Here Today... Gone To Hell!

Apologetic Arkansas Peeping Tom Leaves Cash, Note

LITTLE ROCK, Ark. (Reuters) - An apologetic Peeping Tom in northern Arkansas left a $20 bill and a note for his victim asking if she would not mind if he peered at her outside her window, police said on Friday.

The note and the cash were found on Monday night at an apartment complex in Mountain Home, Arkansas. Police said the writer of the letter apologized for looking into the window. They said the letter appeared to have been written on a personal computer.

Police would not release the note because the case is under investigation.

"It's kind of an odd case," said Mountain Home police Sgt. Nevin Barnes.

---

Intoxicated Man Seeks Job With Police

ORCHARDS, Wash. - A man who stopped by Washington State Patrol headquarters to ask about a job didn't get what he wanted ? but he did find out how a hand-held alcohol tester works.
   

Robert Gulley, an unemployed radio technician, was ticketed for alleged drunken driving as he drove away from the patrol office in this city near Vancouver. He had asked for a job application.

"I guess it was a bad time to go there," Gulley, 25, of nearby Sifton, told The Columbian newspaper. "It was a bad judgment call."

When Gulley walked into patrol headquarters Wednesday afternoon, he was slurring his words, had glassy eyes and his breath smelled of alcohol, Trooper Maureen Crandall said.

When she told him it wasn't a good idea to apply to be a trooper while intoxicated, Gulley denied drinking, another trooper said.

So Trooper Rich Bettger, who'd overheard what was going on, offered to measure Gulley's blood alcohol level with a hand-held breath tester.

Gulley blew a 0.095, above the state's legal limit for driving of 0.08, indicating he'd had at least three drinks, March said.

Gulley said he had only had one drink ? a Long Island iced tea ? and that it likely caused a high alcohol reading because he hadn't eaten in more than a day.

When the troopers asked Gulley how he got to the station, they said he told them he'd been given a ride. The officers said they warned Gulley not to drive home.

But after leaving the office and pacing back and forth on a nearby side street for 10 minutes, Gulley got into his car and drove away, troopers said.

He was promptly pulled over and ticketed. Gulley was given two more alcohol-breath tests, which both gave readings of slightly over 0.08, Trooper Garvin March said.

The troopers then arranged for Gulley's sister to drive him home.

"I actually still want to join the police department," Gulley said. "Those guys are doing their job keeping the roads safe."

But state troopers said Gulley's career prospects with the patrol appear dim.

"I guarantee he's not going to get a job with us," March said. "We've arrested drunks in unexpected ways and places before, but this one just blew me away."

--


/jarmo

Some people are just fuckin stupid

Protect

and

Serve...

me another drink !  :hihi:

Sex change decision sparks debate

 The AMA's Bill Glasson tells Channel 9 he's surprised by the decision to allow a teen sex change. Listen to Audio

A court decision to allow a 13-year-old girl to start treatment to become a boy has sparked heated debate about the merits of gender reassignment.

Outgoing Family Court Chief Justice Alastair Nicholson gave legal approval for the child, known as Alex, to begin a sex change through hormone treatment.

In his finding, Justice Nicholson said Alex, who was a ward of the state, had become suicidal as he entered puberty and was "suffering in a body which feels alien to him and disgusts him".

The decision is the first time an Australian child who is biologically one sex has been given legal approval to begin a gender change for purely psychiatric reasons.

Alex is now legally allowed to begin medical treatment involving reversible hormonal therapies to start the sex-change process.

 
 
 
 
A further stage of hormonal treatment, with some irreversible effects such as the deepening of Alex's voice, the promotion of facial and body hair and muscular development, is allowed to start when Alex is about 16 years old.

Alex will not be able to undergo surgery until he is 18.

While ethicists were divided on the merits of Justice Nicholson's decision, one man in no doubt was Alan Finch.

Mr Finch decided to undergo a sex change to become "Helen" when he was 19, but two years after he had his penis and testicles removed he says he realised he had made a mistake.

Mr Finch is now suing Southern Health for not adequately counselling him and for encouraging him to have a sex change.

He said the decision to allow a suicidal 13-year-old to pursue a sex change was outrageous.

"How can someone who is suicidal, threatening self-harm, be capable of making a stable decision about having irreversible therapy done," he said.

Mr Finch no longer believes it is possible to have a successful sex change and says those who realise they have made a mistake are left with ruined lives.

"They are left with a body that has been mutilated, which is what has happened to me," he said.

But the director of Monash University's Centre for Human Bioethics Justin Oakley said the treatment was ethically justifiable if it was a last resort and the child was competent to make the decision.

"Thirteen-year-olds are competent to at least contribute to life-determining decisions," he said.

The fact a child was suicidal meant they needed treatment but did not necessarily mean they were not competent to make a decision, he said.

"But the best way to treat a suicidal person isn't just to start gender reassignment treatment - so that's why I would suggest it should be seen as a last resort and only if she is competent to make such a decision herself."

He said although the decision had removed the legal obstacles to the treatment, medical practitioners would still be unwilling to proceed unless they were certain it was in the child's best interests.

