Here Today... Gone To Hell!

I'm in a situation, where my actions makes me hate myself, but it's not really my bussines

One of my best friends, actually the one I porbably choose as my best man, hasn't come home from his night out. So I called him, just to ask how things are and invite him to the houswarming party and, well, he's been drinkin hard and was sleeping with some chick from his work. Could be only sleeping this time.

Anyway he asked a favor and I said sure.

Her gf asked from me on msn if I know where he is, and I told her that he came over to my place, we had a few beers and he was pretty full so he slept on the couch. Where he was still sleeping when I went to work.

His gf don't have a job, he is taking care of her financially and they have a small kid.

I hate the whole situation I'm put in, since I don't like to lie. But he's been helping me out when I've had a rough time, we've been backing each others up when ever there was a bar brawl, he's the few guys I trust my life to.

I feel that morally right would've just said that I don't know where he is, but then again I've had a shitty life because of a stepfather, so I feel it would be better that their kid would have her biological parents around.

Before everyone bash me out for what an asshole I've been and "Put yourself in his gf's shoes", just think of it, it seems friendship and loalty is more important to me than morality. And I do know that people can change, I'm proving that.

So which is more important loalty or morality?

Discuss.

I wouldnt say anything to her.? I would talk to him.? Explain your predicament, and tell him that you morally you cant cover for him when he does this stuff.? I certainly wouldnt tell her.? Not unless you are willing to dump your friendship with him.? The best way to help the child is to try to convince him to become a man, instead of creating a rift between the child's mother and the child's father.

Having a mother who made us think our father cheated all the time and the real cheater being my mother for as long as her mariage lasted ( 36 years), i know how i grew up, i know how my brother turned out to be and if you think it's healthy for a kid to watch his mother ask herself questions about the dad and the dad never being at home when he should be raising a kid and not his penis, well, then, stay friends.

After all, true, you won't have to raise that kid yourself and when that kid is adult, you will have no responsibility in the lies, anxiety and neglect that kid felt.

Or will you ?

The best lie is " I don't know".

Loyalty is a respectable quality. And it's noble the way you cherish your friendship with him. However, it seems more like a cause of protection rather than loyalty in this situation. You're trying to protect your friend, his gf, and their child. But you're not protecting yourself. When the truth comes out about where he's been spending his nights, etc.. , his girlfriend and others will view you as a lying and untrustworthy person. Can you live with that?

without going into lengthly explanations and examples, I choose Morality....if you can't look at yourself in the mirror then what is it all worth?

I don't know........

 :hihi:

Loyalty all the way! Is better to tell your friend the stuff he's making cause is not only hurting her but making put you in a bad position (lies, covering, and stuff like that) so that's no fair at any cost. If you tell her you loose your friend and gain nothing.

yes he does, he gains respect from another human being who happens to be female.

In the long run, morality is the only way to go (imo).  However, you risk hell in the short term. 

I don't think so, respect for that human being will not cover all the years that passed, If is a lot of years, You'll defenitely loose more than you gain something, nothing in the long run will cover the past. I really think that kind of morality is a betrayal.

I think lying is a betrayal.

I have told when i cheated, i iddn't wait until someone spread awful senseless rumours.

But if someone had, he wouldn't have understood.

Yeah thats betrayal and also to talk behind your friends back, the first and only choice is to tell your friend to stop doing that kinda crap, cause he is the one you deposit your trust, I know it sounds so selfish but that's the way I think it is I mean you know your friend long before anything so anyone who come new to your circle of frined is not worth it.  :peace: