Here Today... Gone To Hell!

This guy is a posting legend on the HTGTH. I think it's time we roast his ass. D, I've known you long enough now and I think it's time........

Lets keep it in good fun....

I'll start:

How do you know the toothbrush was invented in Kentucky?

A: If it was invented anywhere else it would be called a TEETHbrush!

 :hihi:

HAHAHAHAHAHA

better make this a great roast cause SLC you are next


for every roast I get a reply though


Q.what do u call SLC in a room with sheep?


A.  Happy

NO sir.

You sit and take it like a man.

You can come for me, if you roast my ass. (When this is done) but until then, sit back and get roasted.....

Lets go people! Let him have it!

 :hihi:

After meeting D, I've decided I am in favor of abortion in cases of incest...

Ok I won't roast back

enjoy everyone

but 1 rule

Dont be corny

If u gonna do this, do it right!

C'mon, where are all the hard hitters?

Lets go.

******

D was so ugly as a baby that........












 his mom had to be drunk to breast feed him........ :hihi:

D is so ugly......

he pushed his face in the doe to make gorilla biskits at the factory!! :yes:

thats how ugly he is!!!!

This is a horrible thread.... i like D


but ok ok....

D is so Putred that people get out of the water when he goes for a swim,

none of his friends want to be seen wit him,

He sits at his PC all day

trying to freshin his breath with nasal spray,

one hand on the keyboard the other on his dick,

His Grandmar mite get jelous so he has to do it quick.

She didnt like it when she picked up the  smelly sticky sock

so she grabed his ruler and snapped it on his long and skinny cock.

He has a nice girl called journey who must like him a bit

And he keeps a telling me how he wants to suck her tit

all in all i think he is a nice guy

all the things that i just said are a bunch of FUCKING LIES



Peace Out D - Your cool :)

(http://www4.islanddefjam.com/media/bonjovi/jbjae.jpg)

D was seen running around in his superman underoos the other day. Witnesses to this horrible scene said it looked like a squirrel trying to escape from a Crown Royal bag.

I've heard people describe D as quite the wit. Well they were half right.

D is so dumb he got hit by a parked car

D is so dumb that he tripped over a wireless phone.

Its been said that everybody hates D but thats not true. He hasnt met everyone yet

D's so ugly that when he was born the doctor turned him upside down and said look conjoined twins

HOT

i usually couldn't care less, but on this one, he is FIRING HOT  :love: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool: :drool:

All I'm gonna say about D is: Does anybody remember when he "invited" those Bon Jovi fans here to keep Jon in that survivor thing?  ;D




/jarmo

A cowboy dyin' of thirst walks into a bar n' says
"geez im so thirsty i could like the sweat of a cows balls"

the D said......."MOO MOO"





D n' his gay lover were walkin' down the beach one day when all of a sudden his lover falls to the ground screaming of pain, "AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH"HHHHHHH" he screams. "Theres some  pains in my arse, its fuckin' burning me...AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!"
D, concerned about his partner, screams "What do i do hun!!, call an ambo?"
"Just reach in there and fiddle around  for me" he replys.
"R' you serious???" says D.
"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH babe, somethings in there and its killing me!!!"
D does what he askes and plunges right up there, and is stund when he can feel something.
"I can feelsomething real hard in there hun" says D.
"WELL PULL IT OUT PULL IT OUT FUCKING NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he screams............

D is confused as fuck when the object he pulls out he a Rolex watch.

his lover jumps up and says with joy...................."happy birthday hunny Dee Dee : ok:

This is a sign next to where D grew up.


(http://tinypic.com/aox8gp.jpg)

It was after he "went hunting" and shot 5 fuckin' cows!!!!  :hihi:

Here is D's "Love Bon Jovi-Kentucky Chapter" In full swing. This is their annual meeting.


(http://tinypic.com/aoxdw9.jpg)

(http://tinypic.com/aoxguo.jpg)

" Da Bears.....Sausage links.......Weights......Jon Bon Jovi........Polish Sausage............."

I think it's in poor taste that you guys make fun of D for liking Bon Jovi.? I mean...lots of 12 year old girls like Bon Jovi...and we all know D loves those 12 year old girls!? Bon Jovi is like a freaking chick magnet for him.

But seriously, now.....how in the hell can you possibly pick on the poor guy.? Don't you know it's rude to pick on the mentally challenged?? He can't help the way he is...jeesh.? I mean..how'd the guy ever have a chance....

I was talking to D the other night on the phone and he was telling me how his mother was out shopping the other day and bought his cousin an X-box for his birthday.? About 10 minutes later, D said he really needed to go and I asked him why he was off in such a hurry.? He said "Didn't you listen to what I said?? I got an X-box for my birthday!"? I mean, how can you pick on a mentally challenged guy who IS HIS OWN COUSIN?

Can you imagine the family reunions when/if D ever brings one of those 12 year old girls home?? "Hon, I'd like to introduce you to my mom, aunt, dad, uncle, and cousin"...and there's only the 4 of them in the room?? And you guys want to make fun of the poor son of a bitch?

I mean, the guys got it tough enough, dontcha think?? He's so dumb, I hear that he was driving down to Florida a few weeks back, going to Disneyworld for a little vacation (His dad let him turn in all his empties to fund the trip).? D was going to do it first class.? 5 star hotel, park hopper passes, big Mickey ears to attract those 12 year old girls...the whole shooting match.? As he was driving down the highway, just miles from the gates, he saw a HUGE sign that said "Disneyworld Left".....so he turned around and went home.? The poor mentally challenged guy, who is his own cousin, actually though that Disneyworld had LEFT the state of Florida.? ?And you guys want to pick on the poor mentally challenged, stupid, lonely guy who is his own cousin?? Pathetic.

And, I mean, it's not like the guy has any friends.? Hell, his parents pay people to talk to him (btw, D, tell Mom the check is late).? I hear they've spent so much money that D's Daddy is going to have to lay off the sauce a bit, and not buy that 12 pack every day.? But don't worry, D,...he'll still be buying that 24 pack, so you'll still have those empties to cash in for the big trips every couple of months.? And you guys want to pick on the mentally challenged, stupid, lonely, poor, friendless guy who happens to be his own cousin (and who really likes 12 year old girls)?? Really...I've seen deplorable acts on this message board (and, come to think of it, D has been involved in a number of them...like the time he posted the pictures of him and that donkey down in Tijuana..which, btw D, I've been told the donkey is STILL undergoing animal counciling over), but nothing this low.? Jeesh!

 ;D

 :rofl:

I've heard it was 12 year old boys not girls? :nervous:

Anyway to lazy to think up any good insults so....I'll post pics instead

---

D as a child
(http://tuberose.com/Graphics/supersized%20kids.jpg)

I thought he ate at KFCs, I was wrong

---

His first and only job, Moose man
(http://www.monsffa.com/monsffa_photos/MooseMan_BKR/images/MooseMan_BKR_023.jpg)

The guy really likes mooses

---

A recent picture
(http://www.vembos.gr/images/fat_people.jpg)

D hanging with the other 4 members of the bon-jovi forum, D's the one in the aqua/green, I'm not sure why he's looking down his pants with such horror

---

My job is done

 :smoking: Izzy? :smoking:

Awesome Pic Conny!

Nice roasting so far

MOO MOO

Holy shit!

(http://tinypic.com/aoxguo.jpg)

Ha ha ha ha. You dumb bastard. It's not a schooner... it's a Sailboat

 :hihi: :hihi: :hihi: :hihi: :hihi: :hihi: :hihi: :hihi: :hihi:


to answer your signature Kujo

Balls deep :hihi:

Remember when D went to Las Vegas to party? It didn't go too well for him.

Even the hooker told him she had a headache!!!!

At first i thought you had the IQ of an ice scraper, but then it occured to me that an ice scraper has 2 things you dont: Direction and purpose.