Australian Medical Association president Bill Glasson said doctors had been surprised by the decision.

"On one hand, last week we were talking about the fact that 13 and 14 year olds can't go and see their GP without their parents accessing their medical records," he said.

"Yet on the other hand we're saying right, this 13 year-old child can go have a sex change - so I think it is rather a mixed message."

Leading Melbourne bio-ethicist Nick Tonti-Filippini said the court's decision would send a confusing message to other adolescents struggling with the same issues.

"Adolescence is fraught with difficulty for anybody and I would be concerned about the impact (this decision would have) on other teenagers."

He said there was no evidence to show sex changes were beneficial for adults, let alone adolescents.

"The court is endorsing an experimental treatment for a psychiatric problem," he said.

"I would call on the commonwealth Attorney-General to refer this matter to a higher court."

A spokesman for Attorney-General Philip Ruddock said the child's welfare was the responsibility of the government of the state or territory in which he lived.

Yeah i read about that, every current affairs shows are all over this one

 Federal health officials have seized several dangerous pests called Giant African Land Snails from Wisconsin classrooms and have started a national search for the creatures.

Linux on Your Desktop?
Chart the rise of the anti-Windows, learn how to test-drive Linux without installing it and review the ongoing legal battle.
 
Many of the snails, which are illegal to have in the United States, were used in classrooms where school officials didn't know they were dangerous, said Willie Harris, eastern regional director of the U.S. Department of Agriculture (news - web sites)'s Safeguarding, Intervention and Trade Compliance Program.

"Based on some information we got, the schools were a common place that these snails may be found," Harris said Monday.

In the last month, the USDA seized fewer than 10 of the animals from Wisconsin cities including Big Bend, Menasha and Milwaukee. Officials have not found any others in the country but are combing pet shops and animal swap meets for the creatures.

They are concerned the snails, which also can be found in India, China, the Philippines and other countries in the region, could be transported to states with warmer climates, where they can rapidly reproduce and destroy plants. The snails are known to consume as many as 500 different plants and their mucous can transmit meningitis.

The increased surveillance began after about 150 of the Giant African Land Snails were seized in November from pet shops, schools and animal swap meets in Wisconsin.

"Some people have them as pets and may not realize that there are concerns with human health as well as with the pests themselves to agricultural production," said Nolen Lemon, a USDA spokesman.

Five of the snails were taken from Nicolet Elementary School in Menasha after teachers learned they were illegal to have, principal Linda Joosten said Monday.

A parent was given the snails and donated them to the school, where they were kept in classroom aquariums, she said.

"They were very cool creatures. But they were not to be possessed by us," Joosten said. "The bottom line is while there's a risk of health, the biggest risk is to the environment."

In 1966, a Miami boy smuggled three Giant African Land Snails into the country. His grandmother eventually released them into the garden, and in seven years there were more than 18,000 of them. The eradication program took 10 years and cost $1 million, according to the USDA.

The giant snails can hang on to cargo shipped in from other parts of the world but sometimes are smuggled in illegally for use as pets or as an exotic culinary delicacy. A single snail breeding session can produce 100 to 400 eggs.

"There's some groups that actually eat these snails. There's definite human health risks associated with that," Harris said.

Punishments for importing the snails vary depending on the seriousness of the violation, but smugglers can face fines of up to $1,000 per charge.

Harris said people who have the snails without knowing they are illegal will not face punishment if they notify authorities.

"Often people get these exotic pets and when they tire of them they'll release them into the environment. This is a significant exotic pest that can cause a lot of damage in the environment," Harris said.

Joe Donovan, a spokesman for the Wisconsin Department of Public Instruction, said the agency told school officials of the threat through its e-mail newsletter.

"We were informed by the USDA that there may be a problem with these snails in classrooms," Donovan said. "The DPI will do everything it can to ensure that Wisconsin students are safe."

People who find the snails are asked to call the anti-smuggling hot line at 800-877-3835.

Wheh....that's some exciting stuff.

Slow news day?

 :hihi:

j/k

Man Takes Neighbor to Court for Laughs


BERLIN (Reuters) - A German took his female neighbor to court for laughing too loudly. But she had the last laugh -- the judge threw out the case, saying Germany could not ban laughter, newspapers reported on Tuesday.

   

Unemployed Bernd F., 52, complained to magistrates that 47-year-old Barbara M. kept him awake with over four hours of loud laughter one evening as she enjoyed a meal with eight friends in her Berlin apartment above his, Bild daily said.


The judge dismissed the complaint of disturbing the peace, saying the woman had not broken any noise restrictions. "Laughter is a general sound of life. It will not be banned," he said.



/jarmo

Just give the EU time.......... :nervous:

doh!

A California woman claimed she swallowed a live bullet and bit into a second round while eating a hotdog, and says she has the X-rays to prove it.

Police said on Thursday they were investigating the bizarre incident the 31-year-old woman said happened at a Costco store in Irvine, California, about 47 miles southeast of Los Angeles.

"She said she had swallowed one bullet and felt another in her mouth," Irvine police Lt. Jeff Love said. "She showed us the bullet and we took it as evidence. We had them cut up all the other hot dogs and found nothing in the buns."

