|MEXICAN FOOD WITH . . .
Their livers obliterated, rock legends set out to destroy their bowels
>Super Tacos Michoacan, North Hollywood, CA Round1: Corn chips
FHM Before we get started, are any of you currently on the lam?
Duff McKagan, bass No, not right now.
FHM Phew. You guys must have made a fortune playing in Guns N Roses
and Stone Temple Pilots. Why are we eating at some low-rent taco stand?
Duff We rehearse around the corner from here. This place is horrible.
Itll kill you.
Matt Sorum, drums Anything could happen. You could love it, or you could
FHM Have you guys ever dusted your leathers with brown salsa?
Duff Ive shit my pants. I was at a music convention in Chicago
and I was too drunk to give a fuck. I just went into the bathroom and wiped
Slash, guitar It wasnt so much of a stench.
Matt I was in a limo once with this hot little stripper. I said to her,
Baby, I think Im feeling sick. Then it just came out like
a scene from The Exorcist, out of my mouth and my ass at the same time. The
stripper was so disgusted, she was sick too.
FHM Did you still get to bang her?
>Round 2: Arguing in Mexican
FHM What do you guys usually order here?
Slash A taco, an enchilada and lots of pickled jalapenos. But my favorite
tacos are the regular, cheap Taco Bell tacos.
Dave Kushner, guitar Hard-shell tacos are a no-no. Im Mexican;
hard-shell tacos are very American. Theyre for the weak.
Scott Weiland, singer I prefer carnitas. Slow-pulled pork, roasted pork
Matt Good Mexican food is all about the corn tortilla. Its got
to be done on the grill and its got to be two layers. The meat either
has to be a good carne asada or a good pollo. And no fucking cheese and shit
>Round 3: Quesadilla appetizers
FHM The albums called Contraband. Whats the biggest thing youve
had wedged up your ass?
Duff Probably my old ladys finer.
Slash Synthetic heroin in the form of a suppository.
Scott I put a couple of balloons of heroin and a crack pipe up my ass.
FHM Why put a crack pipe up your ass?
Scott Cocaine paranoia. I was in a suite at the Four Seasons in a city
I wont name. I was convinced that secret agents were around; that kind
of thing comes with the advanced stages of freebase smoking. I didnt want
to get rid of the pipe, so I wrapped it in a plastic and keistered
it. Thats the jail term for putting something up your ass.
FHM What is a velvet revolver? Is it a cock?
Duff Its whatever you might conjure up. But there are some bad
band names out there. Pearl Jam is horrible. Nirvana? There was a Nirvana in
every city. There was an Incubus everywhere. Led Zeppelin, Def Leppard: Theyre
>Round 4: Tacos all around
FHM Besides eating these tacos, whats the most dangerous thing youve
Duff Ive ODed. Ive stood on the edge of Niagara Falls.
My pancreas blew up because I was drinking a gallon of vodka a day. I could
Matt I hired a driver to take me into the jungles near Caracas, Venezuela,
to score cocaine. He spoke no English but he had a handlebar mustache. Three
days later, I woke up on the balcony of some hotel room I had no idea how I
FHM Dangerous. You should carry a butterfly knife.
Matt I have one. Keith Richards is a butterfly-knife expert though.
FHM Have your partied with the master?
Matt Not with him, but in his vicinity. He mixed me a drink. It was nine
parts vodka and one part cranberry. At the bar he was ordering two Jack and
gingers at a time. I said, Keith, why order two drinks at once?
He said, In case I spill one.
>Round 5: Burritos for six
FHM Slash, pass the salsa.
Slash I partied at the White House when Clinton was in office. They had
a New Years party and I snuck in a case of Evian filled with vodka. The
party was raging. It was interesting meeting his daughter while she was partying
FHM Does this whole band exist as a fuck you to Axl?
Duff No. Its our statement.
FHM What do you think about his botox-and-leather look?
Matt Im not feeling it. And I dont know whats going
on with the hair.
FHM How many albums will you release before Chinese Democracy comes out?
Matt Probably three.
>Round 6: Pollo and hats
FHM How long can a man get away with wearing a hat and leather pants?
Dave Forever. Look at Santa Claus. Hes fat, he wears leather boots
and hes got a hat.
FHM Slash, wheres your famous top hat?
Duff He only pimps the old hat out for special occasions now. I was the
first one to experiment with the top hat. Slash said, Hey, can I try that
on? Its the perfect look for him and it keeps his hair out of his
FHM Where do you buy those tiny belts for your hats?
Slash The first one was a Concho belt I stole and cut with some scissors. Concho
belts are these Western belts that go around things. Since then, Ive only
had two made.
FHM Thanks for clearing that up.
Slash Are these the things you think about? I hate to think people lie
awake at night thinking about where I get the little belts to go around my hats.