When they were handing out brains, you thought they said 'trains' and asked for a slow one.

I wonder what you are going to do for a face when the babboon wants its ass back.

Last time i saw a belly like that i was given a stocking full of presents.

After reading your previous two posts I was wondering if you could write more than a one sentence retort or does the time it takes to figure out a comeback cut into your worktime at the shelteredworkshop. Retard.

You need to get a life outside of the internet. Go outside, look around. I'm sure trailer parks smell lovely in the morning.

Are you a professional ass-clown, or is this your first public audition?

If ignorance was bliss, than your entire life would be a perpetual orgasm.

What is the smallest muscle in a sheeps ass? Apparently your dick.

Some people drink from the fountain of knowledge but it looks as if you just gargled.

Your incompetence is an inspiration to idiots everywhere.

Why is it that the people with the smallest minds always have the biggest mouths?

You must have a very large brain, to hold so much ignorance.

Wouldn't clues have more room to fit in your head if you got rid of some of the shit in there?

You should learn from your parents mistakes - try using some birth control.

Next time you shave, try standing an inch or two closer to the blade.

Diarrhea of the mouth; constipation of the ideas.

Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you'd had enough oxygen at birth?

D comes from a family line of not too smart people.

During the civil war his great granddaddy fought for the west!!

 :rofl:

hahaha no no he thought it was teh west... it was actualy canada.... LOL

On this special occasion where we roast our "friend" D, I thought it would be special to bring someone back from his past. I searched long and hard and I think I found just the right person. Ladies, Gentleman and Jarmo put your hands together and welcome the woman that D lost his virginity to...........................












(http://usera.imagecave.com/larryphats/image001-3.jpg)

Be careful Journey, I hear shes single again and ready to mingle after breaking up with August 18th :hihi:

First of all, I want to mention that this thread seems a little redundant to me, since any time I'm responding to D on this board, it's a roast.  He makes it too easy for me.

What do you get when you have 32 men from Kentucky in a room?

A full set of teeth.



How does D initiate foreplay?

"Hey jon, you awake?"

Holy shit!!!

The last two posts were TRAGIC!!!

 :hihi: :hihi:

Well D thought for years that he had lost his virginity.....

Turned out years later it was not counted because it was a hanging chad......

that is just wrong :o

God damn that made my stomach turn, ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, is that a small child under her dress?


Nasty

sad thing is Kujo jacks off to that picture


OK OK back to the roast.

Hey, you can't roast others during your own roast!

D is so ugly that....

- He was placed in a incubator with tinted windows after birth
- He killed the docter that pulled him out of his mom when he gazed upon his face

D is so stupid that....

- He thought a quarterback was a discount to a sports event

And i cant think of anymore at the moment cuz im tired as hell. All jokes D, nothing personal.

D is also the founding member of the Mr Miyagi fan club.

This is the poster he has right next to his bed, between Jon Bon Jovi and Kirk Cameron pin ups.

(http://tinypic.com/apfajp.jpg)

when D turned 8 he recieved a special card:

"Son, we are proud that you are special because you still have 12  teeth, 10 more than usual. don't ever gove up trying to be better than everybody else. we love you. Mr. and Mrs. D"

 :hihi:

Donnie does haiku:

"Exuberance"

Joyous, playful, bright
Trailer park girl rolls in puddle
Of old motor oil

"Remorse"

A painful sadness
Cain't fit big screen TV through
Double-wide's front door

"Drama"

Set the VCR
Dukes of Hazard Marathon
Starts at 9 O'Clock

"Beauty"

Naked in repose
Silvery silhouette girls
Adorn my mudflaps

"Mother And Child"

Crusted in boogers
Stained with Kool-Aid, baby has face
Only Mama loves

"Options"

Unemployment's out.
Hey, maybe I can git on
Disability

These quotes are from a topic started by D:? Tips On Being A Moderator





Talk about "pot calling kettle black"? ::)

Is this the bashing D thread?  ???, If so, can I say Bon Jovi sucks so D gets angry?  :hihi:

I was talking to D the other day about old television programs and I brought up Hee Haw. I was surprised to find out he didnt know what this show was. I later realised that in Kentucky they changed the name of "Hee Haw' to "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous"

I stayed at D's house one time. One day he was out and I called him on his cell phone and said "I've got a leak in the kitchen sink". He said "Go ahead"

I could tell D was dating again because there was dried tobacco spit on both sides of his pick-up truck.

