, and this is supposed to talk about a "few years ago" event ?
or is the "few yers ago" thingie also a riddle .. ?

Nope, that was Josh Freese. He is the drummer in A Perfect Circle... Maynard James Keenan (Tool singer) second band... Danny Carey is the drummer in Tool. Maybe the best drummer ever!

My mistake, I could have sworn Josh Freese also played in Tool..

I was sceptical at first, but this made me think the story might really be about CD. He knows people aren't allowed to talk about it...

Very entertaining!  :D

I wander why it was removed from Tool's website   ???  its not as if there was anything factual in it

Are the Tool fans discussing it on their website?





 

apc, tool, who cares they both sound exactly the same :P

Burgers can be songs, and they don't know who to credit ? or who wrote which song? Idunno

I'm gunna go out on a limb and guess that the story about being at axl's house during xmas was really a story about being at axl's house during xmas.  :o

Agree   :P ::)

Thats the same as saying that Velvet and Guns sounds axactly the same..

Since it's from the Tool....it must be something! Yay, Scabbie! Even if not, it's entertaining at least!

A sign of sensory deprivation would be the case when we reached to the point we can?t even enjoy this little puzzle!


The letter is still there in the site, save for the bit on "another of the world's great secrets". Apparently the letter is about the upcoming album of Tool overall and reference to a certain Christmas evening was brought up for the secret burger connection as a parenthesis. (but maybe more).

Yea, it's ambiguous- double entendre... Also I notice there's quiet a few Ws in this piece. 2 secret burgers (one from Firefly(Tool?) and the other with Axl's secret sauce), to duplicate the D N' Ss secrets, two hearts, ?a couple of pressies with tool's webmasters name. Any more?....W Axl rose :P.

"Bullet proof Monk" is an actual film and may also stand for something irreversible?......a final mix?
Then again this part must be back on tool's new album. (see, how these parts weren't removed from the newsletter!)

So, I think the removed bit is indeed about GN'Rs CD....well, probably the past state of it.

What do you mean by a 'W'?

2 things that really confuse me:

bullet proof monk
fast times at ridgemont high


are these 2 movies relevant in this story or completly meaningless? any thoughts?

I mean "double",  :-[

hoosier, how about my idea? bullet proof=irreversible...and Monk can be monkey that may stand for music......


I thought it a name of some burger shop....a US thing?

Wow,
I bet the people in Tool world would be having a good laugh about how much people are reading into this.

Maybe Axl is recording at the same studio as Tool? Perhaps that's the "Secret" meaning of this story being brought up.

When it comes to this, more than those 2 movies are meaningless; much more...

But hey, many of you seem to be having fun with this, so  :-\

Fooding of ideas!
that is
at least better than flooding their mailbox!  :-\

First of all when he was talkinga bout the burgers he was talking about tool's new album, i.e. making a joke. As in, "I know tool's new album is secret, but in the studio, even the burgers are secret!"

There's nothing here guys. When CD is gonna be released you will know about it, not have to decode tool's webmasters blogs.

NOTHING IS GOING ON, GET OVER IT!! NOTHING GOING ON!!!

~KYI

So, why did I bring up that Christmas spent with Axl Rose (Toolies and TA)? Well, I can tell you that, even though it might not seem to be the case, there's a bit more going on here than just grease stains from a secret burgers, vintage or otherwise.

^yea that clearly says theres "nothing to read into"


anyway, what i gatherd from it was basicly Maynard and Axl had worked together on Chi Dem and the new songs sound like old school GNR (secret sauce) .
*"dogs n suds" as stated before is clearly GNR.
*"burgers" are songs.
*the "turkey with 2 hearts" is a 2 disk album
*"dinner with all the trimmings was served"- listened to final/finished version of Chi Dem

the "bullet proof monk" and "fast times..." referances still confuse me though. bullet proof monk came out in 2003, fast times... came out in '82. the "referance" to that has to have something to do with the movie/soundtrack. "bulletproof monk" may just actually be nothing, but...

(paraphrasing->) "we all watched bulletproof monk which gave Maynard a chance to add commentary. i wished someone had a video camera to document". did Maynard add vocals to a GNR song with or without someone video taping? hmm..

he also said "axl, his brother, female assistant, pitman, and hiself" was there. i had no idea Axls brother was involved with the band at all. other things i dont get..

*firefly
*"for a vicious thrill lets not forget those frys, which dont travel well"
*the "needed unit" and "peice of equipment"

now hang on to your butts cause im really too much into this, but just for the hell of it i wrote down all the numbers and letters mentioned as a math problem, kinda.

12 3 X 2  12:00(midnight) 3:00am......3x2=6. and 12/6/05 is a tuesday. and with that, im going to bed for some much needed sleep :hihi:

Obviously the two hearts thing means that GNR and tool are now one. Two hearts beating inside one body. So that means that CD will sound like Tool. Have a hard edge like tool. And abviously Chris Pittman worked and wrote on CD, and we all know that he played with tool, so thats why Chris was brought in. Of course, kitchen means studio, so when he arrived he was in the studio, working on CD. OBVIOUSLY, dog's N suds is GNR, because of the "N" and the fact that there couldn't possibly be a real chain of places called that. (Oh wait there is...) Since you finish food with a sauce, it means that Axl is putting the finishing touches on CD because he's searching for the sauce.

And the dinner HAS to absolutely be him listening to the album, because we all know that serving a large meal with all different kinds of side dishes and shit isn't tradition on Christmas. SO it HAS to be CD.

And as stated, Maynard did vocal work on the album. I mean, they watched a crappy 3 year old movie, it has to mean that, right? What else could it mean? Shit, I MYSELF watched a crappy movie once, and nobody video taped it either, so it must mean that Maynard and Axl are best pals! OH SHIT! MONK! CHINESE DEMOCRACY! I can't believe I'm the first to say it? Maynard, the author, and Axl all sat around and watched BP Monk! Or, should I say, worked on CD! It all makes sense! Of course, we're talking about Maynard and co watching the movie recently, not several christmases ago, but it still makes sense. I mean, who watches crappy movies while eating food who's NOT working on Chinese Democracy!

Axl's brother was there! HOLY SHIT! HIS FUCKING FAMILY WAS HANGING OUT WITH HIM ON A MAJOR HOLIDAY! IN A NON-GNR INVOLVING CAPACITY! WOW! He's probably the new co-lead singer. Stuart, Maynard, and Axl are all gonna be lead vocalists on CD! YES I CAN'T WAIT!

The above statements make 100% total sense.

Unless of course you consider that he was telling a story he knew to his friends when they were eating burgers in the studio one night, watching a crappy movie waiting for someone to come back with something they needed....YEARS LATER!

You're an idiot. Serisouly.

~KYI

sounds like you're into this

why has noone picked up on the fact that this article is calling the album a Turkey is that part cryptic too  :confused: :nervous:

first of all, nothing indicates that Maynard is singing on Chidem, that's wishful thinking, and let me add....THANK GOD ..

if gnr ends up sounding like TOOL, I'm gonna become a basher, burn the copies and start a riot wearing a SLASH t-shirt, , If it sounds like OMG on the other hand, -Industrial but in an Axl way- then I'll be allright with it.

 :rofl:

And to anyone that didn't get it, I was joking.

~KYI

dude check it out,  Its a doulble album. The first disc being CD and the second disc being the redone version of appetite.  Thats the vintage part there talkin about.

Thats a brilliant idea blasphemer, I truly hope Axl thinks about it.

Ok, this is sad. These people who posted in this thread REALLY need some news, positive or negative.

There is obviously something enigmatic about the story but CD isn't the JFK assasination, it isn't a loch ness monster....."OMG I SAW NESSIE BUT THERE IS NO EVIDENCE!", put up or shut up. Trying to transform procrastination into some kind of conspiracy is ridiculous.

Stop driving yourself crazy over riddle-like stories.

K i hadn't read this thread till today, but it is a bit intriguing.

my thoughts... maybe it has nothing at all to do with GnR maybe it is all about Tool.

I assume it's written by this Blair(?) guy, who is he? Looks like he has something to do with the site, or Tools management? dunno

any way maybe he got to preview the album a couple years ago? and it was 3hrs long (midnight to 3am?)

Axl maybe appears on the new tool album (as someone already said)

Tool was asked to comment on CD and maynard helped with it?

12 styrofoam containers? 12 tracks on CD, on tool's new album?

Turkey had two hearts? - UH, Tool and CD released on the same day? When is Tool's new album due in stores?

ok ... having read the orig post again..... Whoever wrote the story (Blair?) gets to tool's studio to hear some new tool songs recently, he receives a new version of CD with 12 tracks (Special instructons = Track names? or "for your ears only"?).

This event prompts him to tell the story of how he got a chance to go to Axls to hear rough version of CD a while ago with Pittman.  When they arrived Axl was in the studio recording something that sounded like old GnR (The Blues? gooey ballad?). then Blair had second thoughts cuz he didn't care for Old GnR too much.  After Axl was done in the studio they listened to CD. it was 2 disks and around 3hrs long and Blair got to keep a couple copies for himself (which Danny and Adam both liked).

After this story they all listen to the "new" version of CD and they are all impressed with what they hear.

Bullet proof monk was them really watching the movie..  whatever i don;t think it is relevant to the story, just thrown in to add to the cryptic nature of the newsletter. I don't think that Maynard had anything to do with CD.  The post, IMHO, is only to say that they have heard CD and like it and they don't know when it will be released.

Maybe? Why would a dude post info about GNR on a Tool's official webpage? Come on guys, please give it up.

~KYI

I think it has nothing to do with anything and he is making fun of axl. He probably did spend christmas with axl, but the rest of it sounds like a total sarcastic clever joke to me. You are all reading way way too much into it i think..... But then again...why would they pull it from their site? Ill bet they had more Gnr fans getting on there than ever so they had no reason too remove it....more reason to leave it there i say.

Well, I think it has something to do with something. After all who the fuck eats cheeseburgers on christmas.  2nd Im not driving myself crazy with this, its more like im having fun with it.  Maybe it just bothers the haters cause there to braindead to figure out riddles.

Exactly, blasphemer.

As I said earlier, the letter is not removed. It's still there except for the "a few years ago" bit. Only the part referring to Axl was taken off from the newsletter.

My guess is that it is indeed about the past and maybe things have changed about in the last few years.

"hater"? hah!

That's not a "riddle" buddy....it's a joke. And you guys are making yourself a joke for taking it as a cryptic message meant for GNR fans.

Do you think you will hear bells when you guess the right meaning behind it? Will you win a car? Or will you be ultimately where you were before you tried to "decode" it? Confused and still wondering about CD. Things that make ya go "hmmmmmmm".....

Man, that's the way life goes. We never have a definite answer.

Dear people!
I Posted this because i saw it on Tool website just after it was updated. I saw a GNR/Axl mention, and wanted to share it with you.
You can analyzy it in whatever way you want. But the fact is, that its only a story BMB from the Toolsite told his friends in Tool. There may
or may not be a hidden point in it.. Who knows, but does it actually matter...? In the end we will know about it anyway. Its just a matter of
time. I think things like this can be abit fun. Its so damn quiet on GNR forum thease days anyway! So.. Let the people reading this Think for themselves,
 and dont judge or bash for having a bit of fun. Most likely there is nothing in this, but who the hell knows...? The thing that caught me eye was the last line "that there may be more in this than......" But people, please dont get over excited and take this for "very likely" coz i dont think it is...!
I guess we are all hungry on something from GNR now, and i feel the time is close now. So, lets have a bit fun with our conspirations. But dont make it to
just another letdown...!