A spokesman for Seattle-based Costco Wholesale Corp. COST.O> said the company had no comment on the incident, which occurred on Sunday and was still being investigated.

The woman showed local television news an X-ray of her stomach with a bullet lodged in it.

Love said the Hebrew National brand hotdogs served at Costco were prepared under Kosher laws with a high standard of cleanliness, and were X-rayed before leaving the factory.

He said it appeared "highly unlikely" that a hot dog would leave the factory with an undetected bullet in it.

Plumber?s Crack Cover-Up

May 14, 2004 10:53 am US/Eastern

BATON ROUGE, La. (AP) A Louisiana state representative's idea to ban low-slung pants is making him the butt of colleagues' jokes.

When the bill came up for debate earlier this week, Rep. Derrick Shepherd, a Democrat, was met with catcalls on the House floor.

The bill would make it a crime to wear clothing in public that "intentionally exposes undergarments or intentionally exposes any portion of the pubic hair, cleft of the buttocks or genitals."

Launching a fiery speech in support of the bill, Shepherd said, "There comes a time in every society where we must draw a line of decency, where we must speak to a group of individuals who would flaunt the laws of our state, who would flaunt the morals of t my shirt on, but that's not illegal; that's just stupid," he said. "Government can't fix everything."



/jarmo

Couple wants kids, but never tried sex
Fertility clinic: 'We are not talking retarded people here'

Posted: May 18, 2004  at http://wnd.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=38538

For some people, it's important to pay attention when the birds and the bees are discussed.

Take the case of a German couple who sought help from a fertility clinic after eight years of no success having children.

The only problem was, they weren't having sex.

According to Ananova, officials at the University Clinic of Lubek said they'd never heard of a similar case after examining the couple during fertility tests last month.

After numerous examinations, doctors found both husband and wife to be fertile, and should have had little trouble in conception.

"When we asked them how often they had had sex, they looked blank, and said, 'What do you mean?'" a clinic spokesman said, according to the report.

"We are not talking retarded people here, but a couple who were brought up in a religious environment who were simply unaware, after eight years of marriage, of the physical requirements necessary to procreate."

The husband, 36, and his 30-year-old wife are now said to be undergoing sex-therapy lessons while the university clinic tries embarks on a study to determine the extent of other couples with similar circumstances.

---

Maybe they believed in the Stork  :hihi:

That is so fuckin stupid it's not funny, what idiots inhabit this earth. :rant:

Waste of oxygen :hihi:

New York eaterie offers 1,000-dollar omelette


NEW YORK (AFP) - "Norma's dares you to expense this," reads the footnote in the breakfast menu currently being offered by New York's Le Parker Meridien.


The concerned item is a 1,000-dollar, caviar-laden omelette being served by "Norma's" -- the restaurant inside the swanky midtown Manhattan hotel.


The ultimate breakfast bank-breaker is made with six eggs, chives, butter, cream, an entire lobster and 10 ounces (280 grams) of servuga caviar.


"Every six months we come up with new dishes for the menu," the hotel's general manager, Steven Pipes, told the New York Daily News. "We don't like things to get stale."


Nobody has yet risen to the challenge of ordering the omelette, with most diners more shocked than tempted by the price tag.


"I couldn't believe it was the price when I first saw '1,000' on the menu," Virginia Marnell, 59, told the newspaper. "I thought it was the calorie count. It's outrageous!."


For those of more modest means, the restaurant offers a budget alternative containing just one ounce of caviar and costing a mere 100 dollars.


"It's not just a gimmick," said Norma's executive chef Emile Castillo. "It tastes good."




/jarmo

I think this qualifies as a weird news story  ;D

'Harry Potter' stars and fans growing up
By LISA TOLIN
ASSOCIATED PRESS WRITER


NEW YORK -- The boy wizard of "Harry Potter" is growing up - and so are his fans, many of whom have replaced their old capes and wands with declarations of undying love.

Daniel Radcliffe appeared stunned by the enthusiastic reception he received Sunday from hundreds of shrieking fans who lined up outside the U.S. premiere of "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban."

"It's really amazing," the 14-year-old said, trembling a bit as he paused to wave at swooning teenage girls, some holding signs saying "Marry us, Dan!"

Even singer Rob Thomas of matchbox twenty - himself no stranger to screaming women - was taken aback.

"When Harry Potter got out I think you could actually see his hair blow back from the screams," Thomas said. "They're very excited."

It was a happy development for Rupert Grint, who plays Harry's friend Ron Weasley at the Hogwarts school and arrived at the premiere looking distinctively adolescent with a shaggy mop-top haircut.

"It's quite cool," the 14-year-old said with a grin.

Audiences can expect a more mature film this time, too. The third installment of the "Harry Potter" series takes a dark turn as the young sorcerer is sought by a murderous wizard who escapes from a prison for conjurers.

"It's more dark. A bit more edge of your seat," said 16-year-old Tom Felton, who plays Draco Malfoy in the film. "You might want to go with your mum."

Plenty of kids dragged their famous mums to the New York premiere. Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins rushed past photographers with their kids, as did ABC's Meredith Vieira.

Model Christie Brinkley snapped pictures of her husband, children and nephew together on the red carpet. "My son and I read all the books together out loud, in all the accents," she said.

Fans lined up as early as 4 a.m., 12 hours before the start of the film, to angle for an autograph or glimpse of their favorite star.

"They're amazing!" 14-year-olds Danielle Lopez and Kristin Hauser shrieked in unison. The teens from upstate New York arrived at 9 a.m. with a poster proclaiming "Every muggle deserves a hug." (That's Potter slang for non-wizards.)

Even Alan Rickman, 58, who plays sullen Hogwarts professor Severus Snape, was greeted by a marriage proposal from a somewhat older fan. "She must be desperate," he responded dryly.

As they grow into their roles as heartthrobs, the teenage "Harry Potter" stars are also giving performances with new depth, said Chris Columbus, who directed the first two "Harry Potter" movies and remained a producer on the third.

"It's much more personal, this one," said 14-year-old Emma Watson, who said her character, Hermione, has also evolved. "She's still the know-it-all and everything, but you see more depth to her and there's a different side to her."

Alfonso Cuaron - director of the Mexican hit "Y Tu Mama Tambien" - took over as director for "Prisoner of Azkaban." The result, the stars said, is a darker and more sophisticated movie than its predecessors.

Cuaron assured parents it's still the "Harry Potter" kids love.

"It's not violent. It can be spooky at points, but good spooky," he said. "Kids like to be spooked a little."

Adds Radcliffe, "I've seen it a couple of times, and the only ones scared were the adults."

---

Out with it - who's a Potter nutter?  :P

Singapore loosens 12-year chewing gum ban
The Associated Press
Updated: 9:39 a.m. ET May 26, 2004


SINGAPORE - Ultra-tidy Singapore is lifting its notorious ban on chewing gum after 12 long years ? but getting a pack won?t be entirely hassle-free. Wrigley?s Orbit gum has just started appearing in pharmacies along with several other brands. Before Singaporeans even think about unwrapping a pack, however, they must submit their names and ID card numbers. If they don?t, pharmacists who sell them gum could be jailed up to two years and fined $2,940.

The decision comes after new trade talks that included pressure from U.S. Rep. Philip Crane, R-Ill., whose state is home to gum giant Wrigley Co. Singapore has also been at pains in recent years to shed its ?nanny state? image and promote itself as a hip, cosmopolitan hub for media and the arts in Asia.

But that has proven a difficult task in a country where films and television shows are often censored, home satellite TV antennae are banned and various books, magazines and even popular songs are outlawed. Fines are levied for spitting or failing to flush public toilets.

Singaporeans, many of whom have long derided the chewing gum ban, seemed unimpressed by the change.

?It?s ridiculous that it?s easier for 16-year-olds to visit prostitutes than it is to get chewing gum here,? said Fayen Wong, a 22-year old college student. Prostitution is legal in parts of Singapore ? and no registration is required.

This Southeast Asian city-state, known for its immaculate streets, outlawed the manufacture, import and sale of chewing gum in 1992 after the country?s founding father, Lee Kuan Yew, complained that it was fouling streets, buildings, buses and subway trains.

Lee, 80, stepped down as prime minister in 1990 but still wields considerable influence.

Only 'therapeutic' gum allowed
Gum became a sticking point months ago in Singapore?s free trade talks with Washington, when Crane pressed the issue.

Singapore compromised, agreeing to allow only the sale of ?therapeutic? gum in pharmacies, and the free trade pact took effect Jan. 1.

The Health Sciences Authority, responding to questions from The Associated Press, said it has allowed the sale of 19 ?medicinal? and ?dental? gum products.

Orbit, which Wrigleys touts as good for teeth, hit pharmacy shelves just days ago. Pfizer Inc.?s Nicorette, a nicotine gum meant to help smokers kick their addiction, has been available since March.

Nicorette costs $11 for a pack of 30 pieces. A pack of Orbit goes for 94 cents.

?Why would I go through the trouble of getting nicotine gum if I can buy a pack of cigarettes without giving my name?? said Wong. ?I don?t think the new rules will help smokers to quit.?

The Straits Times newspaper, which has close government ties, reported Sunday that street cleaners have already complained about the return of spent wads of chewing gum to their once pristine pavement.

Critics of restrictions have often cited the chewing gum ban as an example of the government?s excesses.

But the partial legalization of gum is ?really a nonevent,? said Koh Beng Liang, 25, a research engineer who said he hasn?t yet bothered having a legal chew.

?Singaporeans will quickly realize it if the so-called loosening up is for foreign image, and not real change,? Koh said.

---

I lived in S'pore for about a year.  I can still remember the signs in public toilets that said you would be fined $1000 for not flushing.  They probably have automatic flushing toilets by now.

Cats & dogs living together, and... horny judges:

Here Comes The Judge

State: Bounce Oklahoma jurist for "pumping it up" on bench

JUNE 24--While seated on the bench, an Oklahoma judge used a male enhancement pump, shaved and oiled his nether region, and pleasured himself, state officials charged yesterday in a petition to remove the jurist. According to the below complaint filed by the Oklahoma Attorney General, Donald D. Thompson, 57, was caught in the act by a clerk, trial witnesses, and his longtime court reporter (these unsettling first-hand accounts will make you wonder what's going on under other black robes). Visitors to Thompson's Creek County courtroom reported hearing a "swooshing" sound coming from the bench, a noise the court reporter said "sounded like a blood pressure cuff being pumped up." Thompson, the complaint charges, even pumped himself up during an August 2003 murder trial. The AG's petition quotes Thompson (pictured above) as admitting that the pump was "under the bench" during the murder case (and at other times), but he denied using the item, which was supposedly a "gag gift from a friend." (9 pages)

From: http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0624041pump1.html (http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0624041pump1.html)

What the fuck? During a case? Weird..only in America

Wow I thought I was the only one who wore a robe and did this...... :hihi:

I guess we know now why justice is blind. :hihi: :rofl:

you really need to check out http://booble.com (http://booble.com) to get your Laugh of the Day  (it's a porn parody of Google) :hihi:

---

from: The Motley Fool

What's In a Name?
By Tom Taulli
July 8, 2004

Yesterday, Stelor Productions sent out a press release with a headline that would make a penny-stock operator proud: "Googles to Google: Stay Out of Our Space." Needless to say, the story generated instant buzz.

You see, Stelor Productions is the operator of Googles, which is the developer of alien characters known as "Googles from Goo" targeted at the kids market. The company has produced online games, stickers, CDs, toys, and even music, in a deal with Apple's (Nasdaq: AAPL) iTunes.

And what is a better way to build a brand than to bring legal action against Google, right before its highly anticipated initial public offering (IPO)? That's what happened yesterday, when Stelor Productions filed trademark proceedings with the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office.

Interestingly enough, lawsuit-as-PR is nothing new in the IPO world. For example, in 1997, on the eve of the Amazon.com (Nasdaq: AMZN) IPO, the company was served by Barnes & Noble. The claim was over whether Amazon.com was the "world's largest bookstore."

And there was CertCo's lawsuit against PayPal -- which is now a part of eBay (Nasdaq: EBAY) -- for alleged violations of its payment technologies. The IPO had to be delayed. In fact, PayPal amended its IPO filing and called the lawsuit an attempt to "disrupt our initial public offering."

As for Googles, it will have an extremely tough fight. Google is a global brand that rivals Coca-Cola and Starbucks (Nasdaq: SBUX). The value is, well, priceless, and Google will spend the resources necessary to fight for it. For example, Google recently sued Booble.com for trademark infringement. Booble.com claims it has a First Amendment right to engage in parody.

But there is one lawsuit that Google should have some concern about. In 2002, Overture sued Google for patent infringement regarding ad placements for search engines. The suit was filed against FindWhat.com (Nasdaq: FWHT), as well.

Of course, now Overture is a part of Yahoo! (Nasdaq: YHOO), which has the resources to wage a massive legal fight. Maybe this is something Yahoo! might rattle before Google's IPO?

---

beta version of GMail out now.

Woman's Dying Wish: Bush Defeated

Loved Ones Asked To Donate To Democratic Cause
July 30, 2004

MIAMI BEACH, Fla. -- A South Florida woman who died this week had an unusual last request. Instead of flower or contributions in her name to a charity, she asked those who loved her to try to make sure President George W. Bush is not re-elected.

Loved ones said that Joan Abbey was committed to her political passions, even in death.

Abbey was born in Montreal, but lived for many years in Miami Beach and Aventura. Family and friends came from as far away as Canada and California to remember Abbey at the Mount Nebo Jewish Cemetery in Miami.

Abbey, who was a lifelong Democrat, died Monday -- coincidentally on the first day of the Democratic National Convention.

Abbey was buried the day after the Democratic convention ended. Her unusual death notice in the Miami Herald said: "You can honor Joan's values by voting against George Bush and contributing to a liberal or Democratic cause."

full story at: http://www.local10.com/news/3598475/detail.html

Web Addiction Gets Finnish Conscripts Out of Army


HELSINKI (Reuters) - A number of Finnish conscripts have been excused their full term of military service because they are addicted to the Internet, the Finnish Defense Forces said on Tuesday.


Doctors have found the young men miss their computers too much to cope with their compulsory six months in the forces.


"For people who play (Internet) games all night and don't have any friends, don't have any hobbies, to come into the army is a very big shock," said Commander-Captain Jyrki Kivela at the military conscription unit.


"Some of (the conscripts) go to the doctor and say they can't stay. Sometimes, the doctors have said they have an Internet addiction," Kivela said.


There are no official figures for the Internet addict dropout rate.


"They get sent home for three years and after that they have to come back and we ask if they are OK ... they will have had time to grow up," Kivela said.


Finland called up 26,500 men in 2003, nine percent of whom were relieved of duty for medical reasons.


However, the Internet drop-outs have not dented national pride in "sisu," a Finnish quality of being tough and resilient.


"We are very proud of our Finnish men. Eight-two percent of all Finnish men manage their whole military service," Kivela said.

---




/jarmo

only in finland! :rofl:

 :rofl: :rofl:

If Bush (or Kerry) have to re-instate the draft, now there is a good excuse.... I am addicted to HTGTH and the internet so I cant fight  :hihi:

I remember another weird news story about the British military where the army paid for one of its female soldiers to have breast implants because it made her feel better about herself.

Bigger Breasts for Free: Join the Army

Thu Jul 22, 9:15 AM ET  Add Oddly Enough - Reuters to My Yahoo!
 


NEW YORK (Reuters) - The U.S. Army has long lured recruits with the slogan "Be All You Can Be," but now soldiers and their families can receive plastic surgery, including breast enlargements, on the taxpayers' dime.

   

The New Yorker magazine reports in its July 26th edition that members of all four branches of the U.S. military can get face-lifts, breast enlargements, liposuction and nose jobs for free -- something the military says helps surgeons practice their skills.


"Anyone wearing a uniform is eligible," Dr. Bob Lyons, chief of plastic surgery at Brooke Army Medical Center in San Antonio told the magazine, which said soldiers needed the approval of their commanding officers to get the time off.


Between 2000 and 2003, military doctors performed 496 breast enlargements and 1,361 liposuction surgeries on soldiers and their dependents, the magazine said.


The magazine quoted an Army spokeswoman as saying, "the surgeons have to have someone to practice on."

---



/jarmo

Thanks for finding the story   :rofl:    But I do rememeber one about the UK army as well, unless my memory has become really bad.

in our countyr they're voting on a law to make plastic surgery (aspecially fake boobs) free fr models, the model association: "well everyone's looking at us on posters and all so if we have bigger boobs we'll look better and people will enjoy that too" :hihi:

don't know if that story's somewhere online too but the last article made me think of that ;D

MANILA, Philippines (AP) -- Four members of a family have been arrested and charged with murder for allegedly killing and eating a relative during a wedding reception -- and serving his flesh to unwitting party guests, police have said.

At the July 17 wedding of his daughter, Eladio Baule got angry with his cousin Benjie Ganay who tripped and accidentally touched the bride's bottom, said Senior Police Inspector Perla Bacuel, at Narra town in Palawan province, southwest of Manila.

A few hours later, Baule, his son Gerald, another cousin Junnie Buyot and a nephew, Sabtuari Pique, allegedly confronted Ganay, then drove him to a secluded place where they stabbed him to death, Bacuel said.

Buyot, who surrendered to police and is acting as a witness, told police they then roasted Ganay's body using coconut leaves and kerosene, Bacuel said.

Baule senior later forced Buyot to take a bite of Ganay's flesh, which he claims he threw up but was then forced at knifepoint to swallow, Bacuel said.

Buyot told police that the group returned to the party and served some of Ganay's cooked remains to guests who were still celebrating the wedding, Bacuel said.

"It was perhaps due to their drunkenness. They probably didn't know what they were eating," he said.

Buyot reported the incident several days later to a local village leader who took him to police. Pique also surrendered, and Baule and his son were arrested.

Superintendent Rey Lanada, Palawan provincial police chief, said cannibalism would be treated as an aggravating circumstance in the crime.

I was expecting the family's name to be Lecter :hihi:

ATHLONE, IRELAND: The O'Connoll family, a farming family, from Athlone, have been awarded this years Irish Inventors Of The Year Award.

The Irish family of 4, created a new means of scaring off crows, that have plauged farmers for centuries. It is said to be the most affective method know to farmers in Ireland, and word has spread through Ireland since the O'Connoll family made their discovery in May of this year.

They won the award, at this years ceremony after being chosen from 60 different participints that night, and over 1200 entries in total.

The awards held at Trinity College, Dublin, on August 4th is seen as the most prestigious ceremony in Europe. They have been awarded a cheque for 18000 Irish Euros, donated by the Irish Lotto Foundation.

Mr Jim O'Connoll said after the ceremony "Aye. I be gracious te fuck. I thank the lot o' ye, but bless mary herself, yer not gettin' a punt, ye greasy pig fucker."



(http://www.comedyemails.com/Storage/IRISH_SCARECROW1.jpg)

http://www.wftv.com/news/3643877/detail.html

So sad....

600-Pound Woman Dies After Being Surgically Removed From Couch
A dramatic rescue ended tragically in Stuart, Florida, a rescue so difficult firefighters say they have never seen anything like it.
 
It happened late Tuesday night and early Wednesday morning at the home of a 600-pound woman who was having trouble breathing. Rescuers went in not knowing how difficult it would be to get her out. 40-year-old Gail Grinds was literally stuck to her couch and had to be removed surgically at the hospital.

Authorities estimate she had been on the couch anywhere from two to five years.

Martin County Fire amd Rescue crews faced what seemed to be an impossible mission. Everyone going inside had to wear protective gear. The stench was so powerful they had to blast in fresh air.

They tried to cut out the front door, but at four-and-a-half feet wide, it wouldn't work. They had to cut plywood since a normal stretcher wouldn't do.

An ambulance was too small, so they brought in a trailer to get her out. While rescue crews came up with a back-door rescue plan, detectives secured what had become a crime scene, questioning family members about how it got so bad.

Using planks, they loaded the woman on to the trailer, still attached to the couch. Removing her would be too painful, since her body is grafted to the fabric. After years of staying put, her skin has literally become one with the sofa and it must be surgically removed.

Detectives are investigating whether they have a case of neglect, or if it is simply a very sad story.

Grinds was taken to the Martin Memorial hospital where doctors removed her from the couch, but she died in spite of all the attempts to save her life.

 :o  Damn, I didn't know that could happen!  Someone had to be feeding her and knew for a long time.  :-\

Sexually frustrated chimp takes up smoking

Sun Aug 29, 7:47 AM ET 


BEIJING (Reuters) - Sexual frustration has turned a Chinese chimpanzee from a mild-mannered simian into a problem primate who smokes cigarettes and spits at visitors, the Xinhua news agency says.

   

Feili, a female chimp in the city of Zhengzhou in the central province of Henan, picked up her nasty habits by imitating visitors who behaved "improperly" around her, Xinhua quoted zoo director Liu Bing as saying on Sunday.


But, Liu said, the root cause of Feili's transformation from a "gentle girl" into a "shrew" lay with the inability to find her a satisfactory mate.


A male chimpanzee at the zoo has failed to live up to Feili's sexual demands, and she has snubbed other potential suitors.


Zoo officials said Feili was not addicted to nicotine, but the chimp has also demonstrated clever -- if not desperate -- behaviour to score a smoke.


"The chimp is spitting at tourists and smoking," Xinhua quoted a boy visiting the zoo. "Just now a tourist threw a cigarette butt to just outside the cage, she tried to get the butt with a stick."






Source: http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=857&ncid=757&e=10&u=/nm/20040829/od_uk_nm/oukoe_odd_china_chimpanzee

PUPPY SHOOTS FLORIDA MAN



Deputies say
Dog put paw on gun's trigger as owner tried to kill him The Associated Press
Updated: 3:52 p.m. ET Sept. 9, 2004PENSACOLA, Fla. - A man who tried to shoot seven puppies was shot himself when one of the dogs put its paw on the revolver?s trigger.


 
Jerry Allen Bradford, 37, was charged with felony animal cruelty, the Escambia County Sheriff?s Office said Wednesday. He was being treated at a hospital for a gunshot wound to his wrist.

Bradford said he decided to shoot the 3-month-old shepherd-mix dogs in the head because he couldn?t find them a home, according to the sheriff?s office.

On Monday, Bradford was holding two puppies ? one in his arms and another in his left hand ? when the dog in his hand wiggled and put its paw on the trigger of the .38-caliber revolver. The gun then discharged, the sheriff?s report said.

Deputies found three of the puppies in a shallow grave outside Bradford?s home, said sheriff?s Sgt. Ted Roy.

The other four appeared to be in good health and were taken by Escambia County Animal Control, which planned to make them available for adoption.



How can people be cruel to animals? I cant understand how people can be mean to loveable animals.

How much of a sick f*** do you have to be to think killing a puppy with a gun to its head it better then trying to donate them to a shelter. People love puppies. People like this dont deserve to raise kids, I hope they charge him with 3 counts of animal cruetly and anything else they can.

Hell nueter the guy.

man thats one smart dog.

a little ironic don't you think  :hihi:

Smart dog.

great contribution dianne :hihi:

Apparently, this little puppy has been given a name: Trigger.  :hihi:

In a secret Paris cavern, the real underground cinema
Jon Henley in Paris
Wednesday September 08 2004
The Guardian

Police in Paris have discovered a fully equipped cinema-cum-restaurant in a large and previously uncharted cavern underneath the capital's chic 16th arrondissement.

Officers admit they are at a loss to know who built or used one of Paris's most intriguing recent discoveries.

"We have no idea whatsoever," a police spokesman said.

"There were two swastikas painted on the ceiling, but also celtic crosses and several stars of David, so we don't think it's extremists. Some sect or secret society, maybe. There are any number of possibilities."

Members of the force's sports squad, responsible - among other tasks - for policing the 170 miles of tunnels, caves, galleries and catacombs that underlie large parts of Paris, stumbled on the complex while on a training exercise beneath the Palais de Chaillot, across the Seine from the Eiffel Tower.

After entering the network through a drain next to the Trocadero, the officers came across a tarpaulin marked: Building site, No access.

Behind that, a tunnel held a desk and a closed-circuit TV camera set to automatically record images of anyone passing. The mechanism also triggered a tape of dogs barking, "clearly designed to frighten people off," the spokesman said.

Further along, the tunnel opened into a vast 400 sq metre cave some 18m underground, "like an underground amphitheatre, with terraces cut into the rock and chairs".

There the police found a full-sized cinema screen, projection equipment, and tapes of a wide variety of films, including 1950s film noir classics and more recent thrillers. None of the films were banned or even offensive, the spokesman said.

A smaller cave next door had been turned into an informal restaurant and bar. "There were bottles of whisky and other spirits behind a bar, tables and chairs, a pressure-cooker for making couscous," the spokesman said.

"The whole thing ran off a professionally installed electricity system and there were at least three phone lines down there."

Three days later, when the police returned accompanied by experts from the French electricity board to see where the power was coming from, the phone and electricity lines had been cut and a note was lying in the middle of the floor: "Do not," it said, "try to find us."

The miles of tunnels and catacombs underlying Paris are essentially former quarries, dating from Roman times, from which much of the stone was dug to build the city.

Today, visitors can take guided tours around a tightly restricted section, Les Catacombes, where the remains of up to six million Parisians were transferred from overcrowded cemeteries in the late 1700s.

But since 1955, for security? ?reasons, it has been an offence to "penetrate into or circulate within" the rest of the network.

There exist, however, several secretive bands of so-called? cataphiles, who gain access to the tunnels mainly after dark, through drains and ventilation shafts, and hold what in the popular imagination have become drunken orgies but are, by all accounts, innocent underground picnics.

The recent discovery of three newly enlarged tunnels underneath the capital's high-security La Santé prison was put down to the activities of one such group, and another, iden tifying itself as the Perforating Mexicans, last night told French radio the subterranean cinema was its work.

Patrick Alk, a photographer who has published a book on the urban underground exploration movement and claims? ?to be close to the group, told RTL radio the cavern's discovery was "a shame, but not the end of the world". There were "a dozen more where that one came from," he said.

"You guys have no idea what's down there."

Copyright Guardian Newspapers Limited

dont be taking any chinese pills...

Fake pill gives man a hard time

Hanoi - A Vietnamese man who took a fake tablet of the impotence drug Viagra was admitted to hospital after his erection lasted two days, doctors said Thursday.

The 47-year-old man was admitted Sunday to Binh Dan Hospital in Ho Chi Minh City from nearby Vinh Long province, two days after taking the Chinese-made tablet, said a doctor from the hospital where he was treated.

The man bought the pill from an acquaintance for less than two dollars (R12) last Friday and took it that evening. The man did not have intercourse after taking the pill, but could not get rid of the erection, said the doctor who declined to be named.

Doctors performed a minor operation to drain some blood from the man's erect penis. They were not sure what was contained in the pill since no samples were available. - Sapa-DPA

Quickwire
Published on the Web by IOL on 2005-03-17 08:03:01

5-Year-Old Cuffed, Arrested in Florida


ST. PETERSBURG, Fla. - A 5-year-old girl was arrested, cuffed and put in back of a police cruiser after an outburst at school where she threw books and boxes, kicked a teacher in the shins, smashed a candy dish, hit an assistant principal in the stomach and drew on the walls.

   

The students were counting jelly beans as part of a math exercise at Fairmount Park Elementary School when the little girl began acting silly. That's when her teacher took away her jelly beans, outraging the child.


Minutes later, the 40-pound girl was in the back of a police cruiser, under arrest for battery. Her hands were bound with plastic ties, her ankles in handcuffs.


"I don't want to go to jail," she said moments after her arrest Monday.


No charges were filed and the girl went home with her mother.


While police say their actions were proper, school officials were not pleased with the outcome.


"We never want to have 5-year-old children arrested," said Michael Bessette, the district's Area III superintendent.


The district's campus police should have been called to help and not local police, he said.


Bessette said campus police routinely deal with children and are trained to calm them in such situations.


Under the district's code of student conduct, students are to be suspended for 10 days and recommended for expulsion for unprovoked attacks, even if they don't result in serious injury. But district spokesman Ron Stone said that rule wouldn't apply to kindergartners.


"She's been appropriately disciplined under the circumstances," he said.


The girl's mother, Inda Akins, said she is consulting an attorney.


"She's never going back to that school," Akins said. "They set my baby up."





/jarmo

This is from the Palm Beach Post a few weeks back.

Yes, I'm sooooooo proud.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Watch those early-morning drives

Trashed the Porsche? No sweat. There's always the Land Rover.

Driving fancy cars into walls near the beach at dawn is proving expensive for Palm Beacher Kevin McGann. The 41-year-old businessman was nailed by Island cops Monday morning after crashing his Land Rover into a wall in a sharp curve near radio talkmeister Rush Limbaugh's home on North Ocean Blvd.

By the time the law arrived at the scene of the 6:30 a.m. mishap, a slightly injured McGann was walking to his nearby home. He was charged with DUI, careless driving and leaving the scene.

Similar circumstances just two months ago. On Jan. 29, McGann drove his $70,000 Porsche Targa through a sea wall on North Ocean Blvd., a mile south. The Porsche plunged 12 feet into the surf. Cops found a slightly injured McGann strolling barefoot on the beach about 8 a.m. He was charged with careless driving and leaving the scene.

"There was no suspicion of DUI that day," PB Police spokeswoman Janet Kinsella said.

McGann couldn't be reached for comment.

------------------------------------------------------------------------


Twice in two months.::)
Unreal.

/Mike