I was trying to talk D into going to see the new Batman movie but he said we couldnt go unless we got 16 more people. I asked him what the hell he was talking about and he said the sign at the theater says 17 and under not admitted.

A normal response after D issues his pick-up line:

"I'm sorry, but I'm not your type, I'm not inflatable."



D spent longer than usual making his breakfast this morning.  It took him 20 minutes to make the orange juice because the label said "concentrate."



Comments heard from D's bedroom:
"Awww that's so cute."
"You have a pimple below your belly button, I'll get you some Clearasil."
"Does that come with an air pump?"

HAHAHAHHAHA these are hysterical!

I liked the one Kujo bout the leak in the kitchen sink and the tobacco spit on both sides of the truck.

The concentrate one was great also Tied Up

Dont fret though Tied up

the Roast of Tied Up is on my radar screen after the roasts of SLC and Kujo.



Gypsy Soul that guy on that board always insults me and is just a total knob so I think it wouldve been funny to ban him and make him lose all those posts.

Do to an incident  that involved two sheep ,D's high school nickname was "finger cuffs."

 :crying:? IT'S A ROAST!!!? YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO TAKE WHAT I SAID TO HEART!!!? I WAS JUST TRYING TO USE YOUR OWN WORDS AGAINST YOU BECAUSE YOU HAVE OVER 6000+ POSTS LIKE THAT GUY!!!? :crying:



*gypsy crawls under rock to hide for hurting somebody's feelings*? :-[

3 aboriginals and D are in a car......who's driving???????....


the cops!!

I was just explaining why, I didnt know that was part of the roast

and get it right I got over 7,600! :hihi:

Gypsy if what's been said already hasnt hurt my feelings, what u said isnt, so get out from under that rock and roast!!!!! :hihi: :hihi:

I got nothing to roast ya with D......but who is next??? ;)

Scientists were planning to interbreed humans and barn-yard animals including cows, sheep, and chickens, but were disapointed when a farm very close D's home in Kentucky was crawling with them. D recalls spending many long, hot, summer days in that barm with certain "indivudials", the police report... :hihi:  :P

D posed for Playgirl a while back, many people don't know this.

Don't bother picking the copy up however....the staples covered everything!

 :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

SLC is next and I am as happy as Kujo at a horsemating farm, Im gonna rip his asshole wider than it has already been ripped!!!!

Speaking of that....

Here is a picture of D playing fetch with his dog.........

(http://tinypic.com/auwagw.jpg)

Here are some kid pictures from D's scrap book. The first  one is him in gradeschool with a friend. He was asked to do something for mother's day:

(http://tinypic.com/auwap5.jpg)

This next one was D at "the kids table" taken during the holidays. Obviously things are bit different down in Kentucky...

(http://tinypic.com/auwb41.jpg)

Well D's been a great sport about all this, thanks D.

So, for the end I'll give you Rip Taylor throwing confetti...............


(http://tinypic.com/awe1d2.jpg)



 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Thanks D!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Roast is over!


Great roast everyone, I just got loaded with enough material to destroy my friends for years to come.

We had a UFC party last night, and I have a friend that I always get into cut down fights with

I used a bunch of shit from this roast and knocked him out in about 2 minutes, he couldnt come back.


Thanks everyone for participating, I hope everyone had a great time and got a lot of laughs

Now all of u go play in traffic blindfolded! :hihi:

I've only locked this because I figured you'd be doing another one, in a seperate thread. And now that this one's over...

But if you want this thread to stay open, just ask me...

Though, there's no point having more than one 'roasting' thread open at the same time...