 - Nytunz -

this is one of the coolset threads in a long time, and i for one is really happy you posted it! cheers  : ok:

lets keep the speculations going! :yes:

 - Nytunz -

this is one of the coolset threads in a long time, and i for one is really happy you posted it! cheers? : ok:

lets keep the speculations going! :yes:

I couldn't agree more.

Thank you people!
I really apriciate your comments.
Anyway! I dont know if im the onlyone, But i got a mail from Blair (The Tool) Webmaster.
And i will post it if its, ok for him and anyone else.

a message from Blair M Blake
 
I was made aware by an emailer that i had been quoted in a Forum by you,? which led to some
misguided insights.
 
Hear ye, Hear ye all misquided Devils!
 
It seems the little Kittens have run amok in their litter with a fresh new turd jeweled spectacle!
 
It gives me great pleasure to write for the Tool newsletter and to provide readers with challenges and intellectual mind fodder which can be based on fact/myth stimuli's, which
is unique and unusual for most fan sites.? I am greatful for all the positive feedback from such
cogent readers.? ?And for the readers who can't quite decipher the stories being told,? i like to
privately explain into a layman's interpretation [i need to get laid!] the story, rather than to be quoted out of context, which seems to have bred idle fantasies.
 
The story in the current newsletter is based as such:
CONCEPT:? A day in the Recording studio with the band Tool.
 
The story begins as i walk into the studio and am firstly approached to sign a confidentiality
agreement drawn up by the powers-that-be.? I find this greatly amusing as i am privy to much
more guarded secrets than what could possibly be going on in some boring recording studio!
 
PREMISE:? What could be such a secret that I would have to sign an agreement for?
? ? It is obvious that i couldnt take any music from the session, so what could it be?
? ? the story unfolds:? ?an assistant brings them food into the studio,? it is privately labeled
? ? hamburger boxes with mysterious scribblings on the boxes.
? ? THESE MUST BE THE SECRETS!!!!? ? The Secret Hamburgers.
 
I inform the Readers that i will veil the secret clues within the stories of hamburgers. clever huh?? ? ? ? [the actual secrets encoded are actually the names of the new tool songs], don't
tell anyone!
Now the riddled stories begin.? Just try for yourself to seperate fact from myth to rhymes and
tales.? ?Where am I?? Who is that?? did what?
Now do you get it?? ? reasonable enough?? spelled out?? ?It couldn't be simpler.
 
The reason the small excerpt about Axl was taken out, was because it was not providing the proper clue for the reader to decipher,? no one was getting it,? instead it was being used
as absolute fact by tainted nut gatherers, and nothing else from the story was being considered.
This led to much mindless babble on some unrelated? forum.? ?Remember what the story was about?? ? ?didn't think so.
 
So, to burst your tiny bubbles,? there are no Lee Harvey Oswalds here.? I'm quite sure no one in the band has ever met Axl Rose, or know what he's up too, or even really cares as they are so busy into their misadventures as well!
 
Sorry for any misunderstandings
BMB


So i got this email from BMB! I think this is Great of him to do!!!!

what a fuck is happening ?!

Hey atleast we know its not about Axl and his record. Anyways its about the tool record.

Oh yeah, NOW we know. I fucking told you guys like 2 days ago.

~KYI

 :crying: I wanna die  :crying:

I knew all along who you were...

(http://www.cedmagic.com/featured/christmas-carol/1954-xmas-humbug-scrooge.jpg)

or he could just have taken back what he first said just to make sure he won't get fucked over for breaching the confidentiality agreement eh... ;)

So why would he write about Axl?

Interesting thread people! lol n I actually read the whole thing.

So, can someone tell me who the assistant is?  A producer maybe I am guessing? lol

i have no been in contact with the Webmaster, and there is nothing to read into this story! So i guess thats it then....

 - Nytunz -

The riddle was a mirage.....

Stare at the clouds long enough and you will start to see cartoon characters. Some of you fooled yourself into believing the story was meant for GNR fans. It wasn't and some of us(who aren't braindead) noticed that.

So bring forth the "hater" label for those of us who didn't jump in on the caravan of fools.